The Meaning of the Semicolon

Let me first start out by saying this story had a trigger warning. In this story, I talk about suicide and mental illness.

From the moment I got my first tattoo I promised myself, I would only get tattoos that mean something to me. I kept that promise all three of my tattoos that I have all have a meaning. My third tattoo I got about a year ago and it is a drawing of a semicolon. This simple tiny tattoo has such a big meaning to me. The meaning of this tattoo is suicide and mental health awareness symbol. The semicolon is a sign of survival and it reminds me every day that no matter how bad life gets I can make it out.

When I was in high school around when I was either fifteen or sixteen I was was diagnosed with depression. It was a very hard time in my life, I feel like that was one of the times my depression was the worst. I was sad all the time and every night I would hope I would go to sleep and just not wake up. There were times that I wish I could just die and it makes me very sad when I remember those days. If I am being honest the only reason I didn't end it all was because of my mom. She had been through so much in her life and I could not do that to her. I stayed alive for her and my sister. I did not want to be the reason their life became harder. I did not want to be the reason they were sad. There were times I came close though. I wrote the note but I ended up not going through with it and to this day I do not know why.

“ A semicolon is used when an author could’ve chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life.” (project semicolon) That is the reason why I decided to get the semicolon tattoo. I was doing internet research on what my next tattoo should be. I wanted it to have something to do with my mental illness and what I had gone through in my life. I came across an article that was talking about the semicolon tattoo. I knew the moment I read the article that it was the perfect tattoo for me. It crazy how such a small tattoo can have such a great meaning. I got the tattoo to remind myself what I went through and to remind myself that even when I am at my lowest I am strong enough to make it though. When I look at it. I am reminded that I am stronger than I know and I can beat whatever life throws at me. It reminds me that I am a survivor.

The semicolon Project which is a non-profit movement was created by Amy Bleuel. She created the project in April of 2013 to honor her father who took his own life. She created the foundation to create awareness for people struggling with depression, suicide, anxiety, self-harm, and addiction. She has been a big inspiration to so many in the mental health community including myself. Unfortunately, Amy Bleuel died on March 23, 2017, to suicide. While she was alive she helps so many people and she continues to do so even now with the meaning of the semicolon.

I love to tell people the meaning of my tattoo when they ask. I can tell them my story and if they are going through the same thing hopefully be able to help them if they need it. I wear this tattoo because I am a survivor and to spread awareness on mental health. This tattoo means so much more than just punctuation and this is definitely a tattoo I do not regret getting.