Die-hard cynic and sarcasm aficionado. Home of long form shower thoughts and unmedicated psychosis. Enjoy.
Retro Rumination - Mentos, ''The Freshmaker''
It doesn’t matter what comes, fresh goes better in life, with Mentos fresh and full of life! Nothing gets to you, staying fresh staying cool, with Mentos, fresh and full of life! Fresh goes better Mentos freshness Fresh goes better with Mentos fresh and full of life! Mentos, the freshmaker!
Is It Immoral to Get a Pug?
Yes. I know this isn’t a subject that I usually cover and my previous articles would lead one to assume dogs are the bane of my existence, however, I feel like this is an issue that needs addressing. Plus, this’ll count as my good deed of the week.
Retro Rumination - Sugar Crisp Cereal
Welcome to the most delightful day of the week, Monday! I know, I know, you're probably thinking "Oh great, another boring Monday." But don't worry, I'm here to shake things up and make this Monday a little more bearable. And what better way to do that than by taking a stroll down memory lane to a time when life was simple, sugar was still sugar and our taste buds were still functioning.
1 Medium Pizza But Hold the Arm Hair, Please...
Friday night, the best night of the week. The possibilities are endless. If I wanted, I could get on a plane and fly to Budapest. Or have a whirlwind affair with a club bouncer. But instead, I’m here, standing in line at one of my favorite places. The pizza shop. I’m with my friend from work and we’re both looking over the menu and discussing whether this time we’ll try something other than our regular order even though we know that won’t happen.
10 Bucket List Items for Non-NPCs
Greetings peons! So, lately, I’ve been contemplating the fragility of human mortality and my train of thought led me to bucket lists (naturally). I’ve never been the type of person to write down a list of things that I’d want to accomplish before I croak. Mostly because I would probably forget about the list and because I don’t view my life as an ultimatum where I have to check off an arbitrary activity/goal to feel self-actualized. I just like to vibe, you dig?
And by the sound of it, there’s probably also a bit of elephant in their lineage. Living with loud upstairs neighbors can be an absolute nightmare. I'm not usually one to complain, but this particular issue is an exception. There’s nothing closer to hell on Earth than being trapped underneath the constant cacophony of footsteps and excessively loud talking, which is more often than not coupled with snore-filled nights, followed by the smell of stale cigarettes and pizza that permeates through the walls every morning. I’ve never wished for a generous sugar daddy more than in those moments. If you’re not a trust fund baby or working in fintech, this is most likely your present reality or has been at some point.
“British food has a lot of depth and flavor that is often overlooked.” — Jamie Oliver Lol. Ah, British cuisine. The butt of many jokes, the bane of many a traveler, and the source of endless misery. It’s time to set the record straight: British food is bad. As a self-proclaimed foodie who has spent years traveling the globe and indulging in all manner of culinary delights, I can confidently say that British food is, without a doubt, one of if not the worst . I mean, where do I even begin?
5 Reasons Cats are Better Than Dogs
Ah, yes. Here were are again about to once again tackle a debate as old as the universe itself. Some people would have you believe that your affinity for either household companion is dependant on a number of subjective factors like personal preference, lifestyle, income, etc. But those people are plebs who probably pour their cereal in after their milk.