Sober Super Bowl

What a nail bitting game!! I don't normally watch football, I am always there for the drinks and snacks. This year however I couldn't help but watch. My whole family is made up of 49er fans, so I was just here supporting my dad. I really thought they were going to win, but right at the last few seconds the Chiefs came in and stole the game! It almost felt like a movie. I am very proud of myself though, I stayed sober and just enjoyed myself. One of the best part is I will remember the whole day, instead of only the first part and waking up feeling horrible tomorrow.

I felt really fortunate to that my family decided to not drink also, and I feel like that really helped me keep my mind off of even wanting to. I've also found a live streamer on TikTok that streams live at DisneyLand and she happened to be streaming today so I was able to watch that in-between the game. It's been really positive for me on that stream. I've started meeting new people and have become apart of their community. Between that, and the community I am building on here I am just feeling a lot better and am grateful for everyone's love and support!

This is of topic of the Super Bowl but I did have a moment of realization today, and that I am finally healed from something in my life. Over the course of the last few months so many truths have been coming to light about my previous ex. I saw something today that normally would have broke my heart, yet this time I felt nothing. The universe really was looking out for me by guiding me to all these answers. It allowed me to really let go of every lie he ever told me. But when I thought about where I was with this situation a year ago, even the woman I was then is almost unrecognizable. I was still so caught up in the lies, and wanting to see the good that I was losing myself while trying to heal him. Looking back I just wish I could hug that girl and tell her you are worth more than this. I know I need to go through this to learn lessons, and learn to love myself more. But it still hurts to think about.

This feels so big to me because this is the first time I really worked through and felt what I needed to way sooner that I have with relationships in the past. But even this went on way longer than it should have. But regardless I am proud. I am also realizing it taught me the signs to look for earlier, and to not trust people just by the beautiful words they say. I look at what is being said now, and if their actions aren't matching then I will walk away silently. I am no longer chasing, or begging. In your eyes if I am not enough for you that's okay, I don't need to prove it to you. I know my worth now more than ever, and I won't ever let someone make me forget that again.

For the first time, in what feels like ever I am finally thankful for the lessons instead of asking myself why me, because as cliche as it sounds everything does happen for a reason. It's taken me quite sometime to see the reasons for a lot in my life, but ever single thing has shaped me into who I am now. Even my drinking, while I don't know the whole reason that this happened I do know it's for a something. I hope you all have a wonderful day/week! Just remember you're never alone, and you got this!