Andrea Jardine

Even before COVID-19 spread and the whole world was put on hold, I felt lost, stuck and alone. Two weeks before Premier Doug Ford declared a State of Emergency in Ontario, Canada, I turned 40. To say I was dreading this particular birthday is putting it mildly. I outright ignored it. I’m single, childless, living in my sister’s basement, overweight, working a thankless job that pays slightly more than minimum wage and buried in debt. This is not how I pictured myself turning 40. I didn’t think things could get worse. And then the quarantine happened.

During a pandemic, it’s easy to drown in my sorrow. I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety for the past twenty years, which makes the limited light fade to black rather quickly and heavily.

The acrid smoke

Failure is the most beautiful gift

I eat and eat and eat

Her descent into darkness