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10 Bucket List Items for Non-NPCs

Reddit Dive

By Burn BookPublished about a year ago 4 min read

Greetings peons!

So, lately, I’ve been contemplating the fragility of human mortality and my train of thought led me to bucket lists (naturally). I’ve never been the type of person to write down a list of things that I’d want to accomplish before I croak. Mostly because I would probably forget about the list and because I don’t view my life as an ultimatum where I have to check off an arbitrary activity/goal to feel self-actualized. I just like to vibe, you dig?

Anyways, for every person like me who is bucket list averse, there are about 10 others whose toes curl in ecstasy at the idea. I was curious about these people so, I decided to do some field research. My first top was Pinterest. I got bored pretty quickly though. Apparently, skydiving and bungee jumping are mandatory for all bucket lists? JuicyJennySparkle89xoxo was just not giving me the type of creativity that I craved. I guess I’ll stick to using Pinterest for keto recipes. But where on Earth could I find a group of divergent thinkers to satisfy my needs?

I headed straight to the epicentre of memes — Reddit.

I encourage you to grab a bowl of popcorn and prepare to be amazed as we dive into the weird yet wonderful (and often surprisingly wholesome) bucket list items that have been shared by the denizens of the internet. These bucket list items will have you saying, “Why didn’t I think of that?”…or “Why would anyone think of that?”. Either way, enjoy the ride.

I want to poke lava with a stick. People make fun of me when I tell them. — MisterOn

I feel like this would be deeply satisfying for some reason. Sort of like stepping on a crunchy leaf.

I have always wanted to pee on lava. Don’t know why, just sounds fun — Semper-Fido

An interesting variation. I wonder what happens to pee at 300 degrees? I think I prefer the first one.

I’ve ridden and trained horses most of my life, so I want to train a cow to be ridden one day. Just for shits and giggles really. — Pennigans

Why DON’T we ride cows already?

I want to buy a lot here in Chicago, build a fence and plant a ton of cherry blossom trees. Then I want people to stumble on my secret garden for years and years to come. — Whybambiwhy

This is one of the most wholesome things I’ve heard in a long time.

I want to just happen to walk by a kitten stuck in a tree and save it. I just want to die a hero. — SlightlyBiased

Me too, SlightlyBiased, me too.

Play a dead body on some kind of CSI show. — lasttimewasabadtime

I wonder what the audition process would look like?

I want to flip a table. I don't mean walk into my own backyard and knock over my patio table, either. I want to get worked up enough that I can dramatically flip over a fucking table and leave the room. — Danthenyell

I feel like flipping a whole table is a lot easier in theory than it actually would be in real life. Maybe I could just smash a plat instead. OPA!

I want to spend the day with an elephant. Go for a nice ride, take a swim, wallow in some mud. — partial_to_dreamers

Elephants look super chill whenever I see them. I think they’d be a good time.

Shoot down an Amazon delivery drone. — Anonymous

What did the Amazon delivery drone ever do to you?

I have something similar, I want to go to a renaissance fair dressed like a cybernetic super soldier from the year 2146, and I have returned to destroy some relic. This relic is the cause of a war in the future. Then I would be all serious about looking for it on day 1.Then, on day 2 I would announce I have failed but I will remain in the past, and try to teach them the ways of the future, in exchange for giant turkey legs and soup. — kilo353511

This sounds like the premise for a 90s movie. I’d probably watch it.

You know what? If more bucket lists looked like these, I think I could actually get behind them. Let me know if you can add anything noteworthy to the list.


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About the Creator

Burn Book

Die-hard cynic and sarcasm aficionado. Home of long form shower thoughts and unmedicated psychosis. Enjoy.

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