General
Concerning my Dog . Honorable Mention in Sorry About That Challenge.
Dear Augusta National Golf Club, I would like to apologize for my dog wandering onto your golf course. I just found the hole he dug under the fence, and, I assure you, it’s been taken care of, and it will never happen again.
By Harper Lewis 6 months ago in Humor
The Bras Incident (I Regret Everything). Winner in Sorry About That Challenge. Content Warning.
Dear Angie, It's been a while, eh hen? We used to be as tight as a priest's pocket. I still think of you, frae time tae time. Ah understand why things had tae end between us, though—I really do. There's nae come back frae what went doon that night. Quite literally.
By Paul Stewart6 months ago in Humor
Regarding my husband's behavior at Lady Thumpton's champagne social . Runner-Up in Sorry About That Challenge.
My dearest Hortense, I must begin this letter with my most sincere, ardent apology. The events that took place at Thumpton Manor this Friday last have left me plagued with an embarrassment so profound that I fear for my very life. Do you recall when we were girls, how Mr. Haggleby fell into the punch bowl at your confirmation and summarily perished? (They said it was the dysentery that took him but I always knew it to be the shame surrounding his most ungainly tumble.) The worry that I should share his fate dogs my every thought!
By Daniel Bradbury6 months ago in Humor
When I'm wrong
Sonia! Sonia! Sonia, I’m so glad we bumped into each other! Phew, sorry, bit out of breath. I thought you weren’t going to hear me there, not sure I would have had it in me to chase you across the car park! Oh look at that. Have you seen the price of these melons? Crumbs, everything is getting so expensive now, isn’t it. Oh! You picked up the two for one strawberries too! Snap! I mean, actually, I just came in for some bits for a lunch tomorrow. David’s cousin, Nancy – you remember Nancy? You met her once, at my 50th? Big hair? Anyway, Nancy is coming over with her lot, you know. One of them’s a vegan. A vegan! I’m thinking of doing maybe a quiche, you know. Roast chicken, all the veg, and a quiche for the vegans. Anyway, that’s by the by, I am so glad I caught you, I have been just in bits. In bits! I mean, I didn’t realise at the time, of course, why would I, I mean, I can’t be expected to know everything, can I, but you see, I think it may have been my fault. You know. The thing. The thing that happened with Andy.
By Hannah Moore6 months ago in Humor
The Unwritten Rules of Grocery Store Parking Lots...
Prologue: Lo, the Battlefield Lo, do I see before me, a kingdom of cracked asphalt and faded paint. A field where the strong prey upon the distracted, where carts roll like tumbleweeds across the prairie, and where no mortal leaves unscathed. This, my friends, is the grocery store parking lot… the true crucible of modern society.
By The Pompous Post6 months ago in Humor
Sorry About the Elephant
I’d like to start by saying sorry about last Tuesday’s group session. I know people came expecting a normal workshop. A bit of emotional regulation, a bit of breathing, maybe a worksheet no one really wanted to fill out but everyone politely pretended was useful. There was supposed to be tea, biscuits, a chat about stress, nervous system stuff, and how not to let your brain run off into the scrub at 2 o’clock in the morning carrying a shovel and a list of worst-case scenarios.
By Teena Quinn 6 months ago in Humor
Computer Generated Madness
Sunlight disappeared from the landscape an hour ago, encouraging a used wrecked rented red sedan, ‘barrel down the desert highway search for a quick instant fix’. Behind the wheel Professor Alexander Albert Iknow the Fifth Generation piloted, commanding a violent halt, slamming the breaks. Seeing reality using the sign illumination originating from the neon display proclaiming “The Get a Gig and Bite Grill”, Professor AI collected his belongings moving on, leaving the four-wheel transportation convenient technology behind.
By Marc OBrien6 months ago in Humor
