…You shouldn’t be scared to seek help.

What is the one most common phrase you may have heard, being a woman? It definitely is always, always related to the body. A woman, no matter where she stands in her life, will always be given that extra nod if she looks good. Being anything far from the societal standards of beauty can make your life a living hell, in the form of comments and well-meaning statements that are only to tell you you are ugly! In a world obsessed with flawless skin and slender bodies, there are a few who are making the world a better place by lending their voice to the body positive movement.

Are you finally using a menstrual cup now in an attempt to favor an eco-friendly and clean alternative? Then we welcome and congratulate you! Surely you are excited to experience the much-praised benefits you get when it comes to using a menstrual cup.

Those that know me well understand that hoop earrings are a big part of my aesthetic. For example:

She Ain’t Pretty (Thank god)

A friend of mine and I were talking about politics, social injustice, and a lot of other current events, and he asked me, "Why do women try to portray themselves as very strong? Why do they do so much? Are they trying to prove themselves? Do they feel as though they must prove themselves? I need to know." Now me being a male, I am, of course, the wrong person to ask those types of questions, but I'm glad he brought it up so I could tell him what I thought. Til this day, the matter is still circulating: "Do women still have to prove themselves?" Through statistics and many real-world workplace experiences, sadly, it seems the answer is yes. There are many stereotypes/cultural norms regarding women in the workplace that may even justify why women feel as if they're obligated to prove themselves more, stereotypes such as: They're less equipped and experienced than men in the workplace, or that they'll leave or become distracted at work for family reasons. There are some stereotypes outside the workplace, like women are just people with crazy mood swings who are also always on their period, they can't fight cause they're women and fragile, they're needy, or they can't amount to anything substantial. Through it, all women rise and defy the odds, and show that women are just as high, if not far greater than, the man next to them and so on.

Today, Toni Morrison transitioned from living legend to ancestor.

This piece was originally published on Medium.

Summer is here, and that means it’s time to go to the beach. Everyone loves that wonderful ocean smell, the way the sand feels between your toes, and the warm sun-kissed glow a day at the beach gives your skin. Beach-going is glamorous, fun, and a perennially summer thing to do. I mean, who doesn’t love sipping drinks near the sea?

Before I got pregnant, I thought that all of the "New Moms" in my circle were intentionally going out of their way to cut me out.

New York Women in Film and Television (NYWIFT) had its 20th annual Designing Women Awards gala on Tuesday, June 11 at the acclaimed Directors Guild of America Theater in New York City and was once again a motivational celebration. Co-presented by Variety, the event recognized and celebrated extraordinary women behind-the-scenes, renowned make-up artists, hair stylists and costume designers for their achievements, talent, and vision in the entertainment industry.

Menstrual Hygiene Day brings to light the importance of feminine hygiene, and therefore brings attention to all the women around the world who may not have access to the hygiene products they need to be healthy and comfortable. As a woman living in America, I often think about how privileged I am in many ways, but I don’t think often enough about those women who don’t have these basic necessities. I hardly ever think about the fact that I am so privileged to be able to have my choice of what kind of hygiene product I will use, while some women do not have any options at all, let alone enough to get them through their cycle. Many girls in developing countries do not even have access to accurate information regarding feminine hygiene. There are brands out there who are on a mission of good, brands like Intimina who will educate people on women’s hygiene products and even donate proceeds and products to someone who needs it.

I’ve experienced a lot throughout high school. I’ve had drama between friends, annoying teachers, and don’t get me started on the crowded hallways.

The African National Congress Women's League has called for few recommendations on how sexual offenders should be dealt with. The recommendations include: life imprisonment without parole, no bail, and chemical castration.

So I'm writing this post for people who don't know what it's like being a survivor of sexual misconduct, but maybe knows someone who was a survivor. Sexual misconduct is an umbrella term for any act like rape and sexual assault. I will not pretend to know how everyone else handles sexual misconduct, I can only speak for myself and the stories I've heard.

She Ain’t Pretty (Thank god)

Sitting in my kitchen, so nervous I was shaking, I decided to shave my head. I remember all the weeks I had paced about within the confines of my mind, rolling the idea around like marbles, popping the 'yes' and 'no' in and out of the realm of possibility. Around this time, I had suffered a tremendous breakup, and in my acts of stress, I resorted to my cyclical shaving and dyeing and re-dyeing and growing... and found myself with about two inches of growth, and pastel pink locks.

For those of you who don't know, I am currently working with Queens and Future Queens (a non-profit organization determined to assist young girls in becoming future leaders through mentorship programs consisting of female CEOs, CFOs, etc. of big companies as well as inspirational speakers, artist, etc.) to create an event called Champions for Change Leadership Awards 2020. Now one of the things I needed to do was find empowering music for women to feature at the event and I found one song that really made me think. The song is "Strip" by Little Mix.

What is the one most common phrase you may have heard, being a woman? It definitely is always, always related to the body. A woman, no matter where she stands in her life, will always be given that extra nod if she looks good. Being anything far from the societal standards of beauty can make your life a living hell, in the form of comments and well-meaning statements that are only to tell you you are ugly! In a world obsessed with flawless skin and slender bodies, there are a few who are making the world a better place by lending their voice to the body positive movement.

As we sat at the table, my friends picked my body apart. They told me I used to be more “bootylicious," that I was skinny that time I returned from that trip, and that my mother compared me to a pin.

I’ve struggled with my body image for years. Even when I was tiny I thought I was fat, but this is not a story about body image in the usual sense. It took a lot of years of breaking emotionally and mentally for me to finally figure out that my self image isn’t mine. I was molested when I was 3 years old, and from that point on, I never felt comfortable with my body. I remember I would never undress in front of anyone, and when my mom had to bathe me I felt filthy, unpleasant and unusual. I was a child with body image issues. I grew up this way and no one understood; instead, family members made fun of me for it... I finally told my mom about what had happened and I think I was 5 years old by then. She tried to hide her pain but I could see it in her eyes as she told her sister. There was a family meeting and true to patriarchy and the burden of family, she was told not to lay charges against my cousin who had done this to me. I was taken to a doctor to get checked up and I suppose I was alright physically, but mentally and emotionally, I’ve carried the shame and disgust of my own self from the moment it happened...

A few years ago it came to our attention that female statues of actual, real women who lived (have a name and birth date) were underrepresented compared to the men. The media coverage seem to be focused on New York City. I started researching the entire United States to see how many I could actually find.

"If only you'd listened to us, none of this would have happened."

Well I’ve finally done it folks. I’ve finally went off and started an official site of my own dedicated to the women I’ve penned about here on Vocal. This is actually kind of a scary thought to me, if I must be frank. Why? Well, the internet is a vast machine of barking bloggers, it’s a saturated platform, and it’s very easy to get lost in the sauce. Still the key is time and patience (of which, I have none, but I do have persistence and determination in spades, so there’s that…)

For many years, for some reason, women were not recognized as "driving" the society in terms of their careers. Fortunately, the narrative has changed for the best for women like Roberta Annan. Women were not as extroverted as they are today for various reasons. They are now in very good positions throughout the world, although some have had a difficult time before they reached their heights.The fact is, it has never been as easy as a pie for Annan, as she exceeded the depth of philanthropy with a bigger position as a leader. Her hard work has not been in vain.

I started modeling when I was 18, just a few months after I had given birth to my first child. I was married then, and my husband at the time was in the Army. I wanted to build a life more than just being a stay at home mom. That title didn't seem fulfilling enough for me.

A bare stage. Slowly, a single pool of light to the far left side lights up. It is a perfect circle. Gradually, the intensity of the light brightens, threatening to blind us for a moment until it dims down to tolerance. We wait for a minute until a second pool of light comes up in line with the first on the right side of the stage. This does the same as the first light, brightening with much intensity but then returns to tolerance. Finally, the last pool of light glows in between the others far upstage and center, to reveal the silhouette of A NAKED MAN standing in a tub of water. His back is turned to us. The NAKED MAN can be a father, a brother, a lover, a rapist, or a photographer. We don’t know. What we do know is that the light he is in doesn’t get brighter. It just obeys the laws of darkness, and is barely lit, leaving the man in an uncomfortable night. From stage left, A GIRL walks in backwards, holding an empty leash in her left hand and a basket in the other. She seems to be looking for something, or searching for someone—perhaps the animal that belongs on the leash, or the food that belongs in the basket. This too, we do not know. What we do know is that the basket is white, and the leash is white with red. Both were made to be white, but a crimson design lives on the collar of the leash. The crimson is blood. A GIRL steps into the first stage left pool of light, and blinks eight times in an attempt to clear her vision. She inhales deeply. The sound of her inhale is magnified, and the tiny breath can be heard from six directions. A DRUNK enters from upstage, passes the NAKED MAN, and joins the GIRL, dressed in an elegant evening gown made of green silk. Her wet hair hangs on her cheeks, and she appears to be very pregnant, stretching the delicate fabric too thin around her swollen belly. The two speak.

There have been a lot of articles saying that woman collect DNA from every man they ever slept with (even in their brain), all of these articles seemed to be case off of one study which... isn't exactly about what I thought it would. For one, the study does not once mention sexual intercourse as a potential reason why woman may carry 'male' cells. If anything, the study suggests that these 'male' cells are from their sons. Yes, sons! Mothers who have carried baby boys for nine months. Another theory mentioned that these 'male' cells came from an older brother, which they also while they were still in the womb. So... NO! These stories about gaining DNA from every man you have had sex with is still yet another mis-use and inaccurate use of scientific research targeting woman with a sexuality because... sexism!

We all want to believe that a rapist is an undeniable monster. A person who is so easy to pick out in the crowd for being an undeniable creep. They are that stranger in the dark alley or lurking in the bushes. Some despicable man with no semblance of soul or care for other human beings that lives to attack women because he couldn't be with a woman otherwise.

It’s no secret that "feminism" is something of a dirty word to a lot of people, to the point that “feminist” can be considered an insult (Waugh 2015). But where does this come from? Is the movement that started with women getting the right to vote (Ruiz) and progressed into fighting against environmental destruction (We Rise; Kapoor 2015; Ruiz), capitalist oppression (We Rise; Red Letter Press 2007; Kapoor 2015; Ruiz), and racism (We Rise; IWDA 2018) really such a terrible thing?

So for those that don't know, I am an Ismaili Muslim and, like the Christian concept of Sunday school, we have religious education on Saturdays. Now the teachers are expected to go through training to ensure that we teach the students facts and accurate information, rather than opinions or perspectives. However, when I went into this training I realized that there was a fault in the training itself. Within teaching the facts, we somehow twisted the perspective based on emotional bias. When I was pitted against the trainer and the other teachers trying to explain my perspective, I felt something inside of me shift. The perspective you teach the students, regardless of the intent, does impact their view and emotional outlook on life because your emotional outlook on life will end up showing.

Growing up I never gave much thought to the word feminism or the works of feminists. Instead, I believed that feminism wasn’t needed since women in contemporary Western societies had more freedom now than at any other times in history. My beliefs about feminism were informed by the readily available stereotypes circulating in society that characterize feminists as angry women, man haters, ugly women, outspoken women, and many other negative descriptive words. Listening to the connotations surrounding feminism, I was convinced that I wasn’t a feminist, for ‘I didn’t hate men, I wasn’t angry, I wasn’t ugly; I was contented.' All this further confirmed what I already knew: that I wasn’t a feminist. Moreover, none of the people I surrounded myself with claimed to be feminists, so labelling myself as a non-feminist made perfect sense.

A friend of mine and I were talking about politics, social injustice, and a lot of other current events, and he asked me, "Why do women try to portray themselves as very strong? Why do they do so much? Are they trying to prove themselves? Do they feel as though they must prove themselves? I need to know." Now me being a male, I am, of course, the wrong person to ask those types of questions, but I'm glad he brought it up so I could tell him what I thought. Til this day, the matter is still circulating: "Do women still have to prove themselves?" Through statistics and many real-world workplace experiences, sadly, it seems the answer is yes. There are many stereotypes/cultural norms regarding women in the workplace that may even justify why women feel as if they're obligated to prove themselves more, stereotypes such as: They're less equipped and experienced than men in the workplace, or that they'll leave or become distracted at work for family reasons. There are some stereotypes outside the workplace, like women are just people with crazy mood swings who are also always on their period, they can't fight cause they're women and fragile, they're needy, or they can't amount to anything substantial. Through it, all women rise and defy the odds, and show that women are just as high, if not far greater than, the man next to them and so on.

We all know the girl code. Regardless if it was taught to us or we simply learned it as we grew up and heard "Don't you know the girl code?"or "It's part of the girl code." An internationally known code that was never written in stone, and never truly verbalized, but universally followed. And the girls that broke the girl code? Shunned and isolated. A code created to protect us from getting hurt or betrayed. One based on the ethics of the young girls that created it and followed it.

I am a mother, I am 31.

…You shouldn’t be scared to seek help.

Are you finally using a menstrual cup now in an attempt to favor an eco-friendly and clean alternative? Then we welcome and congratulate you! Surely you are excited to experience the much-praised benefits you get when it comes to using a menstrual cup.

Menopause is an inevitable stage in a woman’s life that brings about an array of physiological changes that are responsible for significant alterations in mental and physical health. Menopause causes levels of estrogen and progesterone hormones to drop, resulting in a variety of changes that many women dread. With the multitude of significant shifts that women experience during these stages of life, it is not uncommon for some women to turn to drugs and alcohol to cope with physical changes, emotional shifts, and pain that is likely to occur during these times. Unfortunately, some women fall victim to addiction during menopause.

This Changes Everything is new in theatres and should be required viewing for all women, girls, and anyone in the entertainment industry. Tom Donahue's discussion of the lack of female representation behind the camera is well-structured, compelling, clear, and concise. Though it doesn't necessarily tell us anything we haven't been hearing for years, it’s (hopefully) still enough to get people listening. It reiterates that men outnumber women in film in almost every department and, while the Me Too movement has pulled many peoples' heads out of their asses, we still have a long way to go before the representation on a film set matches the demographics that represent our society.

She gazed out her office window and sighed. She had no idea how she was going to handle her workload today. Those she supervised had their own cases to deal with so there was no dividing her work among them. Normally when she walked into her office, she made herself a cup of tea and jumped right in. But this day, a nagging headache made her too tired to even pick up a file. She opened her desk drawer to get an aspirin. But the bottle wasn’t there. Then she remembered: She took the aspirin bottle home the day before with the intention of purchasing a new bottle. She must have forgotten. Jane Wisdom left her office to walk to a store on Barrington Street to get some aspirin. It was December 16, 1917 in Halifax, Canada. Jane pulled her coat around her as a chill breeze surrounded her on her walk. The scent of the harbor wafted along that breeze: the smell of water, smoke, and iron from the ships passing through the Narrows, the strait connecting Halifax Harbour and Bedford Basin. Though she was 1.8 miles (3 km) south of the Harbour a clear, cold day like today carried the scents throughout Halifax. Like most people who lived and worked near the harbor, Jane was accustomed to the sights, smells and sounds of the ships that traversed the waters. At precisely 9:04:35 AST (Atlantic Time Zone), just before she reached the drugstore, Jane lost her footing as the ground beneath her shook. A tremendous boom! reached her ears amidst the shattering of glass storefront windows along the street. She cried out and reached for a wall to keep herself from falling. Born March 1, 1884, Jane was influenced by the Social Gospel of her Presbyterian upbringing. The Social Gospel focused on utilizing social involvement to assist those in need, such as the impoverished and those suffering alcohol abuse. She attended McGill University in Montreal and got a taste for professional social work. Though social work was well established in England and the United States, it was still a new concept in Canada. She attended Columbia’s New York School of Philanthropy to earn a diploma in the field of social work. She took her diploma and knowledge back to Canada. She worked for the Montreal Charity Organization, helping families assess needs and resources. She was offered a position as secretary general for the Halifax Welfare Bureau. The first thing she did was to create a social welfare agency consisting of charitable organizations in the area. Ever hands-on, she continued working individual cases and supervising other workers. The scene around Jane was utter chaos: people running, crying out in fear and pain: glass shards from broken windows littered the street and sidewalk. Whatever had happened had thrown everyone into a panic. Instincts prevailed as she ran to a man who had fallen nearby. She attended to a gash in his forehead, watching as smoke began to drift over the city. A new smell entered the atmosphere: the acrid scent of smoke from a fire. Her first concern was for the people of Halifax. Just from those she saw on Barrington Street, many of them needed medical attention. Some were on the verge of hysteria. She could only imagine how many more people needed assistance in the area. She knew the world was at war. Was it possible Halifax had been bombed? But the blast Jane heard had not come from a bomb. Two ships had collided in the Narrows: a Norwegian vessel, the SS Imo and the SS Mont-Blanc, a French cargo ship loaded with high explosives. The impact of the collision damaged benzol barrels on the deck of the Mont-Blanc. This released vapors which ignited during the collision, setting off an explosion aboard the ship. Structures within a half-mile radius were destroyed. Pressure waves from the blast snapped trees, bent iron rails and grounded ships. A tsunami created from the blast entirely wiped out the Mi’kmaq First nation living in the Tufts Cove. Fragments from the Mont-Blanc were spread for miles. Two thousand people were killed. Nine thousand more were injured. Upon learning what had happened, Jane was numbed by the realization that, had she been in her office, she would have been killed by the implosion of the glass windows beside her desk. But she knew there was no time to lose. She was the only trained professional social worker in Nova Scotia. Gathering more than sixty local charity workers, they created a food distribution system, depots for the distribution of clothing and blankets and applications for food and coal. Jane worked tirelessly for the first twenty-four hours after the disaster, organizing workers for distribution of supplies and to go street-by-street making lists of survivors and their whereabouts. Those first twenty-four hours following the worst disaster on Canadian soil were critical in the recovery of the people of Halifax. Jane’s efforts brought attention to the need for relief efforts – not only in time of disaster – but also relief to those in need in general. It was Jane’s belief that a social work system should help create jobs, assist with education and medical needs, and help with recreation for the indigent. A broad scope of social work such as this had not been achieved, but her vision formed the foundation upon which modern social work is based. After the Halifax explosion, Jane worked as a Supervisor for the Rehabilitation Department of the Halifax Relief Commission, organizing Community Houses for survivors of the explosion. In the years after the Halifax Explosion, Jane worked as the director of the Halifax Relief Commission’s Social Service Department. She acted as liaison between the local charity sector and the more official governmental side of charity work, enabling them to benefit from each other. She worked on the Nova Scotia Provincial Commission focusing primarily on women’s issues: Mother’s Allowances and wages and working conditions of women in factories. She eventually returned to McGill University where she was an instructor part time of the social case work in the Department of Social Science and School of Social Work. She then worked for the Women’s Directory of Montreal, specializing in the care of single parent families. Ending up in Glace Bay, Jane studied the social conditions in the coal mining town. She remained in Glace Bay as the town’s first social worker, developing their program of social services. She retired in 1952 to Sutherlands River, Pictou County. On December 16, 1917, Jane Wisdom was in the right place at the right time. For want of an aspirin. The historical portrayals are fictionalized, powered by pure imagination. Pen is a published author with 30+ titles to her credit. A biography of Jane Wisdom is included in Legacies and Legends, Women Who Dared to Make History, Volume 1. Please also visit Nero’s Fiddle for more books by Pen.

This is the first in a series of biographies I will be writing about women from all walks of life and time periods. I'm open to suggestions of women I should write about.

The birth control patch is one method of birth control that uses a release of hormones to prevent pregnancy. It is a beige patch that is stuck to the skin. The user wears the patch for a week before replacing it with a new patch. This is done for three weeks in a row and then a week break is taken for menstruation.

I decided to buy my first collection of affirmation cards and I ended up choosing one called She Believed She Could, So She Did byPeter Pauper Press Inc. However, I realized even before buying them that I can't see all of the cards that come inside. Since I took the chance anyway and had them delivered to my doorstep, now it's my turn to let you know what cards come in this pack and what I thought about them.

For the sake of this article, I will be using she/her pronouns, but it is important to note that periods and menstruation occur in people of all different genders and pronouns.

In this day and age, we need to relearn what consent is. In the Netflix show 13 Reasons Why, one of the main characters (Bryce) said: "I could tell she wanted it and she didn't exactly say no." That's such a young guy way of thinking, and some men never grow out of that. They can't wrap their minds around why women don't want sex with them all the time. Men also don't understand why women don't want sex to be the focus of a relationship. You will not die if you don't get sex when you want it. Not every girl is going to want you... shocker, I know. Now I know not all men think the way I just described. There are decent men out there. It's not just men that need to learn about consent either, we all do.

It happened to me about 4 years ago. I just got out of my first relationship and I went back on a popular dating site (I won't name it because it may not want to be associated with this). About a week later I started to talk to a guy who lived about 30 or 45 minutes away. This new guy and I met a few days later. It went well but at the end of the night he touched me and I didn't stop him. I think that's where the ball started to roll in his head about what he would do next to me. So we saw each other the next day at a park near my house. At dark we sat in my car talking. One of the last things he did was touch me down there; I wanted it so that wasn't the assault. This is going to sound weird, but I think when I consented he thought my consent overrode the times I would say no. At this point it all seemed normal. I felt like I found a good guy.

"If tomorrow, women woke up and decided they really liked their bodies, just think how many industries would go out of business."—Gail Dines