Alien Van Life

PITCH

Tagline:

A bit of alien is in each of us.

Logline:

A charming, shapeshifting alien revisits planet Earth to finish her dissertation on human evolution, and the first stop is a glitzy SciFi convention in Las Vegas after she morphs into a human disguise. Introducing herself as an up-and-coming vlog influencer, the alien is most intrigued by an offbeat group of Van Lifers who invite her to narrate a prospective road trip documentary, promising to showcase real adventures of life on wheels, even when some are so unreal they feel alien.

Synopsis:

Alien Van Life is a quirky comedy series in which a zillennial, millennial, boomer, and disguised alien go on a caravaneer road trip. With diverse needs and expectations, they argue, fight, and struggle to learn how to celebrate their shared humanity. Reflecting on the world’s post-pandemic paradigm shifts and culture wars, they find themselves needing each other for assuring reality checks, and they break down social barriers with laughter born of synched insights and hope. Alien Van Life glimpses the growing phenomenon of people living on wheels in a world that seems to grow increasingly alien as they wonder, “What next?”

Core Characters:

Yonni Alba is an alien from Taurus Prime and the only member of her high-achieving family who does not yet command a Taurusean company or have an advanced degree as do her older sister and brother. Her birth name is جاهزر دَستا (Jahzara Desta), and her family frequently whispers, “Poor Jahz.” She is part of a dynasty with a fleet of spaceships. She snatches a ship, and against her parents’ wishes rushes back to Earth to complete a study of human evolution. (She had briefly returned home for her father’s birthday.) On Earth, Jahzara is known as Yonni Alba. She has an alien, talking pet that morphs into a golden retriever around Earthlings, and when her adorable pet speaks, only Yonni can understand.

Yonni Alba Disguise

Jahzara Desta (aka Yonni Alba)

Zoe Dane is a recent film school graduate zillennial and a media mogul heiress. Her family demands her return to the fold, and she ignores them. Zoe is independent and wants to prove herself without using her renown family’s influence. In many ways, she is like Jahzara. Zoe’s parents, older sister, and two older brothers are wealthy snobs who enjoy their privilege. Her ex-fiance heads the West Coast division of her family’s conglomerate. She is co-creator of a PBS documentary on University Paradigm Shifts after the Pandemic. In addition to loving all things film, Zoe loves music. She is an accomplished pianist. Also, Zoe is never without a playlist at-the ready. She has no problem sharing her music anytime, anywhere. (Zoe has lived in a van for the last two years.)

Tony Bradford is a tech-savvy, mechanical genius millennial who steals on occasion. His petty crimes started with teenage shoplifting, and he spent time in juvie. Though he once was blind to why he went from straight A’s in school to shoplifting and making B’s, Tony now knows that he was trying to divert his remarried father’s attention from the new family, a stepmother and stepbrother. Tony is his mother’s oldest child and brother to Little Sis by Mom and Dad. Tony’s daddy issues are only the beginning of his challenges. Now, he always feels “second,” not good enough to be first. The feeling spreads over his life, even in money matters. He resents rich people since he is merely middle class. Little does Tony know that he is about to come face to face with that resentment as he grows close to new friends. Tony’s fiancée dumped him a year ago when he lost his Work From Home job: he refused the “return to office” command of his post-pandemic office manager. (Tony has lived in a van for the last year.)

Zeke Stanton is a wealthy, widowed boomer, and a retired land developer. He is also an amateur magician and occasionally tries to rekindle a zest for life with magic. He has sizable bank accounts, one in Switzerland, and a deserted mansion that is his primary home. His wife, Raquel, died of COVID seven months ago. They were married for twenty years and shared five children–three girls and two boys. Two were adopted. Zeke talks to the urn ashes of his beloved dead wife; he takes her almost everywhere. (Zeke has lived in a luxury RV for the last month.)

Pilot (Episode 1) Plot Events: "SciFi Con"

• Over the bright lights of a Las Vegas casino hotel, a fiery spaceship shoots out of a hole in the night sky. The ship goes invisible in stealth mode. On Earth satellites, it looks like a comet mysteriously appeared and disappeared. Inside the ship, an adult female alien paces nervously in front of a wall-sized Telescreen.

• Parental ultimatums, in tones any child recognizes, harangue across galaxies on an interplanetary video call. A worried mother and father threaten then plead with their daughter to return home to Taurus Prime. This adult “child” is جاهزر دَستا (Jahzara Desta). On Earth, she is known as Yonni Alba. Her parents demand that she immediately leave “that alien, savage planet near the Aries galaxy fringes, Earth.” Yonni pretends to be fearless as she insists on exploring where no Taurusean has explored before, except her. After woeful goodbyes, the monitor zaps to black.

• Yonni breathes a sigh of relief and morphs into a human disguise. Her alien pet sighs in harmony and babbles relief in a language that we viewers will never understand. Yonni laughs and smooths the fur on the little guy’s head, then says goodbye and beams to the SciFi convention in the hotel below. Yonni quickly renews her popularity as a flashy vlog influencer.

• At the grandest national SciFi convention of the year, we meet Zoe, Tony, and Zeke who are costumed strangers. The place is a fun riot. Tony in a laughable spacesuit spots Zeke in a dazzling alien costume–and a Rolex (on an alien?) that resembles the Rolex of Tony’s estranged father. Tony is drunk. He decides to take a closer look at the Rolex. So, he uses his theft skills.

• Zoe in a blue Super Being suit is using her Smartphone to video the convention when she spots a sneaky conference attendee in a tacky spacesuit tailing a man in an alien costume that is the best ever, except for the Rolex. She tails them both. Her panoramic video zooms past a colorful parade of shiny iron-like warriors, robots and scaly or furry monsters–some with two heads. The zoom closes in on Tony and Zeke, and she captures the Rolex grab on video.

• Yonni spots the Rolex grab, too. A blue Super Being woman is tailing the thief who stole the Rolex. Yonni is delighted with the entertainment and new dissertation subtopic of evolution vs. devolution. She eases out of selfies with a salacious two-headed, green alien and starts videoing the trio. The jealous green alien throws a tantrum that ignites hilarious chaos in his motley clique and ceases the minute he grows bored with old theatrics and waltzes off, with heads wobbling, to create new ones.

• At the convention’s evening finale, a cosplay award event, Zeke is announced as the first-place winner. By the time he collects his trophy and ends a small speech, Tony is at his van, but he cannot find the keys. Still in costume, Tony retraces his steps. Miserable after not finding his keys, he returns to the van. Zeke is waiting for him, minus his alien costume’s head, and spinning Tony’s keyring on a finger.

• The men fight. In moments of TV bliss, costume parts fly everywhere. It looks as if Tony is decapitated when his spaceman costume head flies into the night. Suddenly, Tony and Zeke are startled when a new arrival, Zoe, loudly applauds the show, and her phone blasts the song “Celebration” by Kool & The Gang.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rw1P7gdtAeY

• Embarrassed, the men cool down. By now, Tony is stone cold sober. He returns the stolen Rolex and Zeke returns the swiped keys. Yonni has everything on a holographic video. She transmits a duplicate video file to her dissertation folder on the spaceship computer.

• Zeke does the unexpected: he invites Tony and Zoe to his van for nightcaps. They accept and follow him to the back of the casino hotel.
• Zeke’s “van” is a brand new $300,000 luxury recreational vehicle (RV) and nothing like the pre-owned, under-$12,000 each, DIY vans that Zoe and Tony own. Inside Zeke’s RV, the three share laughs, wine and coffee (Tony opts for strong, black coffee), and gourmet pizzas that Zeke has delivered. They discover that they all live on wheels.
• Using wacky distance recording equipment that she has to hit before it works, Yonni eavesdrops on the human subjects and hears assorted details of their past. Some are deeply painful confessions; others are inspirational dreams.
• Yonni is moved by the trio’s candor and determination to never give up hope. She pictures her greatest dream: to be respected by every member of her family. The humans remind Yonni of herself.

• There is a knock at the luxury RV’s door. Thinking it might be cops because of the earlier fight, Zeke hesitantly opens the door. Yonni appears. She claims to have lost her sense of direction after leaving the convention and needs help finding her van. (Yonni had to look up the word “van” after eavesdropping.) Zeke invites Yonni to join them. He adds that he would be glad to help Yonni after finishing dinner.
• With the end of commiseration shared over nightcaps and pizzas, Zeke has a life-altering idea. He wants to channel their (Zeke, Tony, Zoe) unresolved, just-below-the-surface crisis energy into a humanitarian project. The still-grieving widower wants to produce a documentary that showcases how people survive, or even thrive, during crises in a post-pandemic world with paradigm shifts and culture clashes, especially Van Lifers who are on the front lines of social change.
• Zeke observes that life now seems as strange as aliens in movies, and that perhaps a little bit of alien is in everyone.
• Yonni wonders what Zeke would think of the Taurus Prime alien eating a slice of his vegetarian pizza. What would he do if I shapeshifted right now?
• Zeke offers to fund the documentary, pay six-figure salaries to Zoe and Tony, and buy all the filming and editing equipment needed.
• Yonni is impressed with the project, secretly planning to use it for her dissertation. She asks if she can join them if the three go through with it. Zeke goes one better and asks the group to consider Yonni for the documentary narrator, since she announced during pizza bites that she is an “up-and-coming vlog influencer.” Zoe and Tony are wary of the plan–and Yonni–but agree to think about it.
• Tony wants to know why Zeke trusts a thief who stole his Rolex. Zeke confesses that he was a bit of a pickpocket as a kid, but not since sixth grade when nuns at his Catholic school found Sister Margaret’s rosary beads falling from his lunch box. Today, Zeke prizes honesty and only indulges in swipes during magic acts, usually. Of course, he returns what he takes. He believes that, deep down, Tony is a good man. However, Zeke cautions that if Tony ever stole from him again, any prospective contract would be voided.
• Tony takes pride in the fact that Zeke believes in him, unlike his estranged dad.
• While enjoying a glass of white wine, Zoe walks around the living room. She spots a picture of Zeke and Raquel and wonders if the widower will ever stop feeling the acute pain of losing his wife. When Zoe’s mind returns to the proposed documentary, she has something to add.
• Zoe cites two more potential issues, their age and cultural differences. After an intense silence, Zeke dives into the honesty he admires. He talks about how his generation, boomers, think that most millennials and zillennials are spoiled and admits that he sometimes harbors that same opinion. Tony laughs at this. Zeke continues: he has no problems with cultural differences. Anyone who is principled and hard-working earns his admiration.
• Tony wastes no time in defending millennials. He lets Zeke know that he “got it wrong: it’s the boomers who messed up the world.” Fathers spent time chasing the almighty dollar instead of being real men at home with their families ... fathers ran off with their secretaries and left single mothers to struggle, raising kids alone.
• Tony also asserts that it’s the rich who are spoiled. They treat industries like toys. Other kids can play if they follow the rich kid’s rules. But cutting off someone’s paycheck is no game–and unfair when an employee’s evaluations have been stellar.
• Zoe sits next to Tony. Zeke notices that the young man calms down.
• Tony is surprised when Zeke does not get mad at him. The host merely offers Tony more coffee. Light laughter relieves tension.
• Yonni remains quiet.
• Zoe speaks of growing up with the privilege of money. She believes that privilege is less about color and more about embracing an identity of power. Of course money ups the chances of winning in life, but it cannot solve all problems.
• Zoe asserts that all people, all colors have enemies, and standing up against hate mongers is never going to be easy, but it is possible. As far as being a zillennial, she is tired of Gen Z clichés about many not even knowing how to read cursive or use bank accounts, but she is not worried. Zoe insists that her generation has already shown it can survive anything, even the blame game indulgences of previous generations.
• Yonni is so shocked, she almost chokes on pizza. Tony’s face reddens. Unexpectedly, Zeke breaks into hearty laughter. He shows himself to be a masterful ambassador. He points out that there are three generations in the same room with obvious disagreements and vastly different world views. However, they are doing something quite admirable–talking and listening without fighting. Zeke grins at Tony. There is a silent acknowledgment.
• Zoe suggests that the prospective documentary incorporate more opportunities for candid culture conversations. Authentic smiles signal agreement, and the collective relief is palpable.
• Yonni loves what she sees and has hopes that she will talk to her family like this one day.
• Suddenly, everyone remembers that Yonni needs help finding her van, and the room is reenergized.
• Yonni remotely controls the transmorph machine on the spaceship, zaps a van into existence and beams it to Earth, a mile away in a park where the group finds the van. Our Earthlings and Taurusean hug goodnight as if they are all old friends.
• In four weeks, Zoe, Tony, Zeke, and Yonni are together again as “The Trekkers” in Upstate New York. Yonni flies an invisible van rocket through the sky and lands near her new friends’ semicircle of vehicles in a van camp. When she hits the remote lock, the rocket tail slides into the van, and the van becomes visible.
• Yonni joins Zoe, Tony, and Zeke in a clearing near a lake. She brings a surprise: her pet golden retriever, Blaze. The love fest is immediate.
• Zeke is grilling steaks. The comedy pilot ends with The Trekkers howling in laughter. They relive how they met and reveal how each did extensive background checks on each other. (Yonni had remembered to plant fake personal histories on Internet Websites.) They even make plans to squeeze in a new SciFi convention between documentary shoots.
• “Celebration” by Kool & The Gang blasts from Zoe’s phone.

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