A Dick Dodgers SFPI Educational Interlewd: Boedeen

Note the below is a part of the saga of Dick Dodgers, Space Faring Paranormal Investigator, 1st Class (... so he says). It is tongue in cheek style background information on the planet Boedeen written for the serial novel "Dick Dodgers and the Case of the Orgasmic Organism."

https://vocal.media/fiction/dick-dodgers

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Dick Dodgers SFPI : Educational Interlewd: A Boedeen Fact-Sheet

Planet Boedeen: Established as an educational institute in Galactic Standard Year (GSY) 1962

Location: A minor planet in the Beaverly Frills section of the Jeth Row planetary system

History: Boedeen was established by a group of wealthy dissidents seeking opportunity for freedom of education and expression. They were led by one Buddie, son of Eb, and his family.

FOUNDERS:

Buddie, son of Eb: A peasant hunter whom popular lore has it became wealthy when he discovered a stock of fossil fuel on his land. Apparently Buddie was trying to shoot a possum when he noticed a foul stream of black goop squirting up from the ground. Completely at a loss, Buddie called in his mother-in-law, Daisy Mae, who was well known as a wise woman in the area. Daisy Mae informed her son-in-law that such goop was the reason the area was known as the ‘Black Hills’. It was Daisy Mae who informed her son-in-law of the actual nature of the “black goop.” After calling in a group of wildcats to dig up the field, Buddie became wealthy.

Note: It is not known why wildcats (a large, fierce, feline creature native to old earth) were utilized for drilling purposes in such endeavors. However, those who trained and led said wildcats were known as Wildcatters.

**Note: Not much is known about Buddie’s father, Eb, son of Daw. He is listed as being a farm hand for a legal expert in a place called Hooters Villa. Said name may be due to the proliferation of owls in the area. The farm on which he worked was known as Green Achers, due to the prevalence of stomach maladies in the villa whenever farmers would partake of their own produce. Buddie’s spousal partner passed away sometime shortly after the birth of their daughter.

Daisy Mae: Mother-in-law of Buddie, son of Eb. AKA Granny Moses. Granny Moses was well known as a painter as well as a naturist. She was also a legal expert, crafting many laws for the denizens of the area… As an amateur sculptor, she carved some of her best-known laws on stone tablets, some of which are still on display at Max Bear University (MBU). [[Unfortunately, some of the laws were lost when the display case holding the tablets was accidentally tipped over during a panty raid perpetrated by a group of scientifically minded nerds bent on revenge on the institutes more athletic members]]. Daisy was also a “wise woman” of the hills whose services as a healer were sought out by many persons in the hills.

**Note: For some reason an above average number of Daisy’s patients were named Billy. Perhaps Billy was merely a popular name in the hills.**

Daisy utilized plants and vegetation to create her special medicines which were known to be very potent. Apparently she had to be very still while brewing her concotions, many of which were said to be fermented.

**Note: Fermentation was a process by which alcoholic medicines were created. Those using the process were advocates of the still method, possibly having to do with meditation and moaning of chants.**

Max Bear: Max Bear … so named due to his hunting prowess … was a hunter of prodigious skill known to hunt ursine creatures called bears.

**Note: Said creatures’ fur/skin was very popular for the making of floor coverings. It was quite the fad on old earth to lay on one in your bare skin in front of a fire while drinking Granny Moses’ vintage hooch; preferably in the company of a significant-other. Bears were forgers known to raid picnics and had a thing for baskets. In order to avoid their raids, one had to call in a Yogi (a religious expert of a once popular type of exercise and meditation. Students of Yogi were known to wear tight pants. Whenever a rip or tear would appear in the student’s outfit it was known as a Boo-boo). Said Yogi would have an acolyte range the area in order to keep the bears out of the bread basket.

Max was the nephew of Buddie. Max’s mother was a famed beauty queen in the area, known as the Pearl of the Hills. She was cousin to Buddie, Son of Eb. Having achieved six years of advanced schooling, Max was a born teacher and mathematician. It is Max who pioneered the field of mathematics known as Gazintas. He is the founder of Max Bear University (MBU) on the planet Boedeen.

El E. Mae: Daughter of Buddie, cousin to Max Bear. El E. Mae (El) was also known as Dawna Dugless due to having contracted breast cancer and, hence having to have her mammary glands removed.

**Note: Female humans, i.e. women, were once susceptible to a virulent disease known as breast cancer. Said disease, if not caught in time, would often necessitate the removal of their mammary glands (breasts). Breast cancer was a highly dangerous medical condition. People who were supporters of medical research to eradicate breast cancer, and/or family members or friends of victims, wore pink ribbons as a sign of their support.

El was very athletic and had a habit of climbing trees (large oxygen releasing foliage), swimming in Sea Mint Ponds, and otherwise ‘rough housing.’ El ran the athletics department at MBU after it’s founding by her cousin Max Bear. El was quoted as stating that the loss of her breasts wasn’t a big deal as it made it easier for her to shinny up a tree.

BASIC FACTS:

The four principal founders of planet Boedeen emigrated from the Black Hills to the Jeth Row section of Beaverly Frills GSY 1962 after the family became wealthy (see above section; Buddie, Son of Eb). They sought to bring the teachings and wisdom of both Granny Moses and Max Bear to the less privileged due to restrictions on their methodology set by the powers that be in society of old earth. They brought along a large brood of cousins, friends, and other “hill Billys” who mostly sought freer land in which to hunt, fish, and otherwise revert to nature. They also brought a large variety of animals. The primary food source seemed to be possum (a marsupial mammal common on old earth and a popular food animal in rural societies).

Max Bear University (MBU): Educational Institute known as the home of the mathematical field of study known as Gazintas.

Best known Culinary Dishes: PossYum Stew … PossYum Pie

Exports: Possum vittles; the Pet Clam, Sea Mint

**Note: For those more literally minded readers we acknowledge that the word ‘possum’ was originally opossum. The founders of Boedeen dropped the ‘o’ from opossum in order to eliminate confusion about the proper pronunciation of the word.

**Note: Vittles - An archaic term originating in the rural areas of the North American continental land mass on old earth. It means “Food.”

**Note: Most homes were equipped with a Sea Mint Pond wherein sea mint was grown. This plant has a quite pleasant odor and is said to have beneficial effects when one is submerged in a pond seeded with it.

SOURCE:

Boedeen Tourism Guide Pamphlet, Beaverly Frills, GSY 2164, by Jeth Row Historical Society; 87 pgs.