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Dating Tactics

How Guys and Gals Date and some Backfires

By Shanon NormanPublished 3 months ago 3 min read
3

This month marks my first divorce and it should be finished by the end of the year. Knowing this was inevitable, I've been re-learning social media and new options for re-joining the ranks of single and dating life. It's been 13 years since I've been in the arena so I'm definitely rusty. I think I still have attractive facets to bring to the singles tables, but learning about it again after over a decade has been challenging.

Guys and Gals don't date the same as they used to 50 years ago when going to a movie and grabbing a burger afterward was considered a big deal. Or 40 years ago when nostalgic daters could impress someone new with a rollerskating rink or a hidden drive-in theater. Or 30 years ago, when meeting a new "friend" at the mall was still considered a glamourous event. Or 20 years ago, when answering a personal ad for a date was still mostly "safe" and "normal". Or 10 years ago, when going to the bar and sharing a few drinks with old or new friends, was still considered standard social behavior and not toxic or troublesome. Ah, the times do change our perceptions, don't they?

Now I'm learning to swim again at sites like Plenty of Fish or catch up with the new and improved chat boxes presented by google and facebook while still trying to avoid having too many apps that do the same exact thing on my tablet or smart phone. Why should I download TikTok if I'm happy and comfortable with the reels from Facebook and Youtube? Why do I need Instagram when I'm happy and comfortable with Pinterest? My devices can only handle so much data and if the apps do the same exact thing, I don't need them repeated. Unique features and tactics are the icing on the cakes and the competitive edges.

So I'm chatting and getting to know new people, here, there, anywhere. As my divorce is coming to finalization, I am sorting through my emotions and trying to come up with a "plan" for myself and my future. I want to be independent and self-sufficient, but I don't want to spend all my days alone. I spent enough time alone when I was supposedly married.

I think it's sorta cute and funny how some guys and gals approach dating online. Some gals get all decked up with the full make-up and sexy outfits hoping that sexiness and attraction will lure their possible mates towards them. Some guys do similar tactics, but I've noticed them get even more clever such as the guy who posts his photo with a baby as a "single dad" --- hmmmmm? It's definitely interesting for gals like me who like to feel "needed" however it does have a bit of a backfire to the tactic. Like what happened to the BabyMama? Is he divorced, widowed, or did he adopt on his own? Very important questions because that will change the dynamics of the relationship if it's meant to be long term and serious.

I guess the most important thing I have to remember as I learn how to date again is to ask personal questions politiley, explain my reasons for asking, know my true motivations and goals, and be willing to share personal details about myself that may help others to ascertain from their perspective if compatibility is achievable.

If you're like me and feel new to dating (young or have recently become single) then you probably can relate to what I'm talking about here. I wish us both luck, happiness, and strong tactics.

social mediapop culturelovehow tofriendshipdivorcedatingbreakups
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About the Creator

Shanon Norman

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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  • LJ Pollard 3 months ago

    If you ever figure it out, let me know. It's a Dog-eat-dog world, online dating is. I tried for a couple of years and never found anyone remotely interesting to even have a conversation with. Finally deleted all my accounts and feel at peace with being single. I'd like to meet someone the old-fashioned way!

  • Jay Kantor3 months ago

    Dear Shanon ~ Spot on ~ You really do have similar rants to my 'Heartsy' - Funny: But, you do tend to hang-it-out a bit more than me...! I Have tried dating sites...but, everyone was fake. Just chat sites and I canceled my credit card to sign up - Maybe I wasn't cutesy enough or too-old? See my current pic under 'Wheelchair Etiquette.' So, where do you live, anyway? ...Very lonely especially on these rainy days! btw; Currently writing inspired by YOU - "I YAM what I Yam" ~ Already have 500+ words in my draft ~ Care to co-write? Just Me 🤠

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