Mae McCreery

Story time, y’all gather round. So, I’m an asshole. I accepted that when I was about 12, the day I accidentally broke a vase at my uncle’s house. He asked me why I did that and I replied:

In High School, I was sitting in my Spanish class with my best friend before class started. “Do you have a Tylenol? My cramps are horrible today.”

I am under no illusions that I am a straight up f***ed up individual. I’m an asshole and I will laugh in your face if you trip in front of me, and I expect you to laugh at me if I fall on my face while laughing at you.

Dear 2020, you have ruined my sex life and I had PLANS for this year to improve it. I hate you. Sincerely, a lot of people this year.

This year has been a f***ing show, okay? It's been so bad, I've started using Gen Z vocab, bet. I'm a millennial, for context reasons. Currently in a weird but no commitment relationship that my family don't understand and still in college getting a degree that they don't understand either.

"Go on, give me a smile." "You'd be prettier if you smiled." "Give us a smile, beautiful." "It would be more professional if you smiled."