Dear Mr Delusional,

Dear Mr Delusional,

You say your sorry then struggling to keep up the act for five minutes. Pass the blame and then act as if you are best friends. Three words:

Communication, Trust and Honesty

The things you were so blunt about being your deal breakers for any relationship you enter. Hurt before and getting older you don't have time to play around with some girl that didn't know what they want. Yet your skeletons can't be put back in your closet and your double life lays at my feet before you. Thank you for wasting four years of my life and yet thinking I still owe you the world.

You say it was my fault. That I starved you of sexual attention yet when I made attempts to surprise you or arrange something you were more interested in playing football. There was not one day that we met due to you making any attempts unless you need fuel for your car or to borrow money for your investments. The investments and ambitions you were so proud to dream never come to past. When my success led us all over the UK, you used every chance to point out my faults. I gave you footholds out of your reach to make them ambitions something possible. That you spat back in my face.

I got no flirty messages or attempts to spark my fire, yet others got not only text messages but videos and photos. I attempt to be flirty, and I have only ever to get "cool" or "ok".

I book off time around your schedule to surprise you, my body awaiting your embrace. You want me to use my holidays and just be concerned about when your food will be ready. I send every dead relative anniversary in tears alone without so much as a call year after year. While I don't even pass your mind as you actively like dirty imaginary and pay for more porn for your personal collection.

So, I ask Mr Delusional, who was the one that made no effect towards the other one.

I sit to the side and speak your family as you never actively attempt to involve me in a conversation. I have every birthday and Christmas prepared so that you don't have to find time in-between work. I learnt a second language for you, travel for an hour to take the dog out for a walk for two hours. Just to hid that it is because you don't want to and would rather sleep after a day off. Instead, you watch me from the window after a 12-hour shift drag my feet as I try to stay awake before going home alone, despite the fact you drive.

I ask Mr Delusional, while I am being a free childminder at family events so you can relax; but refuse to give me a hug. Refuse to show your face at my family engagements or even put your head in to say hello every now and then. Am I unaffectate?

You change your story every time despite text messages and sat nav proof saying in black and white, leaving no room for any grey. Yet, you are only risking your health when you return to me and doing the deed a second time for the day.

Mr Delusional I am sorry I gave you trust and didn't see the red flags while you passed around who knows what. In the meantime, I had no other sexual partners so did not risk your health.

You say you want children there for have a valid reason, but you have yet to agree to consider trailing moving in together. Even without this how can you even consider these with no basic fundamentals sorted. How could I am I insane or selfish feeling it isn't the right time.

I don't need your bullshit anymore. I left school a long time ago you even longer. Don't you think it's time for me to stop wasting time with boys instead of men.

Goodbye Mr Delusional