I love my dad. I love the job that he did getting himself to America. I feel like he lived through more than most people could ever understand. He was a first generation Nigerian immigrant escaping genocide and civil war to find his way to America. GENOCIDE, and CIVIL WAR. Like at the same time.

I will say that not all poor have my integrity. There are plenty of groups of poor children, mostly boys, that will gladly pick your pocket. There's also prostitutes; not courtesans, you understand; that will steal more bills from a man's wallet when he's asleep. They call it necessity while I call it a bad decision.

When I first addressed this issue to my parents, they teased me and claimed that I was overthinking. But can such a serious topic be considered excessively? As a child of divorce and emotional abuse, I would have to disagree.

Hey, you know when you are growing up in life, you think, "I will be okay." I have been raised by a wonderful family, I can accomplish whatever I want. Wow, do you ever have to step back and take a better look at where you have been? Where you are? Where you are going? You wind up being confused, scared, with a lot of doubts, amazed at how easy you "thought" it would be. When you get out of high school you think you have planned it all out. Oh yes, going to get a great job, a cool apartment. Hang out with friends and family. But, then you have rent, utilities, a vehicle, insurance, food, laundry, ugh. Where on earth did all this come from? Oh yes, lol, life.

I live in San Francisco, which is under a mandatory shelter-in-place order – together with the San Francisco Bay Area, 6.7 million of us are hanging out at home.

Over the past weekend, many parents across the country got the news their children's schools were finally closing for an undisclosed period of time. The school my kids go to was one of them.

Disclaimer: This is a subjective piece so please do not take it as fact. Having said that I have done my due diligent research on the situation.

2020 is a crazy world these days. Who would have thought that the world we know could change so fast and so brutally? I can honestly say that this whole pandemic and panic we are all experiencing is so scary.

Twice a Refugee

The title is basically my vocal story or journey summed up in 3 words. I am a young female Pacific Islander who grew up in the suburbs of south west Sydney. Growing up I had gone thru my own adversaries from separation of family, drug abuse, failed relationships and just down days where I felt sorry for myself to the point where I was numb. I come from a big family. I would call us the Brady bunch as there is 3 boys 3 girls and both my mum and dad.

It's a long story, but means the world to me. From a young age she became the town's famous young mother. Big brother's wife they called her. In our language they called her "fofo sron". That was her joy. To be the iconic lover in her home town was a dream come true. She was full of passion, joy and kindness. She had dream and she was dedicated to it. When she sits down to tell the story, she shed tears or sadness and joy. This is a good story. She said " I was everyone's little helper and I was very happy to do their errands. Fast forward, I never knew that thing things would change so quickly". She continues telling us children her childhood story. "I have three bothers and two sisters. We are a family of eight in total including my mother and father. As we the children were living our young lives, we never thought about what tomorrow was going to be like or how we were even going to get food. Our father and mother provided for us and all we have to do as kids is carry the products home and help mum cook." Joy as she calls it continued for her and the family until one day without realising, everything collapsed. the joy she once knew has fallen and in a instance the family's life became hard and crazy. Suddenly the little girl found herself occupied by survival instinct 24/7 for the life of her family. fofo sron was no longer a name of joy for her.

I was a girl feeling that I was in a different world because everyone I went to school with had a mother and I had a father that I loved but wondering where is mine? I would open my eyes and there she was late night visits and smelled like alcohol, none the less I knew I had a mom. My character was more like my dads fun but yet serious in a way but loved the magical and fun things a girl can do but had no one to do them with I was highly creative and 80s style was my style. My mom did love me she just couldn’t get out her pain and it ruined and tore her apart. I got older and after my dad passed when I was 18 I finally got to hang with my my mom still hard to say mom I called her by her name and she would get mad but I was not used to it! She was such a giver regardless of her life decisions. And after she passed I was angry that I never had a chance to be a kid with a mom a real mom you can ask girly things to but I became a rebel till my dad passed and when she passed I was still feeling empty because my friends would tease me with thier mom. But she was so caring and fun to be around at times when she’s not poring her emotions out or blaming others. I realized. ok dad and mom are gone. I was giving like my mom people took advantage of the pain an took till I had no more to give I said no I’m not ending up like my mom putting myself last made her days get lesser by the day till she was gone I stopped it all I started saying no to what didn’t serve me I started changing and seeing good things are meant for me too, I couldn’t burden myself in not having a mom to do cute things with or get advice. So I was getting closer to being like my mom and didn’t want to point fingers of why I went so low when I did deserve better even though I had nothing else to live for there had to be a reason I was here, yes I didn’t have what others had but I learned to appreciate the little I did have allowing me to feel others pain and be giving to the ones that are in pain like me and not do it because someone is forcing me to give because they think I’m less but I’m not and said thank you mom I learned from you in heaven that I need to care about me because no one will but myself and if I started to love myself enough I would not end up dead young, because people didn’t care how much you gave they took it and left you dry. So she showed me to not give your all when you haven’t given yourself enough!