The benefit of being cheated on

Have you ever read an article and wanted to blast the writer for having views that are polar opposites to yours? If you haven't, well, you're in for it now, and you can't back out.

In the 2013 Bollywood movie Jolly LLB 2, during one of the scenes, Ashkay Kumar, the lead actor, pleads his case and he uses a line that many of us are familiar with, "all is fair in love and war", but he goes on to explain the toxicity of this phrase because it whitens the dark acts perpetrated in the name of love, like acid throwing; scorched earth; or even assault.

Yet I ask, should love be treated in a similar manner to war? If so, then couples should have room for parlance after a fight, they should have allies and allow room for mediators, casualties of war should be taken into consideration and if all else fails, total inhalation of one another should follow.

Let's have a scenario, a regular occurrence, infidelity.
When one partner in a relationship is unfaithful, it is understandable to side with the victim, given that they could be in need of moral support and advice, but what if we made it a norm, like in war and added a mediator to counsel.

Right now you could be thinking about couple's therapy and so forth, but I do not necessarily speak for a reunion, my idea thrives in separation.

"But why mend fences just to split again?"

Alright, think of it this way, every action has an equal reaction, peradventure, a cheating partner was motivated by your actions, wouldn't you want to know and improve on yourself for your next stint in a relationship? As difficult as it could be to hear them say things that you thought were okay with them, it is beneficial to you.

Quiet often couples can work through their issues and stay together, in some cases, we find the stains of irreparable differences, and even in such cases, I plead room for parlance.

Every real relationship, meaning relationships where commitment, honesty, TLC and the desire to be together are at the core, should be able to have a civil conversation regardless of their issues.
It sounds like a big ask, almost like going to prison and facing the person who tore your world apart, all this in the name of closure, but if you move on thinking that you were cheated on and you had no faults, you could be doomed to go through it again.

In my experience, when cheating occurs in real relationships, it is mostly reactionary cheating, unless the relationship was based on spaghetti legs, well in that case, Jack will cheat on Jill because Jessica looked in his direction.

Many a times we've upgraded our devices, changed our fashion, learned new skills, added hobbies and activities, as insignificant as they may seem, these programme our minds to be used to change and novelty.
Hear me out, when we lose that new toy feeling, it becomes nearly impossible to revive it, hence couple's therapy exercises sometimes have an emphasis on speaking up and trying new things to keep the flame burning.

I'm in no way comparing love to a toy, love should be but can't be unconditional, because if Jill falls out of love with her body and decides to hit the gym and change her fasion style to feel better aboutherself, what makes you think that she wouldn't want the same for Jack? Or that she wouldn't want a supportive partner who goes through this process with her? Perhaps it won't be his body, or his clothes, it could be his behaviour, Jack might still be the same boy from twenty years ago whereas Jason has a new perspective that he presents to Jill, in this case, if Jill cheats, it's not only because she loved Jack any less it could simply be that her attention was drawn away and Jason capitalised.

With the hindsight of the example atop, would it be reasonable to break up the relationship simply because Jill wanted better? Or would it be advantageous for Jack to speak with her, learn of his shortcomings and improve himself if not for Jill then for himself? Even if they don't reunite, he will be well served by it.

I'm in no way making an excuse for cheating, it is a very painful ordeal and I don't think anyone should go through it with that said, I also think that if we tried to look for the positives in any situation, we could find even a speck of it.

Have I made you want to blast me with my article? I sure hope not because if we rationalise things, we could get more out of them.