Reflection on My Group Counseling Course for My Clinical and Mental Health Master's Degree Program

The idea of submitting my story to the scrutiny of others is both exciting and terrifying. The easy part of my story to share with others is about my childhood experiences. My parents and siblings were all kind and respectful. I never went hungry, and for the most part I feel as if most of my emotional needs were met appropriately. From an early age, I was always helping in the local church. I learned the value for serving God and others from day one in my family unit. I enjoy sharing my testimony of salvation, which occurred when I was six years of age. What I remember more distinctively, is my water baptism experience. My dad baptized me and the symbolism of it truly resonated deeply in my young soul. I was eight years old when I got water baptized. I remember getting a new Bible at this time. Another thing that is easy for me to talk about is my experience being a father to my daughter. Everything I do in life is centered around the welfare and benefit of my daughter, who is growing up far too fast!

The difficult part of my story to share with people is the marital relationship which ended in divorce. I always wanted to get married, ever since childhood, and I knew I wanted to be a father. Despite many attempts to salvage my marriage, it didn’t work out. To this day, I struggle with feeling inadequate because my wife had an affair with a man who was nearly twice my age. The number of bodily insecurities that I battle daily, because of her decisions to break the marriage vows, are difficult to process, even years later. Honestly, I still love my daughter’s mother and pray for her often. It was just so psychologically wreaking for me to experience. The pastor of our church had some conversations with us that did not help. I recount several quotes from him that cut my soul deeply.

Forgiveness is a daily choice and an ongoing process.

I do forgive my former wife and the unlicensed pastor of my former church but there are days when I definitely don’t want to talk about it. This part of my story is not pretty, however, I see how God has turned everything out for my good. I am reminded of Genesis 50:20, which says,

"But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive."

My most significant takeaway from a recent group counseling intensive is that people are resilient. Resiliency grows when people have a safe space to share their stories with others.

Another great take away that I have from this week is that silence is important.

Silence doesn’t have to be awkward but it can help people process things and then build up their courage to share their experiences. Another major takeaway that I had was to embrace some of the awkward occurrences that do come up and find the opportunity in them for group growth. While I don’t like the phrase “embrace the suck,” that I heard someone quote recently, because I think it could be easily misinterpreted, I appreciate the concept of embracing pain, if it leads to growth and future empowerment!

One of the most powerful conversations that I remember in one of the group practice sessions was on the subject of feeling shame. Unfortunately, many people in American society don’t seem to talk about shame very much. Shame seems like it is one of those unspoken taboo topics. When several group members were vulnerable and shared about why they had felt shame in the past, it made me feel a bit braver and I was able to share about some feelings of shame that I had experienced pertaining to my marriage. Being able to open up about shame changed my thinking in the sense that I saw the power in just talking about shame in general, especially in the group counseling setting.

It feels good to say goodbye to this group of counselors in training because I know that they are all heading in a great direction, with powerful purpose, in a wonderful profession! I feel proud of everyone in this class because they showed up, asked great questions, and practiced their skills. It is important to frame goodbyes as more of an encouragement-based mentality, where we really say, “Keep up the great work! You are great counselors-in-training and you will be great licensed counselors in the counseling profession one day!” Positivity, especially in the final group session is highly crucial for finishing well and helping foster happy emotions in people!

In conclusion, I feel a great sense of joy having been able to meet many future counselors in this required course. This group counseling class helped remind me that I am not alone on this journey to becoming a licensed counselor. It also reminded me that everyday we all have room to grow and development holistically!