I put on twenty layers of mascara and red lipstick before I walk out the door. You can't cry in red lipstick, and who wants layers of thick black tears running down their faces? I cry when I'm angry, I cry when I'm sad, and I cry when I'm happy. If I experience an intense emotion, it usually ends in tears. I drown in my feelings. I don't swim in them. Today I woke up gasping for air. I hope I don't go under again.
Having difficulties with your mental health can be very challenging. I have my good days and I have horrible days. I would go through weeks where I feel happy and it eventually hits me back with weeks of sadness. Sadness that I can't explain or control for that matter. I wake up and feel sad. I sometimes wonder what's the point of everything that I'm doing. I'm just another cycle in this world.
I was normal once. I know I was; I had a reasonably normal and stable family unit. I was loved and cared for; I never went without. I had everything I needed, although not knowing at the time. I never fell on hard times, but learnt life's hard lessons fast. I was never wrapped in cotton wool, but my parents tried to protect me from the harsh reality of the world.
His formal diagnosis was in 1989, but he had been struggling far longer than that. Depression continues to strangle his potential and smother all joy. Counselor after counselor, doctor after doctor, every medication known to man, two hospital stays—nothing has diminished half a century of torment.
To say you care is like saying you'll be there in a minute; it could be true for all I know. But I don't.
Before I understood what was happening, I found myself going through intense moments of silence. I don't mean quite literally, but in the times where I would lay in bed for hours for no reason, staring at the ceiling with empty thoughts, I knew it would spell trouble.
Hi, my name is CJ and I am depressed or to be more specific, have High Functioning Depression (HFD).
Depression. According to Wikipedia this is what it means:
It is generally said that the pregnancy phase is the happiest period in a woman's life, because of all the attention and pampering that women get. But it can vary from person to person. Considering physical health, some pregnant women might develop diabetes when pregnant. Likewise, there are high chances that pregnancy will take a toll on mental health also, so it is essential to take care of one's mood; emotions are very important.
The loneliest road to walk is the road that leads to a place of isolation and an acute loneliness, brought on through the parasite force known as depression. You’re stuck inside a shell that has cracked and is seeping the most destructive emotions, tearing at your body and mind, and no matter how hard you try you just cannot shake it loose.