humor
"Humor is what binds humans together and makes difficult times just a little less painful; Sometimes you can't help but laugh. "
Wheelchair=Excuse?
Before we get right into the story, I think it's best to let everyone know that I am a wheelchair user courtesy of former friends who thought I should "loosen up" (it involved garbage, a large fall, a butterfly net, and pigeons) and this story takes place while I was still a wheelchair user. In my junior year of high school, I was taking a gym class for the sake of earning credits. Before, my anxiety was my strength and my weakness, but one I could no longer use my legs, well, it's pretty much the same, but I had to be helped back into the wheelchair after falling out during a panic attack. On the plus side, I shared the class with the stunning and strong thespian, Roman Prince, with whom I was in a relationship with.
By Monique Star4 years ago in Humans
Unsolicited “Junk” Mail
Veronica Stanley was your textbook head over heels, reach for the moon, romantic. She grew up on the fairytale ideas of a perfect prince that would charm her and they would live happily ever after, and the whole nine yards. Unfortunately for Veronica, she grew up in the time of Tinder, and not the time of mystical lands. Tinder was a whole world of men at her disposal, Veronica downloaded the online dating app on the premise of fun and fun alone, a way to pass the time and put guys in their place who use corny, gag-worthy pick up lines.
By victoria perciasepe 4 years ago in Humans
All the Possible Trajectories of a Frozen Brownie
Sometimes the weirdest things can spark a memory. A little while ago, I just started the biannual-once-in-a-blue-moon-leap-day cleaning of my room and I came across a wadded up white bakery sack. Now you might say, "But Howard, (which would be super-strange, because I haven't introduced myself yet) how can a crummy old cupcake wrapper bring back memories?" Well, to make a short story terribly long…
By Kevin Plumb4 years ago in Humans
Your 2020 Guide to All Things Annoying. Top Story - February 2020.
Look, let’s get straight to it. We don’t have enough time anymore. Between keeping up with the voting habits of celebrities and participating in the latest viral internet trends, there’s not a lot of room left for us to get to the bottom of a lot of really serious issues. Unless it’s compacted and served via drive-thru, there really isn’t any way to stay up to date on the inexcusable things people are getting up to in the world. Hence, I humbly present The Official 2020 Guide to All Things Annoying.
By Ryan Shulman4 years ago in Humans
The Eczema Unawareness Project (short story)
forty four days from release I stand in a small, excessively air-conditioned audition room. The tiles and walls are a lifeless gray color, and to the back of the room sits the only furniture in the space: a bendable table and three folding chairs.
By Dylan Dames4 years ago in Humans
Frozen Toes
My feet had been numb for over an hour, but according to my flatmate, it was too early to turn the heating on. If anyone would like to write a dissertation on people’s responses to the cold, Edinburgh is the place to be. Frosty Saturday morning. You’re chilling on the bus listening to some tunes and boom! A woman walks in wearing flip flops and a skirt without tights. I wonder what kind of protein milkshakes she might be drinking. Party outfits are also intriguing, but let’s go back to the former-human-now-ice-cube version of myself.
By Mireia Prats4 years ago in Humans
Outside my RV
So someone tried to open my rv door while parked on the street. Again. And again. They're really trying to get in. I've heard people trying to open my doors at night before, as well as shouts and random ear piercing screams, but luckily this was during the morning because otherwise it would have been a different story altogether. I wake up and jump off my bed, shout an obscenity or two to get whomevers attention and open the passenger door and see there's a woman trying to open the RV door I rarely use. That spot is a dedicated trash bag pile I create before finding an empty dumpster to toss them in. She turns and says, "Brother!" with outstretched arms. She hugs me. One of those long hugs that feel nice, the kind you don't want to walk away from. At first glance I assumed she was a Jehovah's witness or some sort of religious person. She's wearing a weird dress type outfit, purplish blue in color, with bare feet.
By matt.the.hobo4 years ago in Humans
Ten Years Out Of High School
One of my most cherished pastimes involves flicking my stumpy thumb over Facebook’s carousel of friend suggestions. There’s no nostalgia in this. There’s no longing for the past or remembering better days — quite the opposite. There’s nothing wholesome at all about what I do. The point is to be not wholesome, to wallow in my own hauteur, to dole out my disdain across the beaming faces of the ghosts of my adolescence. That’s what draws me in while I’m sitting on the toilet or finding reasons not to be productive. Facebook calls this that section “People You May Know.” I call it “Reasons I’m Glad To Not Be In High School Anymore.” It’s with great joy that I welcome that gag-inducing row of profiles onto my feed. If I don’t have time to cycle through the menagerie, I make sure to remember a handful of posts surrounding it so I can return at a later time. That’s dedication.
By Ryan Shulman4 years ago in Humans
Journal Entry 12/25/19
Wow, okay. Where do I begin? This year has gone by in such a blur, I can hardly believe it is December. 2020 is just in a week? No. Surely it's still March or April. Maybe even September at best. This year has flown by and I still cannot wrap my head around it. It's also been a wild ride from beginning to end. I moved back home, I've been working. I got my license and a car. (Finally overcame my fear of driving!)I had a family member move out of their state and moved close to be with my dad. I dated, dealt with some dirtbags and guys who just had their priorities in all of the weird places. I laughed, I cried. I screamed and yelled and rejoiced. I got hurt and healed.
By Brittany DeWidt4 years ago in Humans