We've got to talk. Let's begin with a statement you recently made. You were being interviewed, pretty casually I suppose, and the reporter asked you about the naughtiest thing you've ever done. Remember what you said? No? Let's recap: "I mean I have to confess, when me and my friends used to run through fields of wheat, the farmers weren't too pleased about that." You chuckled a bit. It was slightly nauseating.
Before I begin, no, I’m not from the UK. I’m from the U.S. where human rights and freedom plays an important role in our country. Despite the fact that my family was from the Middle East, Turkey to be exact, they’ve all come to the United States to gain the freedom they couldn’t have back in their country. Since I’m first generation here, I couldn’t be any more thankful to live in such a great country and gain human rights to be myself.
I know that you’re having a tough time. Your job is probably the most difficult and thankless in the whole country, and yet it is also coveted by those you should be able to rely on. I say that it is the most difficult not lightly; because jobs of comparable complexity and status have largely gone overseas. And so you are left to sort out this mess, and what a damned fine mess it is.
With a swift yet pugnacious jostle from the relative stability of being one of the top ranked nations within the European Union, the Conservatives have once again cast Britain into the throes of emerging from an avoidable situation, most notably one that would have maintained said stability, as well as economic prosperity. The contemporary word is Brexit.
There's a slight possibility that you've lost touch with your congenial side. Similar to someone I know, your citizens have begun to make a mockery of you and all justifications that come with your murky rhetoric. The people are concerned you lack the comprehension of empathy, which is necessary in the vicious battle between law and morality.
Dear Mrs. May,
As conference season gets started you, Theresa May, have a serious problem if you're unable to unite conservatives: Jeremy Corbyn. And I hope you don't. The Labour leader has higher leadership ratings than you, and by most accounts, would be a more decisive and inclusive leader. I'm sure it upsets you that a no-name old lefty, who is classically anti-war and anti-nuclear — something you love — is surging in the polls since the summer, threatening to dump you into political exile. What has happened since your election, you were once so popular? Brexit has divided your country, and even more so, your party. In through this little gap has slipped your greatest challenge yet, likely tougher than any political battle you have yet fought at a time where your political capital is evaporating. Not a great time to be you.
Or rather, what’s in your name? In yours, there’s a litany of puns just waiting to be made. For every policy you discuss, every decision you make, every stand you take, there’s a May-based epithet hurled upon you in headlines, hashtags and everything in between. Like it or not (and really, who would?), the nicknames you’ve been bestowed thus far are equal parts clever, obvious and, in most cases, deceptively enlightening. To name just a few...
I'm not from the UK or even Europe at all. I live here in grand ol' America (sarcasm emphasis on grand), though I do come from Europe (born, but not raised, in Moscow, Russia). I've heard a lot about you, both from the other Dear Theresa pieces on this site and in the news. I kind of know what Brexit is, and I know that most people who believe in the same things as me don't like it.