Expectation vs Boundaries

I use to think expectations were a good thing to have, until i got introduced to boundaries. Expectations are our desires we want other people to uphold. But putting our desires into other people's hands and expecting them to bring it into fruition is a recipe for disaster. We are the only ones, that can bring our desires into fruition, and we do that through boundaries and discipline.

Expectations require external confirmation; the boundaries we create require us to uphold it. We can not control other people and their actions, but we can control ourselves and our actions. If you have the expectation for your partner is to be loyal to you, turn the expectation inward, and create a boundary for yourself. Don't entertain infidelity and look for loyalty and trustworthy character traits in your potential partners. Having an expectation shifts the "action" from you from to them. They would have to complete/do what you wanted them to, for you to be happy. Because people have free will, they may not always do what you wanted them too, giving yourself boundaries, puts you back in the drivers seat.

It's hard to place boundaries on ourselves, because it require us to be disciplined; and being disciplined can be difficult to do. We tell people to stop talking to us, instead of us stopping the communication, because its easier. It's easier to put it into their hands, and let them do the work and decide for us, but are we really growing? The older i get, the more i just want results. i don't want to do things over and over again, and pretend i dont know better, cause it's easy. I'm going to do it the proper way, even though it's uncomfortable right now, because the results are going to be amazing. The results is, the life i want. I cant have expectations for the life i want, because i'll never get it. I have to have boundaries and discipline to get the life i want. The only way you're going to get from where you are, to where you want to be is through holding yourself accountable.

We so very often let others decide our fate, because it's easier. It's easier than doing the things, and taking the actions we need too. One of my biggest lessons, i've learned through life is that growth isn't where comfort is. Being comfortable is being familiar, and being familiar means it requires less work. We don't have to think too hard, and create new pathways in the brain. So as humans, we place the ball in other people's hands, because it requires less work and effort. We shy away from holding ourselves responsible to change, because that places our reality into our hands. I for one, am learning not to be afraid of such responsibility, rather to embrace it.

I have a deep desire to see my dreams come to fruition through love, a successful career, travelling, planting seeds for the ones after me and more. Everyday i'm coming into more understanding, that those dreams are attainable. But they will only become my reality through me being disciplined, consistent, and firm in my boundaries. In order to grab it, i have to create a feasible action plan to get it, and execute it accordingly. I have to step into the power, that is being in charge of your life. No more, delegating off important lessons, that are mine to complete. No more shying away from the uncomfortableness of boundaries, no more shying away from navigating as my best self. I am in control of my reality, i will do what's necessary to get myself from where i am, to where i want to be.