Bad habits
Sober Super Bowl
What a nail bitting game!! I don't normally watch football, I am always there for the drinks and snacks. This year however I couldn't help but watch. My whole family is made up of 49er fans, so I was just here supporting my dad. I really thought they were going to win, but right at the last few seconds the Chiefs came in and stole the game! It almost felt like a movie. I am very proud of myself though, I stayed sober and just enjoyed myself. One of the best part is I will remember the whole day, instead of only the first part and waking up feeling horrible tomorrow.
By Kimmiekins43 years ago in Confessions
Love is a Many Splendored Thing
You have quality ears And a high-end nose. Grade A meat on your bones. I once worshipped whoever I was with. The writing above is an entry in one of my journals about the primary in my first polyamorous relationship. The anesthetizing effect of love on my bipolar brain is well-documented in my writing and therapist’s notes. Monogamous or polyamorous didn’t matter to me at first. What mattered was that I had someone to call my own. I wanted to have a person like a possession. I wanted an object to admire, to use when convenient, and to ignore when it suited me. Of course, I never would have articulated my desires in this way. It sounded more like “soul-mates” or “they’re my everything.” It was romantic hyperbole. Love-bombing from a disordered brain. I would knock you off that pedestal as quickly as I built it for you. I wasn’t properly medicated for my bipolar disorder until I was twenty-seven, so every relationship before that was marred by the whims of my dysfunctional mind.
By kp3 years ago in Confessions
11 days
I am so proud that I have made it 11 days no alcohol! Yesterday was so chaotic in my house I felt like I just couldn't catch a break. But I kept pushing through and keeping myself busy with little things. I finally made myself a therapy appoint, so that will be on the 19th of this month. I was actually on Instagram yesterday and an account I follow shared a website to search for therapist. I felt that it was meant to be so I went on there and searched for people in my city. The first person I saw on there caught my attention, and seemed perfect for my situation. She specializes in dealing with anxiety, depression, and past trauma so I am really hopeful that this will work out. I am going to be paying for it out of my own pocket which I know will be a little more pricey but I have to try something. I have tried going through my insurance which honestly was such a bad experience that I almost wrote off therapy all together. Then I tried better help, and I did actually find someone through them but she ended up leaving 4 months after I started. I feel blessed that I am even able to do things this way, as I know there are so many that can't. This is why I always want to share my story and let people know that if they ever need someone that I am here. I have sometimes felt so alone in life in general and throughout so many of life's journeys, and I don't want anyone to ever feel that way. Just know you're never alone.
By Kimmiekins43 years ago in Confessions
I Am A Problem. Content Warning.
Introduction I know I am a problem for most people. I see it every day on Vocal and Facebook, or I think I do. Since before Christmas, it has been made clear that my work is not good enough and there is nothing I can do to rectify that.
By Mike Singleton 💜 Mikeydred 3 years ago in Confessions
CAN CELL PHONES MUTATE YOUR BODY???. Content Warning.
What if cell phones were so powerful that they could mutate the shape of our bones? This is a surprising new topic that's recently been popping up all over the media. It stems from a scientific report suggesting that using phones and tablets can cause serious and long-lasting changes to our bodies, not in the way you might think. In the past few years a study has been carried out by David Shahar and Mark Sayers who specialized in biomechanics at Australia's University of the Sunshine Coast Biomechanics looks at how mechanical laws apply to living organisms from how humans run to how insects beat their wings. Shahar and Sayers's study also involves osteo biography which is used to work out what someone's life was like from their bones. It's been known for some time that skeletons adapt to a person's lifestyle every set of bones tells a story, for example, some enormous skeletons were found on the Pacific island of Tinian in 1924. Stone structures in the vicinity of the skeletons explained the substantial nature of the island's bones by working with heavy stones they had naturally developed bigger arms legs and collarbones and over in Australia. Shahar and Sayers believe that modern tech is shaping young people's skeletons.
By Paloma Writes3 years ago in Confessions
Reflecting and Healing
As I am writing this (kind of late as usual...but hey it's just about to be 11pm so I am making progress LOL) I am 9 days without alcohol. When I say I am feeling all the feels, I am feeling EVERYTHING. A YouTuber that I follow is actually quitting alcohol as well. She made a Instagram post today and a quote she used was "you have to feel to heal." I really love that, because it's so true. No matter if you drink, or do anything else a lot of times we are trying to numb our feelings because it's easier than feeling them. Today I was doing a lot of reflecting on when I started this journey truly for the first time 5 years ago. I began to realize so many things and why I was so unsuccessful staying sober.
By Kimmiekins43 years ago in Confessions
Peace has enemies
Even peace has enemies, there are some people out there who definitely don’t like peace, so isn’t it arrogant of you to think you won’t have enemies. I don’t think there is anybody since the history of creation who hasn’t been controversial or can’t be, everybody at some point makes enemies, regardless of your actions or words sometimes. Somewhere, somehow, someone already hates you either because of your ethnicity, race, nationality, religion, skin color or even gender. I am guessing that’s just the beauty and diversity of the human nature, it would have been pretty boring if we all just got along easy-peasy without any problems.
By real Jema3 years ago in Confessions
One Week No Alcohol!
Well I did it! I made it 7 whole days and not one drink of alcohol, even with temptation in the house. I am very proud of myself, as a lot of times when other people drink I tend to as well. I tend to have a fear of missing out when it comes to things like that. I just wanted to let you know if you're on this journey no matter where you are, thinking about starting, I am here for you and I support you. We got this, and sometimes we have to take it one minute at a time when things feel too overwhelming.
By Kimmiekins43 years ago in Confessions
Lie To Me. Issue #2 As It Was. Content Warning.
Ok. I have only ever recounted this story one other time. Whenever asked about this Era of my life from my family and my friends I always keep the details to myself and just stick to the Who/What/When/Why & Where. With this in mind please understand that I will be changing names, dates, and for the sake of keeping this story to a readable length certain event(s) will be shortened or bulleted. I will do my best to answer any questions that may arise. Thank you for reading about the worst experience of my life.
By (JERJ) Thudd Walker3 years ago in Confessions
Things feel different now
I first want to start by saying a huge THANK YOU to all of your support on my "Back to Square One" post! To everyone one that took the time to read it, read and comment, even subscribe to me, it means the world to me and you will never know how it's truly helping me. This also made top story and I am honestly speechless, I just couldn't be more grateful. Thank you everyone again from the bottom of my heart.
By Kimmiekins43 years ago in Confessions
What you are up against
I think it will come as no surprise for me to say that the world is evil and corrupt. It doesn’t take much to shift into the dark side, far from me to justify the evil people do, but that decision sometimes is one of survival or greed. It's a lot easier to be an evil person than it is to be a good person and so many people make that choice when enough pressure is put on them, I don’t think there is anyone who intentionally likes his life to be difficult, so it takes the battle to the moral ground.
By real Jema3 years ago in Confessions
