Surefire Signs That You Need To Rethink Being With Your Partner
Whether you recognize one of these signs or all of them, there are some key indicators that you need to rethink being with your partner.
There are certain couples that make everyone wonder why they are together. These couples fight, act cold towards one another, or keep struggling with infidelity issues - or worse. These are couples who just shouldn't be together.
Whenever anyone is around these couples, it's awkward because most people want to just tell them to break up. Or, it could be awkward because the two are on the verge of having a blowout in public.
However, if you've ever been one half of a partnership like this, you might already know that many people delude themselves into thinking things really aren't that bad. To others, though, the writing is on the wall.
If you're wondering if you're one of those couples, the following signs definitely indicate you may fit the description...
Cheating has happened, multiple times.
There's a wise saying that people tell others when they've been betrayed: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Old and common as it may be, it's still very sage advice.
It's really hard to overcome one instance of infidelity, but if your partner is a multiple-time offender, you have to wonder what's wrong with this picture. You deserve a loyal partner, don't you?
Studies have shown repeat cheaters don't change, and that means that you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of betrayal if you stay with this person. Unless you're okay with being cheated on day in, day out, you'll look for a new partner and ditch the dud.
You argue every week.
Frequent arguments are never a good sign, especially if they regularly come to screaming and shouting. Arguments, at least of the shouting kind, should be exceedingly rare.
If you find yourself arguing once a month, you may want to get a mediator or just take a step back to see what the problem is. If you find yourself arguing every week, you may want to reconsider staying with that person altogether. With frequency that high, you'd probably feel more at peace just flying solo.
Sex and intimacy grinded to a halt, even though you've tried to reignite that spark.
You can't negotiate attraction, and if you've tried to talk to your partner about this to no avail, it's a sign that your relationship is on the outs. A lack of intimacy more often than not is a sign that all the love ran out of the relationship.
At best, your partner has lost attraction to you. At worst, your partner is purposefully withholding sex to hurt you, cheating on you, or is just staying with you because of the lifestyle you are providing to them.
Either way, not having sex despite having talks suggests that your partner doesn't care about you enough to keep your needs met - and yes, sex is a need. You don't need to stay with a person who can't or won't fulfill your needs.
Abuse is present.
Hitting, berating, guilt tripping, or otherwise hurting your partner is never cool. Ever. If this happens, all bets are off and you need to get your butt away from the partner. This behavior won't change, and it will only escalate.
The moment your partner puts you, your looks, your family, or your career down is the moment you need to kick them out the door. They aren't worth your time.
Your friends, family, or coworkers have approached you asking if everything is *really* okay in your relationship on a regular basis.
If people are approaching you out of concern for you, then it's a sign that the relationship that you're in is seriously terrible for you. Most of the time, people will not say a word about significant others because they know that it's a sensitive issue which may make you angry at them.
When people are taking that risk, there's a good chance that they may be concerned about your wellbeing. This is especially true if it's even happened with strangers, social workers, or police.
Of course, you should take a look at who's asking, too. If it's a female friend asking you (a guy), it could be that she's attracted to you and wants you to break up with your girlfriend. If it's a male friend and you're a girl, it could be a similar issue. Moreover, if you have parents who tend to be very possessive of you, this could also be a reason why they're doing this.
Look at your relationship. Is it good, for the most part? Or, do you feel like you regularly have to explain away your spouse's behavior to others? If it's the latter, you may need to break up.
The kind of habits you developed while dating him aren't good - at all.
Good relationships are the ones that will bring you up and help you grow as a person. Bad relationships, on the other hand, will often come with side effects in the form of bad habits. Have you started to use drugs or spend money frivolously, when you used to be the most conservative saver out there?
If this is the case, this relationship could ruin your life. You may want to break it off out of self-preservation.
You find yourself justifying your partner's behavior to yourself and others.
It's shocking how good people are at coming up with excuses for behavior that's inexcusable. If you regularly find yourself explaining away his ogling other women or rationalizing why you let him insult you in front of your friends, you're in an abusive relationship at worst and a mediocre relationship at best.
Think about it this way - if the shoe was on the other foot, would you actually ever allow yourself to act that way with your partner? Don't stay with someone who holds their own behavior to a far lower standard than they hold yours to.
You have issues that you keep broaching with your partner, but your partner refuses to do anything about them.
A relationship is only as good as the effort that BOTH partners put into it. Try as you may, you just can't create a healthy, happy relationship with only one person putting in work. If your partner refuses to work to keep you happy or refuses to do their share, you're in a sad, one-sided relationship that is doomed to fail.
If everything is an uphill battle, you're setting yourself up for failure. It will end with you being burnt out, wondering why you couldn't keep him - and him still not caring what hurt he put you through. If you provided for your partner, he may feel bad about losing all that, but is this what you really want him to miss?
Your friends and family all seem to hate him.
There's something to be said about the opinions of our loved ones, especially if they have always been there with you and acted on your best interest. If they really can't stand your significant other, there may be a damn good reason for it
The vibe seems "off," no matter how good things seem on the outside.
Sometimes, the only reason that you should be worried is a general vibe between the two of you. Does something seem oddly forced, stifled, sad, or otherwise wrong between the two of you - even though everything looks great on the surface?
You shouldn't totally discount that feeling. At times, our subconscious can tell us things about people that we don't consciously pick up. Though it may sound stupid to do so, it may be wiser to listen to your gut than continue to date that person.
You feel unhappy with them, and happier without them.
Though there are some cases in which we may wrongly blame our partners for our misery, the truth is that, in many cases, you can tell if you should be with that individual by taking a break from them. Do you feel dread going back to them? Do you feel free and happy without them?
While it's normal to feel refreshed after a quick break from your partner, there's a difference between that and feeling a sinking feeling when you realize you have to go back to your partner.
Additionally, if you notice that your self-esteem has suffered a great deal since you got wth your partner, this is also a sign that you may need to part ways for your own sanity.
You can't be yourself around him.
Toxic relationships often make us feel worried or scared to actually voice our opinions, do what we enjoy, or even just be ourselves around our partners. The reasons why may vary from fear of a partner losing their temper, fear of them walking away, or even just fear that they may not like you anymore.
Unfortunately, you can't keep up that charade forever. The only person you can be happy with being is yourself - and if you can't be that person with your partner, you're basically dooming yourself to a future of misery.
Your partner doesn't support your career and dreams, and keeps trying to make you change your life goals for him.
Partners who do this really just don't care about you. If they cared about you and what you wanted to do, they'd encourage you to do what you need to do in order to be the best you that you can be.
If your partner regularly makes digs at your career, demands that you give up important aspects of your life for them, and tells you that they know what's best for you, you need to bail. This isn't a guy who will make you happy - at all.
Your partner regularly disrespects you.
Respect isn't optional in a healthy relationship. In order to be in a good relationship, you need to have a partner who respects you enough to treat you right - and if your partner won't do that, you don't owe them the privilege of staying with them.
While disrespect isn't overtly abuse, one often leads to another. If your partner can't be respectful, there's no hope for this relationship to flourish.
Your life goals aren't compatible.
Sometimes, the person you're with is a great human being and a wonderful friend - but that's just not enough. If your life goals are polar opposites, there's a good chance that neither of you will be happy together.
As sad as it may be, this breakup may be one of the healthiest you can have. And, there's no saying that you won't end up having a great friend after the split happens.