What Is HeartBreak & How To Get Over It ?

From literature to plays and movies across the globe, the human fascination with love remains as potent as our preoccupation with heartbreak. However, one wonders whether a broken heart is merely an abstract notion, or if it entails tangible physical effects on the body and the brain.

Whenever you experience physical pain, such as a cut or injury, the anterior cingulate cortex is activated.

Remarkably, the same region of the brain, the anterior cingulate cortex, is activated when you feel excluded or undergo the loss of a social relationship.

Perhaps physical pain and emotional pain are not as distinct as we once believed. The way we describe lost love using physical terms, such as "he ripped my heart out," "it was a slap in the face," or "I'm emotionally scarred," suggests a strong link, at least linguistically, between emotional and physical pain. Surprisingly, studies have revealed that human beings would rather endure physical harm than experience social exclusion. But why do these two seemingly different experiences trigger similar sensations in our bodies?

From an evolutionary perspective, our bodies utilize physical pain as a mechanism to prevent us from encountering immediate danger. Anything that enhances the overall survival and fitness of a species tends to persist in nature. The rise of relationships and social bonds between partners and friends alike played a crucial role in the survival of many species. The concept of "You look out for me, and I'll look out for you" became essential. Just as you desire to avoid being burned by hot coffee, animals desire to avoid social isolation. In both cases, experiencing pain heightens our chances of survival by deterring undesirable outcomes. The likelihood of survival and reproduction increases when individuals are not alone. Studies on primates show that when separated from loved ones, they experience increased cortisol levels and decreased norepinephrine, leading to a significant stress response, ultimately contributing to documented symptoms like depression, anxiety, and loud crying.

For humans, a breakup, the loss of a loved one, or social isolation can evoke a similar physiological reaction, thus creating the perception of physical pain. So, how can we alleviate this pain when band-aids or creams are intended for physical wounds? Research has indicated that high levels of social support are correlated with lower levels of pain, while socially alienated individuals struggle to adapt. Therefore, if you're feeling brokenhearted, it may be beneficial to surround yourself with friends and family, even though it might seem challenging. Likewise, if someone you know is experiencing emotional distress, offering social support can make a significant difference. Because, scientifically speaking, as humans, we all have an inherent desire to belong somewhere.

Nearly everyone experiences romantic love in their lifetime, and while it brings happiness, euphoria, and increased life satisfaction, break-ups are often associated with depression, mood swings, and anxiety. So, are there any scientific strategies to help move past a break-up and get over an ex?

One essential step is to stop creeping on them through social media. Despite thinking it's harmless, monitoring a former partner's online presence has been shown to lead to greater feelings of sexual desire and longing for an ex, while also decreasing personal growth. Similarly, maintaining real-life contact with an ex has been found to intensify sadness and love, ultimately hindering the ability to move on. This is particularly relevant for those in on-again, off-again relationships, where frequent break-ups and reconciliations are linked to increased anxiety, depressive symptoms, and communication issues.

Studies have demonstrated that sensory areas of the brain associated with physical pain become activated when individuals are shown a picture of their ex. In essence, break-ups and social rejection can trigger physical pain. It is, therefore, advisable to sever both digital and real-life ties with your former partner.

If cutting ties proves difficult, a dose of acetaminophen (Tylenol) may offer some relief. Research on undergraduates found that taking this common painkiller during a period of social rejection reduced self-reported levels of social pain and decreased brain activity in regions linked to social rejection and physical pain. Tylenol also appears to decrease brain areas responsible for aggression, potentially helping to mitigate negative impulses.

Another strategy for moving on is Negative Reappraisal, which involves thinking about the negative qualities of a former partner or imagining negative future scenarios with them. This approach is similar to techniques used for individuals struggling with alcohol dependency, where thinking about the negative consequences of alcohol consumption can reduce cravings significantly. In contrast, distraction techniques, such as answering unrelated questions when presented with a photo of the ex, increased short-term pleasantness but did not decrease love feelings.

Based on this research, one suggestion is to write a list of as many negative qualities about your ex as you can think of at least once a day until you start feeling better. Overall, break-ups can be tough, and psychologists highlight the importance of regaining a sense of self separate from a former partner. Unplugging from digital connections and reconnecting with old friends and hobbies can be crucial in the healing process and moving on to new experiences.