The Black Valentine

On Wednesday the 14th, was the much talked about Valentine's Day.
Here is my own Valentine's Day story.
On Tuesday the 13th, I logged on to Instagram to share one of my latest stories . Okay, so when I opened the App, I realized that I had a lot of unreplied DMs. So I decided to reply messages instead. One of the messages was from one of my side chicks, Chinonso. She was asking where I'd take her to on Valentine's Day. I didn't reply the message, I just laughed in my mind. "It's like one this mad, she doesn't know she's just a side chick?" I thought about it and laughed even more. Before I could finish reading other messages, Chinonso's call came through. I didn't want to take the call at first, but I knew she won't stop calling until I took her call. So I picked up, and she went all "Darny, tomorrow is Val's Day, where are you taking me to?"
I didn't know what to answer. I had only 15k left in my life, which i've been hiding in one deep corner of my bag since January. This 15k is literary my life, therefore I can't joke with it.

"you are pretending not to hear me abi? Where are you taking me to?" Chinonso continued.
Immediately, I activated my 'pity voice,'
"Ah, Nonso, you know I don't have money na. If I had money you know what I can do na."

"Since I met you, when have you ever had money? But if 'konji' hold you, you will have money to transport me to your house. Stingy boy." She blasted me angrily, and ended the call.
I was happy ehn, this one is off my neck. I decided to go back to continue what I was doing on Instagram.

Valentine's Day finally came, I was home that morning reading Jane Austen's 'PRIDE AND PREJUDICE', a novel i've been struggling with since November Last Year.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Before I could answer the door, Chinonso opened the door and walked in, like an 'Igbo Demon, as though she owns the room. Her first words were "Happy Valentine's Day, my love. Where are we going to?"
I was shocked. "I thought we talked about this yesterday?" I asked.
"yes we did. Today is lovers' day, since my boyfriend is too broke to take me out, is it a crime if I take him out? Oga goan bath, i want to take you out today, so that you will be ashamed. Since you don't know your work as a man."
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. But i'm definitely not ashamed of a woman taking me out. Infact, I love it. It's my hobby. If you know, you know.

Anyway, to cut the long story short. I went to take my bath, and Chinonso took me out as promised. We went to a Chinese Restaurant in Festac Festival Mall. A plate of rice is 7k, and she paid for two plates. I was shocked. We ate, and drank, and took pictures, and laughed, and Chinonso paid the bill in full. I mean, all of it.
On our way out of the restaurant, I teased her, "Nono, so you have money like this, and i've been suffering?"
She just smiled and said, "you will suffer even more because I took 15k from inside your big bag when you went to bath. Next time don't lie to an Igbo girl."

I don't know what happened afterwards. I woke up this evening in a hospital. As i'm writing this story, I still can't breath well. Its like I want to die.