In 1998 I had no idea what love was until I met you. At that time I was a mess. I had my heart ripped out over a million times, and my life felt like trash.
I walked on eggshells with everyone that I met. I was terrified to speak out and afraid to make friends. It was the loneliest time in my life that I had ever faced.
All the people who said they would be there, either hurt me or walked away.
I closed myself off, refusing to bother with anybody in an attempt to protect myself from getting hurt. I had become used to the pain after so many years of going through it, that getting hurt became something I expected.
Until you came along.
Where do I begin?
It's hard to express my feelings when someone leaves me speechless after so much abuse.
You always looked after me, made me smile even at times when I didn't want to, and you made me feel human in your company, at a time when I didn't feel human at all.
You showed me a side of me that I never thought was there, a side that was bright, confident, worthy, valuable, and lovable. It took me a long time to accept that I could be any of those things, and I had a lot of setbacks during those years when I was recovering from things that nobody seemed to understand, but you picked me up and encouraged me to stand on my own two feet every time, even when I was terrified to do it.
Thank you for teaching me to stand up for myself.
You showed me that I wasn't a punching bag or an emotional kick bag and that I had every right to feel the way I felt about the abuse I had been through.
You taught me to speak out for myself, and now I am a changed person who speaks out and stands up for her own truth.
We were a special couple.
There wasn't a day going by when I wasn't excited to see you.
That was something special for me because I hated being in the company of others; though I felt safe and at ease in your company.
I finally felt normal, and after many months of pondering; I finally admitted that I loved you.
We married after that, and we have had our share of pain throughout these 20-plus years.
Everybody said we would finally split up, but we got through it; even after losing everything.
I know disabilities make life hard for you, and I know that some days you are afraid that I will walk away.
You were strong for me back then, now it's time to let me be strong for you.
I admit; I have days when I get down with myself, feel lost, and some days I feel lonely and like everything is a struggle. It doesn't mean I'm giving up, it is a signal to myself that I'm in need of self-care, and on those days I take space to do just that so that I can stay strong enough to look after you and myself.
My life would be boring and lonely without you.
My life is healthier with you in it.
So how do I say I love you?
- I loved you yesterday and today,
- I will love you tomorrow and always,
- I will love you at your weakest and strongest times,
- I will love you even if your disabilities worsen,
- I will love you in health when you are as healthy as you can be,
- I will love you in sickness, even on those worse days,
- I will love you when you are happy, sad, and in grief,
- I will love you when you are angry and moody.
I will simply love you for you.
When I say I love you, I mean it.
I also mean that I loved you back when there were no disabilities, and as you are today.
Disabilities don't mean unlovable. A person with disabilities needs love, and they need to be treated like people.
When I say I love you, I mean I always did and will; for all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will be in the future.
I love you.
About the Creator
Carol Townend
Fiction, Horror, Sex, Love, Mental Health, Children's fiction and more. You'll find many stories in my profile. I don't believe in sticking with one Niche! I write, but I also read a lot too.
Comments (1)
Great