Unpacking The Baggage: How Self-Esteem Shapes Personality

Self-esteem is so important at doing its job, we tend to take it for granted without realising its effects. It emerges from the core beliefs we have of ourselves - whether negative or positive, confident or insecure. Thus our self-esteem influences the development and expression of personality traits within us, based on the impact of past experiences and our self-perceptions of ourselves. It follows that low self-esteem often stems from the negative beliefs we have relating to our emotional state, like feeling inadequate, worthless, or unlovable, Yet the twin aspects of self-esteem could not be more different.

First of all, when self-esteem works well, we tend to feel competent and worthy as high self-esteem can lead to traits like optimism, resilience, and emotional stability. There is also:

Confidence and assertiveness: The belief in our ability and the courage to express ourselves authentically. A positive self-image can fuel motivation, leading to goal setting, perseverance, and a sense of accomplishment.

Empathy and compassion: The genuine care for others and a willingness to connect with, and support, them.

Resilience and perseverance: Being able to bounce back from setbacks and maintain a positive outlook, despite the challenges.

Openness to new experiences: The willingness to explore our environment, opportunities and options, and grow without fear of failure.

Healthy relationships: The ability to build and maintain strong connections based on mutual respect and trust. High self-esteem fosters better communication, empathy, and assertiveness, contributing to more positive relationships.

Low Self-Esteem

On the other hand, low self-esteem, not surprisingly, has a negative impact on our personality which can manifest itself in various ways, such as:

Anxiety and fear: Like constant worry about being judged or failing, leading to social withdrawal or avoidance.

Impaired decision-making: A noticeable lack of self-confidence can lead to difficulty in making decisions or taking the initiative. Low self-esteem often fosters indecisiveness, fear of failure, and susceptibility to manipulation.

Aggression and defensiveness: Personal attempts to mask vulnerability and insecurity through anger or hostility, often with the need to control situations and others to compensate for feelings of powerlessness.

Depression and hopelessness: A pervasive feeling of worthlessness and negativity that can impact motivation and overall wellbeing.

Social withdrawal and isolation: Negative self-perceptions can discourage social interaction and contribute to feelings of loneliness.

Factors like genetics, environment, and life experiences also play significant roles in establishing the nature of our self-esteem, hence why the impact of personal self-esteem can vary across individuals and situations.

Thinking about it logically, when someone is low in self-esteem it is difficult for him/her to feel worthy, deserving, motivated and to even care about the self or anyone else. Hence why the meanest and most cruel people tend to have low self-esteem, and the most suicides occur when the some people are feeling at their lowest point in esteem and self-value.

In fact, I have posited a theory (the VISA© Self Enrichment Concept) that most offences in society are caused by people of low self-esteem and confidence who believe they are worthless, and have to take out those feelings of hopelessness on society. The idea for the VISA© Concept came to me some time ago while I was trying to work out exactly what motivated people - in particular:

* Why some of us would do certain things but not others;

* Why extraordinary people feel the sky is their limit, while ordinary mortals prefer to see the gloomy side of life, or to do just the minimum;

* Why the hopeful ones among us see the bottle as half-full, while the 'realistic' ones see it as half empty;

* Why some people procrastinate in making decisions and taking action, while others get on with it in a jiffy;

* Most important of all, why some people turn to crime and negativity, while most of us prefer the straight and narrow route in life.

The VISA© Self-Enrichment Concept

By my experienced reckoning, every one of us needs just four major things to feel great about ourselves, to do anything for others, to do our job well, and to achieve a great amount in life. Those four motivational factors are Value, Inclusion, Significance, and Appreciation. To have VISA© is to feel good: about the self, about living and about purpose. To feel energised and at peace, more empathetic and compassionate. However, our need for each element will depend on who we are.

For example, an ambitious career executive might need to be significant in his/her job to feel a sense of achievement, while a carer might just need to be valued and appreciated to feel good about their work, and a minority person in a majority society might crave being included the most. Again, being significant in the office, in the local village, the school performance or in one's job is the primary reason why many people compete for positions of status, even without payment, or give themselves various titles; why they are always craving acknowledgment, promotion, recognition and responsibility.

Like servicemen who carry over irrelevant ranks from the armed forces into civilian life: they do not want to lose their status and significance. They still want to feel that their titles matter to their new colleagues. A loss of significance is also why the highest level of suicide occurs among men of 65 years old in the UK, who feel surplus to requirements and fret themselves to death soon after they retire. Put simply, we all wish to be 'someone' and will seek that opportunity wherever possible..

The power of VISA© is incalculable for our sense of wellbeing. We can see its effects everywhere when it is lacking, especially in the reasons why people leave relationships, or join political parties and exclusive clubs. They attach themselves to people and associations that provide the most VISA© and the biggest sense of inclusion. Hence why intolerant right-wing groups will always flourish. They feed on people's sense of powerlessness, exclusion and insignificance.

In short, VISA© is essential to our lives in different ways to boost our contribution to our home, work and environment. Where it is lacking there is a very unhappy individual, one of low self-esteem and low expectations, or an angry deviant in the making, waiting for the opportunity to take out that anger, and feeling of unworthiness, on someone else.

Unpacking the Personal Baggage and Reorganising

If your self-esteem is low, it is important to be aware that the relationship between self-esteem and personality is a complex and multifaceted one that is influenced by various factors beyond your self-perception. You would need certain useful strategies for imptoving your self-esteem such as:

Positive self-talk and mindfulness: Challenging negative thoughts you might have and replacing them with affirmations and self-compassion.

Setting and achieving goals: Building confidence through accomplishment and a sense of progress, and celebrating achievements.

Building healthy relationships: Surrounding oneself with supportive individuals who foster positive self-worth.

Seeking professional help, if all else fails: If you really feel negative, or stuck, seeking therapy or counselling for deeper self-exploration and addressing underlying issues could be very useful.

The crucial importance of good self-esteem means that it cannot be left to chance, because of its significances in shaping personality and overall well-being. It is always the best approach to try to cultivate healthy self-esteem for a more fulfilling and authentic life.

The suggestions for improvement are not meant to be quick fixes, but if they do make a difference, that is the key message: positive change through self-improvement.