Living with Pseudotumor Cerebri

Disclaimer: I am not a Doctor, and I have no medical education of any sort. Everything I state in this article is from my own personal experience living with Pseudotumor Cerebri. And my years and years of research trying to understand and heal the disease that has taken control of my life.

Let me first introduce myself. And a little summary of what this article is all about. I am a mother and a wife, 34 years young. I go by the name Jay. I have always lived a healthy and active life. Many people who knew me would say I was a bit of a fitness freak. I say 'knew' in a past reference to the woman I once was before my body was invaded by Pseudotumor Cerebri. Yes, body, because my brain was not the only one affected.

In this article, I will go over everything. From the symptoms to the causes. The treatment that will be given (varies for everyone), to how it could affect a person. All this and how it affected my life and the journey I had to go through to finally feel myself again.

With any disease - one size doesn't fit all. Everyone who is affected has different symptoms. Therefore will need different treatments. So I will go over varieties of symptoms that I have learned that others have gone through - through my years of extensive research. I don't remember the sites I found these testimonies. This was during periods of my life I would be in bed crying in pain. Trying to find anyone who could relate because nobody in my life understood.

I do remember what others went through because I did keep notes. Never really thought one day I would be here today writing a blog about it. This was before I understood my purpose in life. What I wanted to do with my life. It was during a period when I had hit rock bottom and thought this would be my life from now on.

So what is Pseudotumor Cerebri?

Pseudotumor Cerebri

Also known as Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension (IIH). It is considered a rare - *life-threatening disease (see notes at the end). Fewer than 200,000 US cases each year. Doctors still don't understand this disease in full- capacity making it hard to diagnose. Leaving many people miserable and taking medications that will not treat the underlying cause. I know from first-hand experience I've gone years being told it's nothing- just a headache. I've taken more Ibuprofen, Tylenol, and Advil than should be legally recommended.

Doctors don't yet understand what a patient is going through and look at them like- 'you're crazy.' Now I am not saying all Doctors are this way. It's just been my experience making me one- who curses off seeing a Doctor until I'm laying half-dead on the ground. I've gone to many Doctors who will have me in tears of frustration because they have the Degree. So they know it all. I understand many of these symptoms will be similar to many other illnesses.

My goal by the end of this article... Is to educate on the importance of this life-altering disease.

Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension (IIH) is the term you call this illness when there is no significant cause as to why the pressure in your skull has increased. It's a condition that occurs when the pressure inside the skull increases for no apparent reason. It can happen suddenly or as a result of a severe head injury. It could also occur from a stroke or a ruptured brain aneurysm. The pressure build-up is called (ICP)- Intracranial Pressure. IH is another name given when you know the underlying cause.

Pseudotumor Cerebri means 'false tumor.' The pressure inside the skull is caused by poor absorption and build-up of your (CSF) Cerebrospinal Fluid.

CSF always flows around the brain. It acts as a cushion to protect your brain. Your cerebrospinal fluid needs to be constant. At the same time, it must recycle. When you have IIH, it's due to the fact your CSF is not able to recycle at a normal rate. It then builds up, causing optical nerve swelling (aka Papilledema). And symptoms of a large brain tumor.

The only reason I finally received a proper diagnosis is from a visit to the eye doctor. I was having problems with my eyes. Blurry vision, double vision. The eye pain was tormenting! I wasn't able to see well from my peripheral vision. Every time I would work out, I'd lose my vision. I would black out and couldn't see anything for a few seconds to even a minute. I had a lot of discharge, making me think it was just an eye infection. The pain and swelling around my eyes didn't add up to your typical eye infection.

I then decided to see an eye doctor. Thinking I just needed a new prescription. Keep in mind I was having other symptoms all across my body. I will get into that more down the road. I want to focus first on how I finally got a Doctor to see 'I'm not crazy after all.'

The day of my eye appointment

It was the year 2020. Do you remember when the Pandemic hit? This is the year I decided enough is enough. I needed ANSWERS. Before- all of this. I was still going years without treatment, living a miserable life of agony. Okay, so back to it, I can't remember the actual date or month I went to see my regular eye clinic. But it had to be before July 2020.

Mask on, waiting in that cold waiting room. Nervous but wasn't really sure why I was. It could have been because I consulted my Oracle cards weeks before my appointment. My lovely Oracle deck told me It was urgent. I needed to stop stalling and get help. There is something in my brain that is making me sick! I shit you not! That is what she said. This is my sweet deck too. She sugarcoats everything, unlike my Ryder deck. Which is a complete ass at times. Whether you're into tarot cards or think they are a bunch of BS. I'm just keeping it real with you. My journey is about keeping it real. Even if I come off as 'woo woo' at times. So I can't apologize for being me.

Nervously waiting, then I hear "Jessica Banda." I get up and head toward the Optometrist. I sat down as she went through the test results. The ones I took when I first arrived. This is a regular routine before I make a fool of myself reading numbers instead of letters. Those that are plastered on a lit-up screen behind me. I don't know why I do this all the time. Instead of reading IHT, I am saying 1, 4, 7 ( hand smacking forehead).

When she finally looks up. I could see in her eyes that something was alarming. Then she pulled up on the screen my eyes. Explaining to me her findings. I had a lot of swelling and damage around my optical nerves. I would need to be referred to another Optometrist that is more experienced in this field. I could tell she didn't want to worry me. Not giving me much information. Only I must not put this off for too long if I want to save my vision. The damage that was found is irreversible. I can still do something to keep me from going blind.

The appointment is set for July 2020. I took a few extra- tests and then wait for the Optometrist to call on me. What I liked about this clinic is there is really no waiting time. You go in and get your answers and leave. I wasn't sure what to expect, so I didn't come prepared. They gave me eye drops that made my eyes blurry and would last hours. Very painful when out in sunlight. I didn't bring my sunglasses! I wished I had. Once I walked out of the darkroom into the light. I felt like Dracula! The light it burnnnnssss!

So glad that I had my husband drive me. Luckily he didn't work that day! I don't know how I would have gotten home if he didn't come. I couldn't see shit because of the sun!

The Optometrist was straight to the point. No sugar coating, no lectures, nothing but here is what I found. This is what you must do. He let me know I have Papilledema. This is just an underlying of another 'serious' illness. Told me that the cause of this would need to be found by a Neurologist. It could be caused by numerous illnesses. Like a brain tumor, blood clots, a stroke, brain abscess, meningitis, or encephalitis - just to name a few. Stressing that this was serious! I must set an appointment soon to start treatment and stop further damage.

Shocked by the results, yet I could have fooled anyone. Sign me up for the Oscars because I amazingly played the " I am fine, no big deal" role! I walked out of that office and went home. Holding in my fears, worries, and tears to myself. Told my husband what the doctor found. Of course, I sugar-coated it and acted as if it wasn't a big deal. Mentioned I did need to set an appointment with my P.D., but that's it. My husband doesn't ask many questions when it comes to the health department.

How did it get to this point?

Symptoms

So...

Before I get into the symptoms. I want to first say. I will get into what actually caused this a bit further down. I want to list a few symptoms that are common and some that may have been brushed off and not reported. Common symptoms among individuals with IIH that I have read about that Doctors may think are irrelevant.

Here is a list:

1. Symptoms mimic a brain tumor. This is the one that makes you feel like something else is wrong and confuses the Doctors. Because when they do your CT scan or MRI, they come up empty-handed.

2. Headaches. These headaches are constant and are worse in the morning or when you are coughing or exercising,

3. Eye pain. This is one that you can't ignore! It is irritating and painful.

4. Dizziness. Feeling dizzy will differ for each person. For myself, it was throughout the day. I always felt woozy and as if my sugar was low.

5. Blacking out. This would happen to me when working out or doing something that would apply pressure throughout my body.

6. Temporary loss of vision, or for some, permanent loss of vision. Again, this happened when I was putting my body under pressure.

7. The constant feeling of sick. Every day you feel sick! And not just here and there. It's all damn day! From the moment you wake up to resting your head at night. For me, it was also waking up and heading to the bathroom to spew up whatever I had for the day.

8. Tiredness and exhaustion. You're trying to get through the day, and coffee doesn't work. Your body can never get enough rest. You're always tired! You're always exhausted. People start to think you are lazy, but you're not. You just don't have the strength anymore. You will find yourself sleeping a lot more.

9. Irritability. This one is not a 'main' symptom. But it was one I found that was common while doing my research. I was constantly irritable. And it caused issues in my marriage. I didn't understand why I felt the way I did. And as much as I tried to control it, it was inevitable. It worsens with medication. Well, at least for me, it did.

10. Sensitivity. The light or sun was not my best friend.

11. Weakness. Not to be mistaken for exhaustion. As I mentioned above. This illness doesn't only affect your brain. It affects your entire body. I had considered myself a strong woman. I lifted heavy ass weights, but this illness made my muscles feel like jello and I always felt weak!

12. Numbness and tingling sensation. From your face going numb to your toes. Pins and needles are felt in your feet, hands, and face. This was agonizing! Talk about making someone whose pain tolerance was high. Cry like a big baby! My tongue would go numb here and there. At times it would affect my swallowing. My cheeks will become flushed red and hot to the touch. Then accompanied by numbness. Sometimes my feet would turn blue from the numbness. I wouldn't be able to walk. After that would subside more pain with the feeling of my feet being stabbed.

13. Tinnitus. Constant ringing in the ear. Good luck getting rid of this. At least for me, I have yet to get rid of that pestering ringing sound!

14. Double vision.

15. Blurred vision.

16. Neck and shoulder pain. This is also a 'main' symptom but is sometimes confused for a different problem bc it is so common.

17. Ophthalmoplegia

18. Poor coordination. I can't count the times I've twisted my ankle or walked into a wall!

19. Memory loss. Losing parts of your day or weeks is frustrating enough. Medication doesn't really help with this. So I recommend keeping a journal or notes on the important stuff.

20. Cognitive delays or regression.

I had every one of these symptoms except for ophthalmoplegia, cognitive delays, and regression. I also had a few others. My speech was affected. I would stutter often it became worse when I was on medications. I never wanted to talk to anyone because I was scared. Terrified of making myself look ridiculous. It was rough already having my husband laugh at me or put me down for stuttering all the time.

Side note: It's not my goal to make anyone I mention in this article look bad or hated. But if I am going to write about this. I need to be transparent. I never want to make anybody look like a villain. I don't take pleasure in that. This is why I never wanted to share any of my 'personal' life stories. Or talk to anyone about anything I go through.

So...

I was confused often. More than I'd like to admit. I sure knew how to play it off. I always felt that if I wasn't always trying to cover my symptoms up. Then they would be used against me somehow, someday. I wasn't always successful, especially when I was put under stress. If I was having a conversation and I would forget what I was talking about. Or say one thing, then become confused and start stuttering. My brain would malfunction and always end the same way in tears. It is extremely frustrating when you have no control over your emotions! This is without medication too. When I was on medication... Forget about it! I would end up with fevers and be sentenced to my bed because of all the stress. Making me utterly weak.

Some may look at these symptoms and feel that it's nothing. I or anyone else going through this are over-exaggerating. Whether you lived a steady life or were active. It not only fucks with you physically. It will take over emotionally as well. Imagine waking up to agonizing headaches that put you in tears. You have this burning sensation rushing throughout your head. Somedays, it's even paralyzing, and you can't move. Because if you move that stabbing sensation you feel digs deeper.

You wake up with half your face or/and body so numb. But this kind of numbness hurts. Going throughout your day while your body hurts all over. Nothing you take eases the pain. You stop throughout the day because that fatigue hits you like a rock. If that fatigue doesn't put you down, constantly feeling dizzy and blacking out throughout the day sure will. Many people will be suffering some sort of illness. They don't always show it or may never. That doesn't take away what they are going through. It's our job as civil citizens to spread kindness. Don't take people for granted. Be there for your loved ones like they are there for you.

Diagnosis and Treatment Options

First, let's go over what kind of tests a Doctor will do to make a diagnosis. I've already gone over one. That is through eye testing. Not everyone starts there. Some will start with either an MRI or a CT scan usually through an ER visit. Most patients visit their emergency room first before seeing their Primary Doctor. They are referred to a Neurologist. Who specializes in the brain, spinal cord, nerves, and muscles. Whether you are tested in the emergency room or by your Neurologist. They will run an MRI that runs detailed pictures of your brain. And checks for abnormalities. This test will also check the veins in your brain to see if there are any blood clots.

Depending on the Doctor. They could start with a CT scan first. Sometimes the CT scan will show more than the MRI. Personally, my MRI testing ( I've taken a lot) didn't help with my Diagnosis. It was the CT scan that helped. The next test you will take is a Lumbar Puncture also known as a Spinal Tap. They will first numb you from the waist down. Then they take a small needle and insert it into your lower spine. Withdrawing some cerebrospinal fluid.

It's not painful as it may sound. You won't be put to sleep but they will numb you. You'll still feel some pressure being applied though. Prepare yourself for this day. You will be an outpatient and stay a couple hours after this procedure is done. You will also need someone to be able to drive you back home. This test is very important for a few reasons. 1. They can see how high your spinal pressure is and lower it. Unfortunately for me that didn't happen. Only because my Doctor didn't leave in the notes that they could lower it. So they didn't. That actually might have helped me heal a lot faster. If it was lowered that same day.

The second reason this test is important. With your CSF they can test it for inflammation or any possible infections. Don't worry! Even with an elevated pressure your other tests can come back just fine! After these tests are done. If your Neurologist diagnosed you with Pseudotumor Cerebri. Then you can begin treatment.

There are actually many different types of medications you may be prescribed. Medication will be your first go-to. If medication doesn't work. Then two different types of surgeries will be recommended. I have tried so many kinds of medications that I honestly don't remember them all. Some were affordable with Good RX! Thank you Good RX. That saved me shit loads of money. Unfortunately, some were still too much that I couldn't afford it.

Now the ones that I could afford. Did not work for me at all. They came with so many side effects. Then there was this one I took that cost like $800. That was with help from Good RX. It helped but still too expensive. I really wish I remembered the name of it. These medications I am about to list are pretty aggressive. I say that because they come packed with so many side effects. They make you feel HORRIBLE! You will also lose weight and could bald ( I lost a lot of hair😢). But like my Doctor said, "The benefits out weight the side effects."

Medication that helps to remove excess fluids is called diuretics. You need to remove this extra fluid buildup in your brain. So the pressure can lower. Prevent more swelling. I am going to be straight with you. This is not going to be a quick healing process. It can last in people anywhere from a year or be lifelong.

Carbonic anhydrase inhibitors:

Acetazolamide (Diamox)

Methazolamide (Neptazane)

Antiseizure medication:

Topiramate (Topamax)

Zonisamide (Zonegran)

furosemide (Lasix)

If the medication doesn't work. You may be given another lumbar puncture. This is not always a permanent solution. Which is why I didn't do this a second time.

If after a while medication doesn't seem to be helping or your vision is at high risk. Shunt surgery may be an option. A thin, flexible tube is inserted into the fluid-filled space in your skull or spine to divert excess fluid to another part of your body. It is used to drain the excess CSF. A surgeon will make a tiny incision behind the ear. Then they will drill a small hole in the skull. The catheter is then inserted into your skull being placed under the skin. The tube will go down your chest and abdomen. This shunt procedure allows the extra CSF to be drained into your abdominal cavity.

My Neurologist was telling me my next option was this shunt surgery. Nope! I didn't want to after looking more into it. Both surgeries have their risks and serious complications. I decided to go a different route. I will go over that more later.

The other option is the Optic Nerve Sheath Fenestration. Protective layers surrounding your optic nerve are opened up to relieve pressure on it and allow fluid to drain away.

How my life was impacted

I may have turned this article into a damn book. It's already getting pretty long here. So I won't get into much detail. I probably will save the rest for an actual book. I will write it down the road one day.

I know my Neurologist said the cause is unknown. When I reflected back on my life and went through my healing journey. And by going through symptoms others have gone through. Really opened my eyes.

I've had symptoms of Pseudotumor Cerebri since I was a teenager! I did bring this up to my Doctor. She does admit that for most, Pseudotumor Cerebri can take years to get really bad- to build up. And you can have it for many years without even knowing.

Especially if it was caused by head trauma! When I was 14, I was in a very abusive relationship. We were together for 4 years. I was trauma bonded to him and worried a lot about leaving. Didn't make it any easier when your mother didn't want you around. And she was the one who told us to work it out.

During these 4 years, I did end up pregnant- twice. During my first pregnancy, he became very abusive. The only place that he would pound on - you guessed it! My head! I hated looking in mirrors bc I often didn't recognize myself. Nobody knew because I would hide in my room until I looked normal again. Once again, I never let anyone know about the abuse because I didn't enjoy making people look bad. I still don't! I try to forgive and understand why they do what they do.

I was living with him, and yes... I have tried to leave it never worked! Before I met him, it was a couple years that I finally found the courage to tell my mother that her husband was sexually abusing my sister and me. Then during a time, my mother's best friend would try getting me drunk to sleep with me!

So when my baby daddy came around and promised to protect me and never let anyone else hurt me. To be the "man" I needed in my life. I went with it and any red flags I was blind to because I had already lived a traumatic life. I knew no different. I was a kid!

After living with this abuse from my kid's father. I started getting really bad headaches! These headaches never went away! I did get a CT scan but it came out empty-handed. Because back then, they didn't even think to consider Pseudotumor Cerebri.

FYI, I convinced my mother to let me come live with her after I gave birth to my eldest daughter. I was 18 by then. And I knew I had to give her a better life. Not let her grow up like I did. It took having a daughter to want better.

Not that I didn't want better for my firstborn son. He was my rock! He came into my life when I needed to be loved and to remind me I have a lot of love to give. I protected him very well and kept the toxicity from him. My oldest son will be graduating High School this year ( 2023) and my daughter will be 16!

That is how long they have been shielded from everything! So whenever anyone wants to try and make me the bad person... I ignore it! Why? Because I know the truth and that is all that matters.

Years go by, and I still live with non-stop headaches. Then they start to be accompanied by blacking out. Constantly feeling sick and dizzy. After giving birth to my 5th child in 2012, the numbness started to hit. My tongue would go numb often. But I had already sworn off Doctors by then. So I just dealt with everything on my own.

I was able to live a semi-normal life even if I was constantly feeling sick. But I wasn't weak or always exhausted and fatigued just yet. I was a very skinny person. I mention this because Doctors like to blame it on weight. My weight was never an issue. I did have a lot of muscles but I was far from obese.

Fast forward to 2018. I had this job as a machine operator. Long story short... I was in a work accident. Like my typical self, I showed no pain or worrisome. I always felt I had to be strong and brave. Show no pain!

I did show them my teeth that were knocked out and my broken glasses (if I can find those photos I took when I got home from work that day I will come back and post them). My mouth was gushing blood and my safety helmet was knocked off as I was hit by a metal door twice. The back of my head was slammed into a concrete platform. The door looked just as bad as my face. It bent pretty bad. So you could tell that it was a very forceful blow!

The "nurse" that assisted me denied anything wrong with me. He didn't ask questions and didn't check for a concussion. I did have a concussion and it lasted a year! Because they lacked professionalism. I was not able to get the help I needed until I quit. Why? Because of Company rules! Those teeth that I had to pull out of my lip myself? Well, they acted like it was no big deal. Then they had me go to a dentist to see if it actually happened from that accident.

Like HELLO! I showed them my lip and the teeth inside my lip. Then after pulling them out. I showed them the teeth in a cup they gave me to put them in. Then showed them the broken teeth in my mouth. I continued to work with them for about two weeks just to make enough to move back to Texas.

At that time, my husband and I were separated. Ever since that day, my headaches skyrocketed. During the first year of that accident, my life changed drastically.

The pressure in my head amplified a year after that accident. I still brushed it all off and lived in silence with my pain. I felt it was my own karma for leaving my husband. I did have logical reasons for the separation. But I could have gone about it in a better way! I do admit I was sloppy days before my sister came for me. That is a whole other subject!

As you already know, it wasn't until 2020 that I finally sought professional help. I did mention all of this to my Neurologist. She just nodded and took no notes but acted like she was listening. In her head, she already wanted to take the easier road. By saying the cause is unknown. When clearly, if you take a look at my history- it's from head trauma.

She did feel I was obese and needed to lose weight to lower this pressure. I didn't look obese because I had a lot of muscle. My weight was up there from muscle mass.

Side Note: It's more common in women. Ages ranging from 20-30s.

Can be caused by some hormone conditions like hypoparathyroidism or Addison's disease.

Or high levels of vitamin A and/or a lack of red blood cells ( iron deficiency anemia). Also, lupus can cause Pseudotumor Cerebri.

I do feel this disease does make you gain weight! That is my theory... You can read on some sites that it will say it's not *life-threatening but can be lifelong. I wonder what they define as life-threatening?

How my Doctor explained it to me when I told her I was done taking medications because nothing was working for me was like this. If you're not doing any better within 2 years with medication. You will need either another Spinal Tap or surgery. If you don't do anything and decide to stop treatment, you put yourself at risk of further brain damage, a stroke, permanent vision loss, or coma.

Now I know comas are not always life-threatening. But there is always that percentage that a person will never wake up again. Hospital stays are expensive and God forbid I went into a coma. I know my family wouldn't be able to afford to keep me up in wires for a long time. So yes, in a way, it can be life-threatening.

It was until December 2022. I decided to stop medications and stop seeing my Neurologist. Yes, even when she warned me of these possible complications.

I was miserable as fuck! I became depressed. You couldn't tell that I was suffering many battles alone within. This whole time I was sick-- nobody knew! Because I always showed up. I always made sure everyone was well taken care of. I never once complained about how I was feeling. I waited until everyone was asleep to allow myself to feel anything.

This disease took so much away from me, my love for fitness. I wasn't able to work out like I always have. Nobody understands that unless they face something similar.

I live in Texas. It's hot all year long! When you read that warning sign on your prescription pamphlet. Letting you know to not let your body overheat... Listen!

You will be putting your body at a higher risk for a stroke. Side effects: irritable, agitated, become faint, and will get very dizzy. For some, you may act differently. It affects you badly.

I tried my best to stay fresh. Sometimes it was not easy. Like this one week when we were living in this apartment. The A-C broke. It took them forever to fix it.

It felt like I was going to die! I was having seizures ( they were small), and I could never get rid of these fevers I was running. Everything bothered me. I felt like I was losing my mind! I had to lay in bed most of the time. I was worried I would pass out somewhere. I never wanted to scare my kids like that.

They warn you about the hot weather but they don't warn you about getting too cold.

I learned that the hard way as well. Even in the cold weather, I would find myself falling really ill. I wasn't safe anywhere. The perfect temperature was 71-73 degrees F.

My marriage became rockier. My husband won't admit to that. He feels it's all me in my head. This disease did give me plenty of time to think. I did realize I was married to a narcissist. This is why he was never a supportive husband through my roughest times.

I don't hold that against him. He is who is. I have tried to fix him but sooner or later you come to realize that isn't your job.

It's just easier to live with it and not against it. I did figure out the secret to being married to a narcissist but that is for another subject.

Out of everyone, my husband is the only one that really knew what I was going through. Even when I tried to hide it. He could just tell by my eyes. My eyes can not lie!

Anyways...

I knew I had to change something. My state of mind was at risk! That is when I heard about this man who inspired this lady to heal herself from CANCER!

This was it! This was the sign I was searching for. Now I couldn't afford everything this lady was taking or doing. One thing I knew I was good at was healing others. So I finally stopped blaming myself for being sick and decided it is time to heal myself. I forgave myself for everything I did that lead up to my accident.

Even if I wasn't all at fault, it doesn't matter. That's not the point. When you truly want to heal. You need to take responsibility for the way you reacted-- toward whatever happened to you.

I picked up journaling and looked into healing affirmations. I took my affirmations to a whole other level. I used the moon phases in what I will journal about. And lived my life as if it was already happening. So ya, I became a little delusional.

It worked though! I started to feel better. My energy came back, and my head wasn't constantly hurting. My vision is still the same but I came to terms with that as being a lifelong problem. It was known to be irreversible.

The numbing and tingling are almost completely gone. In all... I feel myself again, well I did...

This is a long healing journey... I know now I have to stay consistent. For three and half months, I was doing very well. Common denominator= my affirmations.

Midway through April 2023, I stopped with my affirmations. Life got busy and in the way. I had soooo much to make up for those years that were taken from me.

I stopped journaling, and I stopped my daily affirmations. Currently, my headaches are coming back, and the exhaustion. My vision feels a little worse. Everything is starting to creep back. I find myself resting a lot more... again. I have not told my husband or anyone I am starting to feel sick again because I know he will have me go back on my medications.

I still have one bottle left of Topiramate left that I have put away. I could have gotten rid of it. I guess a part of me needed a backup plan if my self-healing journey failed. Or the echoes of my Doctor's voice telling me I will be putting myself at risk for further brain damage or a coma taunted me.

I don't see this as failing- just getting off track. This is a journey- it's not instant! With this journey, I know I am using myself. But if one day it can help others I am all in!

I won't deny it... I have been tempted to get back on those meds because it's just "safer". Well safer than remembering to affirm every day and journal. Not in the sense of dealing with everyday side effects of this medication.

Because I know for a fact if I give in and start up that medication regime, I will not be capable to speak well to my clients. My business will start to slack and my work will be affected. I didn't come this far to just get this far. Meaning I didn't sacrifice so much just to give in to this disease. I will continue to fight and conquer.

No matter what my future holds for me I can say with assurances that I won't give up until I can finally say I am healed with confidence!!

I want to now take some time to thank you for taking some time out of your busy life to read my article.

I appreciate any shares, likes, or comments. If you want more health-related blogs please let me know in the comment section.

If you liked this article please consider subscribing 🤍

If you would love to check out my original post

Until next time have a blessed day- my magical bean⭐