He Says He Likes Me, But He Never Makes Time for Me

Dear Tena

He Says He Likes Me, But He Never Makes Time for Me

Dear Tena,

I've been talking to a man for almost four months. He texts me every morning and every night. He tells me I'm beautiful and says he enjoys talking to me. The problem is that he rarely asks me out. Every time I mention getting together, he says he's busy with work or has something else going on.

I don't want to pressure him, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm wasting my time. Should I keep waiting, or should I move on?

— Confused in Chicago

Dear Confused,

One of the hardest lessons in dating is learning to pay attention to someone's actions just as much as their words.

It's easy to become attached to daily text messages. They create a sense of connection and routine. But a healthy relationship isn't built on messages alone. It's built on spending time together, learning about one another, and making an effort to be part of each other's lives.

Everyone gets busy. Work, family, and responsibilities can make scheduling difficult from time to time. However, when someone genuinely wants to build a relationship, they usually make an effort to create opportunities to see you—even if it's only for coffee or a short walk.

Ask yourself one question:

Is he building a relationship, or is he simply maintaining a conversation?

There's a difference.

Don't be afraid to communicate honestly. Tell him you'd like to spend time together and see how he responds. If weeks continue to pass without any effort on his part, believe what his actions are telling you.

You deserve someone who is excited to make time for you, not someone who only reaches out when it's convenient.

Remember, consistency is attractive—but so is effort.

Never settle for being someone's daily habit when you deserve to be someone's priority.

— Tena

A Reflection from Tena

Before you turn the page or scroll to the next story, I'd like to leave you with one thought.

Too often we spend our lives waiting for someone else to choose us, call us, love us, or finally make us a priority. In that waiting, we sometimes forget the one choice we can always make—the choice to honor ourselves.

The right relationship shouldn't leave you questioning your worth every day. It should remind you of it.

When someone truly values your presence, you won't have to convince them to make room for you in their life. Love isn't measured by how many text messages are exchanged. It's measured by consistency, intention, and the willingness to show up.

Protect your peace. Trust your instincts. And never allow loneliness to lower the standards you've worked so hard to build.

Sometimes the greatest act of self-love isn't holding on.

Sometimes it's knowing when to let go.

Today's Quote

"Never become so focused on being chosen that you forget you have the power to choose, too."

— Tena Kane

Today's Affirmation

Today I choose peace over confusion, consistency over excuses, and self-respect over settling. I am worthy of love that is honest, intentional, and freely given. I will never chase what is unwilling to walk beside me, because I know my value is not determined by someone else's attention.

Thank you for spending a few moments with me today. If you have a question about love, relationships, family, or life's everyday challenges, write to Dear Tena. Your question may appear in a future column.

Until next time… be kind to yourself, protect your peace, and never stop believing that your story matters.

— Tena Kane
Journalist • Published Author • Creator of Dear Tena