Unsolicited “Junk” Mail

Veronica Stanley was your textbook head over heels, reach for the moon, romantic. She grew up on the fairytale ideas of a perfect prince that would charm her and they would live happily ever after, and the whole nine yards. Unfortunately for Veronica, she grew up in the time of Tinder, and not the time of mystical lands. Tinder was a whole world of men at her disposal, Veronica downloaded the online dating app on the premise of fun and fun alone, a way to pass the time and put guys in their place who use corny, gag-worthy pick up lines.

What Veronica didn’t see was that her little fragile heart would actually be taken aback by one of these Tinder swipes.

Jack was his name, he was her perfect type to a tee. He was a handsome, sweet, hockey player who could make her laugh, humour was her main thing.

It started off like any other Tinder situation, you flirt you try to get to know each other on the app a little and then phone numbers and other socials are exchanged. Then you’re in this weird space of you’re not dating but you know you like each other and you talk on the phone and text everyday; the talking stage of the blossoming relationship.

After about a month of being internet obsessed with each other Jack asked Veronica if he could take her out on a date the next weekend, Veronica excitedly agreed. She couldn’t believe the bridge between wondering and finding out would soon be closed.

Veronica couldn’t sit still peeking through the blinds waiting for Jack’s pickup truck to come around the corner that Friday night. And as long as she waited for them to meet and that fairytale ending she dreamed about to come true, as quickly it ended.

Jack didn’t show. Veronica built him up in her head to be her proverbial knight in shinning armour, and he shinningly stood her up.

Veronica was hurt, she was ashamed, she deleted his number and vowed to not waste her time again with a guy like Jack.

A couple weeks go by and Veronica is watching Netflix with her friends when all of a sudden she gets a Snapchat from Jack. She was confused since all communication had ended when he decided to stand her up. She opened the snap from Jack with hesitation...and to her dismay was a picture of his penis. She completely disregarded the unsolicited dick pic and moved on with her night just thinking he was sending it to someone else and clicked her name by accident.

The next day Veronica woke up to another snap from Jack. WTF is all Veronica could think because low and behold there was his dick...again. Veronica decides to messaged Jack back at this point saying, “wrong girl..” to which he responded “no Veronica I miss you, it’s for you” EW was the only thought that came to her mind so she again just ignored it. The next several weeks Veronica was haunted by Jacks unsolicited snap pics, so instead of just yelling at him each time or blocking him Veronica decided to teach Jack a lesson.

Every time an unsolicited dick pic was sent by Jack, Veronica ignored it and instead took a picture of it with her old blackberry as to not alert him with the “screen shot” notification on Snapchat. She was calculated, and diligent.

When Veronica had about 12 pictures saved up for blackmail, she decided to wait on the last picture of his dick he’d ever send.

Jack send the pic and Veronica sent back a video of her scrolling through her blackberry’s camera roll with the caption “look familiar, if you even dare send me another picture of your dick I’ll make and instagram account with all these pictures and follow everyone you follow..you know since you love showing your penis off so much I thought I’d help you out.” Jack freaked out. All the way out. He called Veronica crying, saying he would never send a picture without consent again, and that he just wanted them deleted.

Veronica took pride in the fact that revenge is sweet and she took one for the female team, hopefully there’s one less creepy guy out there.