Feeling your creative self slipping away in the rush of life? Every day is a new set of responsibilities that leave us with little time to do all the things that matter most. We are torn between creating the life we really want while still continuing to "adult". I'll admit I've let my creative self wither away due to feeling unmotivated and not putting what I love into practice on a daily basis. My writer self kept being forgotten in the midst of the chaos. Every creative person knows that without practice the skills we once knew get harder. I, as a writer, left this blog alone for nearly a year without writing a single word. I had purchased a computer that would allow me to write effortlessly. I had all the tools at my fingertips yet I used it to waste time watching Netflix, and YouTube or scrolling endlessly on social media for hours at a time when I could've spent that time writing and creating content that would matter to people. How do you keep yourself from distractions so that more of your time is spent honing your art, music, writing, photography, etc?
Jennifer Jess is an exceptionally talented independent songwriter and musician from Atlanta, GA that’s taking the world by storm with her heartfelt lyrics, strong voice, and pure passion for the music she creates. Her latest single released to Spotify and other online music retailers is titled “Me First”- an introspective, acoustic piano version with strings that is easily one of the most beautiful tracks to date. The beautiful-crafted lyrics “So I’ll strike the match and watch it burn, say goodbye or better or worse. For once in my life I put me first.” will strike a chord in your heart. I fell in love with the song due to that verse.
Everyone knows how life can truly be a rollercoaster. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's scary, and sometimes it's everything in between. What do you do when everything is all happening at once and you can't catch your breath? If you're like me you probably start to go into a depression or forget to breathe. Your thoughts take over with "everything SUCKS! I can't do this! Why me? Why is this happening? I can't go through this again!" Those thoughts can be intense and debilitating and downright scary. And after those moments of life where you think you can't handle anything more something amazing or incredible happens and you are once again excited and can get through your day or week or year.
This is the story of my bout with severe depression and a longing to be free from it. I want to warn you first that the story is true and that it may contain triggering words. Please read at your own risk. This doesn't end in tragedy. There is a silver lining in all this.
I am not a fearless woman. Let me be clear, I have always been scared to express myself for fear of my thoughts being thought of as irrelevant, or unimportant. I fear that if people know that this is my weakness they will use it to attack me. I have always tried to express myself in such a way that people will understand but have fallen short in some way or another. I truly want people to listen and understand me. I will be in a room and feel completely invisible. People will talk over me and disregard what I have to say as unnecessary or trivial. My fear is that I will be invisible.
People always tell you that the first step is always the hardest. I do believe that this is true. Telling stories, writing about life challenges and giving others inspiration by writing is my goal but I never believed I was a good writer. I've been riddled with self-doubt for a very long time and could not put my fingers on the keyboard and let those creative juices out. I had words trapped inside my mind, screaming at me "Let me out!". I didn't listen. I ignored my passion completely and didn't do anything to get better at it. I scrolled endlessly on social media, watched Netflix and YouTube for hours, or took a nap. All of these actions didn't contribute to my writing and held me hostage. I reached my breaking point. What was I going to do about this overwhelming fear of what I loved most in the world? I would write. "Write like you're running out of time"- Hamilton