Healing isn't always linear

A strange mistress is time. Deep down, we all understand that everything changes with time. We all understand that, given enough time, even the most intense and persistent pain ultimately goes away.

However, since we are human, we are unable to escape the present (while simultaneously remaining outside of it), and we thus perceive whatever is happening to us as a permanent condition.

Have you ever been through a breakup and thought that after a certain length of time you'd be "over it," only to discover that you were still in the middle of it and constantly replaying the experience?

In your view, nothing had truly altered, and the emotions you had anticipated letting go of you had persisted.

But at that time, we lose track of how much time has passed. We forget how much time has passed and how those things that are no longer on our minds were previously urgent concerns that kept us up at night and consumed our days.

I am at fault for this. I recall lying awake a month ago and wondering when I would get over my most recent breakup. I can still feel the memories weighing heavily on my heart as I remember doing this while wondering when I would ever be able to let go of this seemingly endless need.

Healing isn't always linear, despite our desire for it to be. Healing is frequently a zigzag path of half-formed conclusions, false epiphanies, evenings spent sobbing in bed, and late-night calls to family members. Nobody can really say when you can get off the rollercoaster ride of emotions and regrets.

Then, however, one morning you awake feeling a little lighter. You may not be completely healed (I mean, would we ever be? ), but you do notice a tiny shift in the tide, much as when a warm wind comes in from the south while you're out on a stroll on a chilly spring day.

The change you've been looking for is that warm wind. It is an inevitable result of a constantly changing world that changes with the seasons and is continually born again. Your heart may be taken by this gust and begin to mend itself.

There is no secret about it, in actuality. All of us who write articles on the five methods to do this or the four ways do that are simply restating the same advice. Not that this suggestion is bad in any way. It's crucial to cultivate good habits, make wise decisions, and alter your perspective on a circumstance.

But ultimately, I've discovered that it just takes time. I don't modify my opinions about a matter until they seem right and seem to be coming from the depths of my spirit. I've tried a thousand times to force myself to think in life-altering ways and repeat optimistic mantras, but it always feels fake to me.

These developments, in my opinion, must be genuine. They must originate from within because if they don't, our most intimate selves will reject them. When you know that true confidence in something stems from a deep conviction, from a feeling that moves somewhere in our innermost channels of being, it's like someone trying to force a political or religious stance upon you with arguments, slogans, and turns of logic.

I therefore am not here to counsel you. I won't give you the five steps to moving on from a loved one or how to mend a broken heart. We all understand what it takes to heal both ourselves and the people we love.

Time acts as a healer. Although difficult, we must learn to trust it, allowing it to transform us as it inexorably does to our life.

You will eventually learn to let things go, I guarantee it.

I'm saying this to myself as well since I don't believe I've fully let go of everything. However, I am confident that the solution will become apparent to me over time.

Keep in mind that you cannot outmaneuver time. I'll leave you with Leif Vollebekk's song Vancouver Time.