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Dear Theresa...

by Joseph Farley 5 years ago in politics

Make way for Jeremy Corbyn.

Dear Mrs. May,

As conference season gets started you, Theresa May, have a serious problem if you're unable to unite conservatives: Jeremy Corbyn. And I hope you don't. The Labour leader has higher leadership ratings than you, and by most accounts, would be a more decisive and inclusive leader. I'm sure it upsets you that a no-name old lefty, who is classically anti-war and anti-nuclear — something you love — is surging in the polls since the summer, threatening to dump you into political exile. What has happened since your election, you were once so popular? Brexit has divided your country, and even more so, your party. In through this little gap has slipped your greatest challenge yet, likely tougher than any political battle you have yet fought at a time where your political capital is evaporating. Not a great time to be you.

Corbyn is like a bearded Bernie Sanders, a self-described Democratic Socialist who is threatening the system, and in your case — unfortunately Bernie couldn't break through in ours — I hope he is successful. This might be hard for you to believe, but people like economic populism and don't like paying through the nose for a pint. Even more, they hate Nuclear war. Also, what's so wrong with a little socialism? So a few prices might be controlled by the state, but is it that much worse than prices being controlled by Amazon — kind of like in America? How much do you truly know about your closest competition, Jeremy Corbyn?

Corbyn got his start in the trade unions, hoping to get his countrymen and women a better, more livable wage. Ever since getting into government, he has been known for his activism and rebelliousness, voting against the whip of his own party, most notably during the reign of Tony Blair. This is the kind of vision and lack of respect for the status quo you lack, and those who aren't wealthy will continue to suffer under your stale policies. He has voted against austerity cuts, not wanting the public to suffer the brunt of a government poorly run. In fact, he wants to greatly increase public spending for things like roads and transportation — regular people ride the tube Theresa! Did you know any of that? Well, you should, the man is breathing down your neck. In the 2017 General, the man won 40 percent of the popular vote, netting the Labour Party 30 additional seats.

Now, your Brexit comments have been quite vague, and I suspect that this is a huge reason your own party is unsure about you. The entire world is waiting on your plans for Brexit, if you even have any. What is the plan Theresa?It is decision time, and you will need to make decisions, however hard it might be for you bring your cabinet along with you. Do you want a Nigel Farage Brexit — a Britain where everybody speaks English, drinks warm beer, and loves football. Or a Boris Johnson Brexit, a more “global Britain." Or maybe a more Corbyn one, where you're outside the political structures of the European Union, but the rest of Europe remains by a mile your most important economic and trade relationship? In many ways Jeremy Corbyn has outplayed you on this issue, as elections are generally about one side that wants the government to do a little more and one side that wants the government to do a little less. Britain should already know which of these sides you are on, and what you plan to do, in part over your lack response to Brexit — more of nothing.

Good luck to you,



About the author

Joseph Farley

Joseph Farley is a North Jersey based writer who loves short fiction and stand-up comedy

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