You are not alone. Together we can de-stigmatize speaking out about our experiences with sexual harassment, assault, and more.
It’s OK To Be Rude
The first time I was harassed, I was barely thirteen. Standing outside the grocery store where my dad was helping my grandma choose some things to bring back to her apartment, I waited with our new puppy on the sidewalk. It was busy and hot, the sun battering the pavement and the exhaust from cars clouding in the air. A man older than my father approached, petting our new puppy without asking. He then launched into a speech about how pretty I was, followed by an onslaught of questions begging to know my address, my phone number, my age and whether my parents were around. I told him I was just thirteen. He laughed, but was not dissuaded. I noticed how his eyes lingered in uncomfortable places for longer than I wanted them to. As he leaned close to me, I caught a whiff of alcohol from his faded t-shirt. Eventually, I ran inside.
No, Ladies-- You Are Not Responsible For Spelling Out Basic Boundaries In Order To Prevent Being Assaulted
I'm going on my first date (since before the pandemic) this weekend, and I'm having a lot of feelings about it. And not the feelings that I want to have.
Don't Hide Under Blankets
Trigger Warning - Sexual Assault When you’re hurting, you’re usually hurting a lot of people around you. I sure as hell did that, and I’m sorry.
What is MeToo? & How did it Start? You must have read about MeToo in TV and NewsPapers, and if you are present on Social Media then you will definitely know about MeToo, which has created panic not only in India but all over the world. But a lot of people know, what MeToo is and It is not known how the beginning took place.
My passion is helping others who need help. Not just any and everybody. I help survivors and victims of human trafficking, sex slavery and, prostitution by showing them how to help themselves. I help them with family reunification, obtaining transitional housing, drug/alcohol rehabilitation programs, life skills/employment training, parenting classes, physical/mental health assistance, counseling, therapy, and tattoo (branding) removal. We do much more, together.
“The Happy Hooker”
I was sexually assaulted. At the age of sixteen, one of the school football jocks, in my ceramics class, forced me to satisfy his ‘needs’. I did not know how to manage the traumatic aftermath. Nightmares by moon kept sleep restless and disturbed, while inescapable images slammed through my head like a freight train; leaving me exhausted, paranoid, and completely helpless from sunrise to sunset. What he had done, caused me to die inside that day. He had taken away my dignity, self-respect, and spirit. I had lost faith and trust in humanity, but more importantly, had lost faith and trust in myself. He had scared my voice right out of me and somehow, I believed, this was my fault.
I was still young enough to have to go on holidays with my parents. My mom, however, did not come. We went to New York for whatever reason, I can’t remember why. It was May and my grandmother always said New York in May is the most wonderful thing. We stayed at a near to fancy hotel apartments called Affinia Gardens on the Upper East Side. I think it was on 64th and 6th .
Learning How to Enjoy Sex again
I had dealt with being a victim of rape so many times, that after a while I put walls up, refusing to let anybody get near me, even females. Sex was bad, dirty, always violent and whether that person loved me or not, I started to perceive all sex as assault. I couldn't bring myself to see any sexual relationship as loving or fun anymore, because every time I did, I got hurt, and here I want to reinforce that I was raped by both men and women which caused my fear to double, and for many years, I cut both out of my life, wanting to be alone for the rest of my life so that I didn't end up used as some female adult dirt-bag.
A Glass of Merlot
It all started with a glass of merlot… I was actually looking forward to tonight. My first date in four years since my husband of 25 years had died unexpectedly from a heart attack while at work. I was a little nervous as it was our first meeting, but then, we had been communicating via text and email and then phone for the past month so I felt I knew him pretty well already. Yes, we met on one of those dating apps which I’m a little embarrassed to admit. Having married my high school sweetheart and had a wonderful marriage for 25 years, I never thought I’d be out there dating again, let alone looking online to meet my potential next great love. To say I was apprehensive about online dating would be an understatement but in today’s electronic age and with the new COVID pandemic guidelines in place, how else are you supposed to meet somebody? So, despite my apprehensive, my loneliness took me out of my comfort zone and I decided to give it a shot.
I was Sexually Assaulted.. Shouting My Story to the World
There is something important I need to address. Throughout the last couple of years I have noticed that people have been using their platforms to speak their truths on sexual assault in the industry (#METOO), work place, homes, etc. I’ve always considered myself a courageous, confident, outspoken women, except for when it’s come to this topic and my personal life.
He Destroyed My Home.
I am writing the following story because I want to let go of something that has made a deep impact in my life. Organizing my endlessly scattered thoughts works best for me when I write them out, so here it goes. It is no secret that I often speak my mind, but I suck at communicating about the really, really, deep things that torment me. I have gotten better but every day is still a struggle. Just to sort of set the stage, I will start off by saying that I am diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder Type 1 and Adult Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. My story of my experience plays a particularly important role in my mental health. It diminished my ability to communicate, to heal, to be strong and courageous for myself. It turned my entire world turned dark. I have been described as unpredictable, out of control, impossible to manage and crazy. I have been told that I am a monster, and my life is worthless. I have been told that I destroy everything I touch. I conditioned myself to shrink for others, to not upset or defy them. I stayed quiet and bottled everything inside. I smiled and said, “it’s okay”, when really, I just wanted to scream and beg for someone to make the pain stop. I accepted toxicity into my life because I believed that it is what I deserved. Every single person I have ever met knows a completely different version of me. The versions of myself constantly change, as is life. And as a result, I am a variation of factors. Yet, there are only 3 people who know me entirely. Every single secret. Every single insecurity, down to the last detail. Every single emotion, mood swing and trigger. Every single thought and opinion. Every single amount of excruciating emotional and mental pain. Every single trauma. Everything that has damaged me. These 3 people's influence on my decision to finally share my story with the world will be mentioned in my following story. I had held a secret inside of me for 7 years, one that I thought I would never be able to face. I denied it all these years, repressing it so far that I eventually did not think about it at all. All it took for me to finally accept the truth was seeing a stranger’s face in a bar, increasing self-awareness and the compassion, and understanding of very 3 important people. I have finally realized how important I am, not in a cocky way, but in the way that I matter. My story matters, my healing matters, my life truly does matter. I am not staying quiet about who I am and why I am the way I am anymore. And because of this moment of clarity, I am ready to speak about something that happened to me when I was 18. Something that I tried so hard to forget, but ultimately could not escape. This is my story about the night someone stole what was mine.
Not all Men but All Women
TRIGGER WARNING OF SEXUAL ASSAULT: Especially on Tiktok, I have been seeing the news about Sarah Everard and what happened to her. If you don't know, according to the NY times, Sarah Everard was a young woman who was raped and murdered by a police officer in the UK. You can read further about the story here: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/17/world/europe/sarah-everard-uk.html