Losing Game

Losing a loved one to cancer is a profound and heart-wrenching experience that forever alters the course of one's life. The pain of grief and the void left behind can feel overwhelming, but amidst the darkness, there is always a glimmer of hope. In this article, come with me as we delve into the deeply personal journey of my life and how I found strength, resilience, and a renewed sense of purpose after losing both parents to cancer.

I grew up in a warm and loving home, nurtured by the unconditional love and guidance of my parents. The diagnosis of cancer on both my parents shattered my world, thrusting into a realm of fear, uncertainty, and heartache. I became intimately acquainted with the struggles and challenges that accompany such a devastating illness. The loss of a parent leaves an indelible mark on one's soul. I experienced an overwhelming range of emotions - sorrow, anger, confusion, and even moments of numbness - as I navigated the painful process of grief. The void left by the absence of my parents was like an unfillable void in my life.

Central to my journey of loss was my father's battle with liver metastasis. As my papa faced this formidable foe, I witnessed firsthand the courage and strength he displayed in the face of adversity. From the initial diagnosis to the countless hospital visits and grueling treatments, my papa’s unwavering determination became a source of inspiration. He confronted each day with resilience, refusing to let cancer define him. His unwavering spirit taught me the importance of perseverance and the power of a positive mindset, even in the darkest of times. Liver metastasis is a formidable form of cancer, as it represents cancer cells that have spread to the liver from another part of the body. My papa, armed with the support of his loved ones, embarked on a treatment plan that aimed to combat the metastatic cancer and extend his life. We became a united front, researching treatment options, accompanying him to medical appointments, and providing emotional support throughout the arduous journey. We witnessed the toll the treatments took on his body, but papa’s determination remained unyielding, fighting with every ounce of strength he possessed.

During the battle against liver metastasis, I saw papa’s resilience and bravery in the face of adversity. He endured the side effects of treatment, the physical pain, and the emotional roller coaster with unwavering resolve. It was a testament to his character and an inspiration to those around him. His unwavering spirit not only touched our hearts but also resonated with the medical professionals who cared for him. The doctors, nurses, and healthcare team admired his courage and used his case as a reminder of the power of the human spirit in the face of challenging circumstances.

Throughout his battle against liver metastasis, I stood as a pillar of support for my papa, offering comfort, love, and encouragement during the most trying times. I witnessed the ups and downs, the triumphs and setbacks, but through it all, our bond grew stronger. Together, we shared cherished moments, created lasting memories, and forged an unbreakable connection. My Papa’s battle with liver metastasis taught me the importance of cherishing every moment and valuing the time spent with loved ones, as life's fragility became painfully apparent.

In the end, despite Papa’s valiant fight against liver metastasis, the disease took its toll. The loss was devastating, leaving me with a profound sense of grief and emptiness. However, I carry my papa’s bravery, resilience, and unwavering spirit in my heart, finding solace in the knowledge that his legacy lives on. Through my own journey of loss, I honor my papa’s memory, cherishing the lessons learned and using my experiences to offer support and compassion to others facing similar battles.

While the weight of grief was immense, I chose not to let it define my future. I embarked on a personal journey of healing, seeking solace and the embrace of loved ones. It was during this time that I discovered the importance of self-care, both physically and emotionally, in order to regain strength and find a path forward.

But as what they say, life is full of surprises. After 15 years of battling the intensity of emotions and fighting for my mental health – I lost my mom. I also faced the arduous challenge of my mother's fight against renal cell carcinoma. The diagnosis of this aggressive form of kidney cancer brought a wave of fear and uncertainty into our lives. Yet, my mom approached her treatment with courage and determination, facing each hurdle with unwavering strength. After undergoing a complex operation to remove the cancerous kidney, tragedy struck as she suffered a stroke, adding a new layer of complexity to an already challenging journey. The stroke that befell my mother following her operation was a devastating turn of events. Our family's hope for recovery was overshadowed by the realization that she would face yet another battle, this time against the debilitating effects of a stroke. The physical and cognitive impairments that ensued posed immense challenges, testing the resilience of both my mother and the entire family. The journey of healing took on new dimensions, requiring rehabilitation, therapy, and unwavering support to navigate the path to recovery.

The journey of battling renal cell carcinoma and surviving a stroke left me feeling like I am in a blank space. Despite the challenges and setbacks, we experienced moments of triumph and resilience. My mother's determination to regain her independence and live life to the fullest became a beacon of hope and inspiration. Her journey served as a reminder that even in the face of immense adversity, the human spirit has the capacity to overcome and find strength in the most challenging circumstances.

Tragically, Mommy’s battle ultimately came to an end, leaving a void in our lives that will never be filled. The grief that followed her passing was profound, but it was tinged with the knowledge that she fought with all her strength until the very end. Through my mommy’s journey of battling renal cell carcinoma and enduring a stroke, I carried resilience and spirit within them. I found solace in cherishing the memories, learning from her strength, and continuing her legacy of courage and perseverance. Mommy’s battle serves as a constant reminder of the fragility of life and the importance of embracing every moment with love and gratitude.

Living in a Third world country really made me think that this is why our Healthcare system has failed us! I heard a lot of stories about people surviving cancer because their Healthcare system was fully equipped, efficient and had a lot of highly trained medical professionals. Believe me, our country has a lot of them but our government did not have the means to work with them hand in hand. This could be one reason why our country will never be part of the most developed countries.

Going back, navigating life without the presence of both my parents was undoubtedly challenging, but I was never alone. Friends, extended family, and a network of compassionate individuals rallied around us, providing a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear. This support network became a lifeline, reminding me that I was never alone in my grief. As time passed, I learned to embrace a "new normal." I redefined my identity and purpose, understanding that my parents' love would forever be a part of me. I found solace in pursuing their passions, making meaningful connections, and cherishing the relationships that remained. While the pain of loss remains, I still continued to navigate life's storms with hope, compassion, and a profound appreciation for the preciousness of every moment.