25 years old fan of poetry and literature
Bookworn and a teacher
* Be the change you wanna see in the world*
I lie there looking at the sinking Moon far in the horizon as she disappears marking the end of a warm and wild night.
Somehow we look at our guardian stars wistfulness and hope for the next day or other amethyst nights spent embraced in lust.
*following Whole - chapter 1 - part 1* I didn't know how long I had been daydreaming, when a man came and sat on the bench opposite to mine. I glanced, a very quick look, just enough time to absorb every feature of his gorgeous face, before I felt my cheeks turn red, forcing me to stare at the floor. I was not looking at him, but I could definitively feel him undressing me with his eyes, sending a shiver down my spine, like a wave shattering every wall I had been building throughout the years. At this moment, I felt naked as never before, despite all the clothes I was wearing, and it totally unsettled me.
Long time did we spend, showing pyrites and telling false promises to each other. We kept secrets, hidden, dancing in the deep heart of mine. Without mercy, did we hurt each other, faking happiness with pink diamonds shining as a mask to our darkness. We said sweet goodbyes, or bittersweet ones, I hoped for healing hearts to hold the pieces, to blow the pain away, but all I could see was a storm, grey blue skies tormenting in my mind and the trouvaille of loneliness. I wanted to hear the call of the night the skies breaking with horrendous sounds, terrifying the daisy chains away, the only color left in life, I wanted it away, I craved the dark and silence an amaranthine divine disaster to shatter my soul, to send me away to the other side of life. I was going home, the one in the dreadful corner, in the dark emptiness, with nothing but music and memories and no sign of resurrection. My entire heart was a tropical fog, heavy, unbreathable, oppressive, I would never tell what was next though as I traveled longitudes of time I died a little bit more at each step. The rainsong in my heart stopped playing, torn between past love and stormy lightnings here was I, at the edge, the cliff of life was like a magnet, I saw a fall filled with promises, the flowering beauty of dark and devils the growing fernweh, travelling in the high seas of oblivion. No kiss of faith nor fields of red poppies only the midnight black skies, the unknown, a broken heart made of stars and murder ballads to guide me, a deadly rhythm and blues, to push me into death.
The American dream ... who doesn't want one day to walk in the streets of the Big Apple, to witness the wonderful sunsets in California, or to have your breath taken away by the view at the Grand Canyon ... but ... in reality, what should you expect?
4 am – yes 4:00 – it was what my alarm said in a flashy pink color I adored when it actually showed 6 am and not some ridiculously early time of the morning. I bet it had been simply another shitty night during which I had remained sleepless. I had stopped counting them, not only because I had lost count of them, but mostly in order not to be more depressed than what I already felt. It was quite usual for me to wake up during the night, it also explained why I owned more books than clothes. When I couldn't sleep, I used to read, and read, until I fell asleep again – when it actually happened. It was my escape. It gave me some hope. I'd never been someone who believed in fairy tales. I'd learned when I was quite young that fairy tales didn't exist. Reading gave me a way to be someone else, another person with a perfect life in a world where everything ended well. I envied these girls with perfect curves, a social life and an handsome man they weren't supposed to meet.
Breathing and dancing on the day of the dead Sweet november arising on a night next to a brush fire I can smell in the air the scent of hotel tombs
I always rise and fall, fall, and rise again everyday, a new chance for either. I promised myself to never let go close, or distant daydreams.