Author shall remain nameless
Bio
These words are meant to be read by anyone & everyone. I am writing for my own sanity, I am relinquishing years of guilt and shame that was uncalled for and undeserved. I am writing to free my soul.
Stories (14/0)
Turn on, tune in and drop out...
I feel like a lot of people are starting to not only recognize the defects of character within our society but that individual responsibility is really the only way to truly lift the collective to that next level we all seek and crave, yet somehow are still afraid to admit to. Humanity in general is riddled with envy, anger, frustration, disappointment and pain. The best thing about this fact is the opposite of these feelings are wonderful and abundantly available to us, only we have been programmed to live and operate in fear because we are easily controlled when working from a scared and helpless stand point.
By Author shall remain nameless2 years ago in Motivation
1,2,3,Go...
Water, Breath, Food, Shelter, Love and Music; as far as I am concerned no human can thrive without these basic necessities. Each serves its own very important function in humanity and society and its deplorable that not everyone has access to all of these without cost. Music is why I am here today. I am a recovering alcoholic who recently found out the best way to heal is to actually ALLOW my emotions to do their job, notify me something doesn't sit right within. Intuition, gut-feelings, heebie-jeebies, getting a "notion" its been called many things but it's your internal GPS for all things YOU.
By Author shall remain nameless2 years ago in Motivation
"I'm sorry" vs...
Loving people is and can be very hard, ego is constantly offended if let roam freely. I am learning how hard I can be to love sometimes and how hard it can be to accept and forgive someone their ego, flaws, character defects whatever you want to call them. Honoring our humanity while straining to remember we are divine beings living in a rented unit is the most challenging and rewarding process I've encountered so far in recovery.
By Author shall remain nameless2 years ago in Motivation
The institution of marriage...
I am tired and not really stoked on this wedding based on the previous night's bullshit between myself, my man-child of a boyfriend and the groom needing a place to crash last minute. "I just wanted to help a friend"... last I checked "friends" don't impose on one another especially when there is no emergency and you don't want to drive to the marina or pay for a hotel.
By Author shall remain nameless2 years ago in Motivation
"I do" and I don't
This is the continuation of the previous wedding to be story.... The nuptials were taking place on Saturday evening, as I write it is Sunday morning. Wanted to get it out while it's all fresh. My boyfriend and I had no plans for Friday evening and had decided on a quiet night at home. We ate dinner, harvested some plants from our garden and enjoyed the process next to a nice little bonfire. We had the full moon light glowing over us and worked in silence, all in all it was fantastic. Around 10:36 is when I went to bed.
By Author shall remain nameless2 years ago in Motivation
Apparently it's wedding season,
I will be attending a wedding this weekend, it's not my first as an adult but it is my first being sober. This couple is a friend of my boyfriend's and I've known the groom as long as I've known my guy. The bride and I have since become circular friends. What I mean is; we are by proxy to our male counterparts going to be around each other at gatherings so it's better to make nice. I get along with most people so this isn't the issue.
By Author shall remain nameless2 years ago in Motivation
Making amends...aka...
You can call it making amends or taking ownership of personal actions or giving sincere, heartfelt apologies along with changed behavior patterns, call it whatever, but it was the scariest thing on my list of steps in recovery. When this step came around (Step 8) I had already admitted out loud how shitty I had been to friends, family, etc. now I had to face these people if and when possible to apologize and do whatever it took to amend the wrong-doing? Oh, please no, it wasn't enough to just say "Sorry" and move on? I had done lots of damage emotionally and abused friendships financially for which I had to atone.
By Author shall remain nameless2 years ago in Journal
Investing in the future
Investing....you've most likely heard of the term referring to the use of one's earnings to make even more financial gains by risking and playing Wall Street. Stocks, bonds, 401k's and IRA's, etc. This, however, is not what I will be talking about. These sessions will be letters to my son and anyone else that could use the experience, strength and hope within my stories.
By Author shall remain nameless2 years ago in Journal
Your S/O's friends, Pt.2
So this is the follow up article and it's juicy! Turns out my boyfriend thought it would be funny to take the bumper sticker from his Jeep and put it on my car. We will cover my meltdown and near polite decline text regarding their wedding, a little bit later. Gotta provide some further context, well, how did the sticker end up on his car in the first place? Surely that's not a thing? " Save the date" stickers? and now as I type this I realize this was the plan all along, his friend has a tendency to deface his "friends" property in the name of humor when it's really just him being an asshole that doesn't clean up after himself. Rewind, back up, travel back in time with me to last week, Wednesday or Thursday. His friend now lives an hour+ away from us (which has been a blessing in itself). He moved in with his fiance and helps her run the family business which involves vehicles.
By Author shall remain nameless2 years ago in Families
Your S/O's friends
My partner and I have a long and complicated past, made messy with alcohol use disorder on my end, being dishonest/unfaithful and other things neither of us is proud of. We have since addressed and continue to work on our defects of character as they arise. I find myself pretty damn agreeable to most people since I spent 20 years in the service industry and have had my run-ins with assholes, bullies, entitled dickheads and sexist jerks alike.
By Author shall remain nameless2 years ago in Families
