Love v. Respect

Love Vs. Respect

I’m a regular guy in my regular guy era. But years ago, I was stupid, had no respect, and looked for love. My goal was to be married by 26, but honestly; I didn’t understand what it meant to be a husband. I have not had a relationship last longer than a year in a half. It was not until I pulled back; I realized I lacked respect for myself and women.

Gaining respect for myself took the longest. The mental gymnastics I used to convince myself of any answer that involves blaming someone else. Instead of taking accountability for my actions.

I told multiple women I loved them, and didn't mean it. I realized it during lunch with a friend. His woman called. They chatted for a bit and in the end he said, “I love you.” She said it back. I chimed in after. Damn, it's only been like a month and it's already. “I love you.”

He replied, “I’d get no pussy if I didn’t.”

That's when it clicked. I thought about that for a long time and about my past relationships. I said I loved someone and still cheated on her. My definition of cheating is leaving the door open for someone else to enter. That is texting, flirting on purpose, “work” husband/wife, letting someone you know like you into your life, and having a backup option. I probably could list more, but you get it. Cheating is not just sleeping with someone. I did all those things. That was a lack of respect for myself and the women of my life.

When you respect yourself, you don’t tolerate bullshit. I gave out and took shit I should never have. This is dumb, but a homie told me he burps in his girl's face and asks her how it smells. I never, but, bruh, that’s offensive and disgusting. But the fact she lets him tell me she lacks respect for herself. Fuck, that’s disrespectful. I haven’t talked to him since.

Since I took the time to find my purpose, I pushed old friends away, and some family as well. It's not that I don’t love my family, I do maybe; I don't really understand what love means. But I understand respect. They show me the utmost respect. But some friends, well they go after my woman, or talk trash about me behind my back. Somehow it gets back to me, but when I needed them the most, no one was there. (maybe they were, and I didn’t understand.)

Taking a step back and observing the world, you see the broader picture. America is not a place of respect for people. It's a place of money. Money is the American god. It is the only thing people respect. It doesn't matter what you do, get the bag.

On dates, no one asks about goals and family aspirations or accesses character. What kind of car do you drive? How much money do you make? Not your family goal, or morals. But the bag. All people care about is the bag.

Andrew Tate would say I’m a loser because I drive a 14-year-old car. Am I though? Four years ago, I didn’t have a car.

Then I bought one for 1000. Sold it for 3000, and now my latest car that's around 7000. Am I still a loser? I have goals, not as lofty as his, but I have aspirations I’m working toward. Maybe some women would say that I am. But I know I wouldn’t want a woman that thought a car's age amounted to someone's worth. Or that my roommate status amounted to my monetary value.

Do I care about how a woman I date makes her money? Of course. Your partner is your representative. He represents her; she represents him. They are together. Now, if she had pictures of her intimate parts shared with the world. She is no longer a man’s representative; she belongs to the world. That is disrespectful on the highest level.

The same goes for a man. He should not have pictures of his bare body online, shared with the world. The body is sacred and when you get intimate with someone, you're sharing it with them. Someone else’s body does not belong to you. But it's a gift. My body is for my representative, not for anyone else. My standards apply to me‌ as well. I would never expect something from someone I don't expect from myself. That’s respect.

You don't find that when you're online dating. The process makes you inhuman, lacking respect in any form. You're a random face on the screen with words. When I swiped, I realized I was lusting after women. I didn't read their profile. Unless we matched, so if your picture didn’t make me feel something, I kept it pushing. Over time, I got frustrated. Because I got very few responses. I got bots and cam girls.

This process made me realize a code that I live by to this day. The law of averages. It is the most fundamental law that governs everything. For every grouping of something, there is one that is different. Example. There are 8 (9?) planets in our solar system. Only one that we know of supports life. That is 1 out of 8. Or you can expand that out to make our planet even more rare. All the stars in the sky most likely have planets orbiting them. So we can say it is one in a billion.

To me, love is unnecessary for a relationship. What you need is respect. Respect yourself and your partner. If you lack that, then don’t date. Plus, if you're not dating to find a long-term partner, you're wasting your time. Someone else is not responsible for your happiness. That is personal and everyone handles their own lives. If you're bored, you're boring.

It is not someone else’s job to entertain or pay your bills for you. Parents do that for their children. Adults pay their own bills and do not rely on someone else to pay them. Welcome to the new age where the traditional life is over.

They say love conquers all. Uh, are you sure about that? Because powerful armies conquer. Love loses the second someone points a rifle at it. Respect keeps that person from aiming. People rarely shoot at people they respect.

What happened over the last 40 years is, love became a wish and respect vanished. Will it come back without a catastrophe? I don’t know, but I will respect myself to stay away from disrespectful people.