TELL THE GIRL

Recently I came across a video on Facebook, where a lady brings her children to her mom, saying she's tired of taking care of them and doesn't want them anymore. The situation was chaotic as the lady and her mom were both yelling at each other because the mom refused to accept the children on the grounds that it was wrong of her to do such a thing. the mom further reminded her about how she struggled to train her and her siblings as a single mom and that she was not ready to go through that process again especially for another person's child knowing that their mother is capable of the responsibilities. Despite the mom's efforts to make her daughter take back her children who by the way are no longer toddlers and were standing, helplessly watching as the drama was playing out. I could only imagine the thoughts in their minds seeing and hearing their mom say the things she was saying all because of them. Apparently, their mom is also a single mom and wanted to do away with them just because she met a younger lover who just wants to travel around the world and enjoy life with her and for her, the only thing standing in her way is the children she has to take care of and so she came up with the idea of dumping them for her mother for as long as it takes.

Now, this post is not to judge anyone as being a mom can be overwhelming sometimes and she knows and understands her situation better than anyone else. However, after watching that video, I took some time to think about the situation and all I could make of it is the fact that we need to teach the girl child better starting from Pregnancy:

The girl child should be taught in detail what to expect from physical changes, emotional changes, nutritional and lifestyle changes, and prenatal care so she would learn to make necessary adjustments and she should be reassured that no matter how hard it is, it's okay and worth it!

She should know in detail the Labor signs, pain management, and labor stages, and again, she should be reassured that it's all Okay and worth it.

The girl should be told in plain words about the challenges of breastfeeding, sleepless nights that come with caring for a baby, postpartum self-care and recovery, postpartum checkups, and birth control so she gets pregnant again when she is ready.

Lastly, the girl should know that her life will change forever and be more of giving love and making sacrifices the moment she welcomes a baby and that there is nothing anyone can do to change that.

This when thought well to the girl child, will not only help her make informed choices about being a mom or not, the number of children to have and when to have them, but It will also help her brace up and live up to any challenge that may come knowing that she made an informed choice earlier. Also, it will enable her to understand better the importance of bearing a child, loving them wholeheartedly, and being able to make sacrifices for them .

Studies have shown that children with traumatic childhood most times turn out to be problems for society and so I think we can collectively combat this incidence by teaching the girl child right, a mother who understands her role in the life of a child should know that her child comes first even before herself and she owes him love, care and protection and shouldn't abandon her children over someone that can decide to live anyday and having the child suffer the trauma of being rejected by the one person he expects to receive the most love from.

It is also our collective duty as a society to ensure that these are well understood because taking myself as an example during the times I went for prenatal classes, I can't remember any time it was mentioned that my life would be more of making sacrifices the moment I have my child even when birthing a child itself is a huge sacrifice. so I hope we can all do better to let the girl child know and understand.