Fridge Tetris

Today, I have played my least liked game, one which I call "Fridge Tetris".

Currently, I have only one fridge. Previously, before one broke and some well-needed kitchen renovations were started, I had two.

A fridge is an essential, of course, and when I lived in Canada (and, in fairness, had a bigger kitchen in the UK), I had one of those enormous double doored affairs that opened up and shed and light on you like you were entering Heaven, which, if you were hungry and looking for something to eat, then you surely were.

Unfortunately, in my current kitchen, fridge space is at a minimum and I do not want to wrench out units to accommodate a bigger one as that would require a lot of work. So, I have a slimline fridge freezer which occupies the perfect space and is, for the most part, adequate for purpose.

Except it isn't really because it's a little bit small, if I'm honest. It has to fit various sized items in it from big bottles of milk and orange juice to smaller packets of bacon and butter, to yoghurt cartons in fours and a 2 litre bottle of Diet Coke too. Very little space but lots of things required to fit.

And so, when I come back from a supermarket shop, I am faced with the most arduous of tasks: how do I fit everything I've bought, into the space in our small fridge? And it will all fit, dear reader. Oh yes, there will be no grape left behind! Every bag of carrots will be stuffed in the back recesses and the container of coleslaw will have its space! In this, I am determined.

But bloody hell, it's hard work.

What I should probably do is take everything out and start from scratch but that's a pain in the arse to start. And so, I shift and push and pull and place and grumble and extract and rearrange and do this all the while wondering why I have bought so much.

Something happens when I am in the supermarket. I imagine my fridge as Doctor Who's Tardis, notoriously bigger on the inside than it appears from the outside, only this is not the case. There is no timelord's magic taking place when it comes to the fridge where I store my cold goods.

It is only when I get home and embark on "Fridge Tetris" that I realise what a deluded idiot I am.

And so, did I get everything in the fridge? Was I successful in my game of "Fridge Tetris"? Yes, sort of. Is everything accessible? Um, yes, although I have warned the family not to open the door too sharply lest everything fall out. I was not able to follow the perfect brick formation of the game and so there was some random stuffing on shelves of shredded cheese and some precarious balancing of odd flat items that do have a tendency to slide if jolted.

"Fridge Tetris" has now evolved into "Fridge Roulette" - will everything stay in place with the jerk of the fridge door or will someone be the unlucky recipient of Seafood Cocktail on their sock or, worse, a plastic bottle of some sort of dressing careering to land either on or near their person? Will they be the victim of splatter or - gasp - injury?

The food isn't the only thing that I like to keep fresh!

But ulitimately, everything that needs to be chilled, is being chilled. And that includes me. Now. Because "Fridge Tetris" is now over for another week.

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