Even If You Are Not Ready For The Day It Cant Always Be Night

When Kanye west finally released his Donda album, after constant delays, I thought he was about to drop some fire.

Since I enjoyed his last religious album so much I just knew this album would be just as good if not better.

However, for some reason I couldn’t get into it. I was very disappointed and a tad bit insulted at the product that he released after stringing all of his fans along the way he did.

Just as I was about to give up and go back to listening to his “College Drop Out” album to remind me that he is a great artist and this was a fluke, track 6 starts to play.

The emotion coming through my speakers made me pause in turning it off and when I heard them say “Even If You’re Not Ready For The Day It Can’t Always Be Night” it shifted something inside of me.

I ignored the music and thought on that quote over and over again. Unpacking it then repacking it only to repeat that cycle over and over again.

The meaning was simple but it was heavily loaded. Even if you aren’t looking forward to it, if you’re not ready, or you’re trying to run, tomorrow always comes. It’s the one thing we can count on. Its constant and undeniable. Nothing can change the fact that the darkness will pass and the sun will shine in the morning.

No matter where life leads us time is going to pass us by whether we are ready for it or not.

Hearing that quote made me see things in a different light. It gave me the ability to see that what I’m going through today has nothing to do with tomorrow.

Tomorrow is a new day and with that new day is a new beginning. It’s my choice if I’m going to take advantage of that or let my yesterdays continue to dictate the rest of my life.

For someone that’s constantly battling depression and anxiety this hit me so differently.

It’s not like people have never said this to me or that I didn’t know that; It’s just in that moment, listening to Kanyes album, I was finally ready to hear it.

Anxiety is usually triggered by over-thinking or trying to control the future. Thats why when someone is having an anxiety attack they're told to ground themselves, say things aloud that's in front of them, and to breathe. It shifts them from being stuck in their head and with their thoughts back to whats in front of them. It allows them to stop thinking about what could be and start thinking about what is.

This quote also made me think of those times that I was in my deepest bout of depression. I felt there was no way out, that no change was going to happen, I was sure my life would be as dreadful as it felt forever.

It made me think of those nights where my mind was racing and I wanted to sleep but couldnt. I thought of how upset I was to slowly watch the night sky go from its dark sea of nothingness into the bright rays of daylight reminding me that a new day didnt exist for me.

I wasnt ready for the sun or the promise that came with it; A promise of a new day and a fresh start. I was so stuck in my emotions and in my defeat that I couldnt see the opportunity as it shined down on me. I couldnt get up to brush my teeth most days so in my head all the days were one big blur of doom and gloom. On the days when I was able to get up and move about I was totally disassociated from reality and walking around on auto pilot. Not feeling, not thinking, just doing.

It would be easy to say that I read this quote and my depression was instantly cured but thats not the case. If all it took was positive thinking for depression to go away there wouldnt be so many people suffering from it in this world today.

This quote didnt cure anything but it did shift my mindset. It shifted how I thought about things concerning my future, my past, and how I handled them. When my mind starts focusing to far into the future I remind myself that a new day is coming no matter what. As the quote says "it cant always be night". So instead of hyperfocusing on something that hasnt happened I allow those thoughts to sit on the back burner of my mind until their day comes to be dealt with. The day is coming no matter what, right? Why sit and panic about it now?

When I feel that I am starting to sink into myself and disassociate, I meditate on the fact that no matter what the day is coming. No matter what time is about to pass me by whether im ready for it or not. I push myself to complete just one task. Even if its washing my hair or brushing my teeth I make myself move forward because time waits for no one. I've noticed that those small accomplishments have cut my episodes of depression in half.

So, for everyone out there suffering through mental illness and thoughts of giving up, remember, even if you're not ready for it the sun is going to shine. If you cant depend on anything else in this life you can depend on that promise. The night will fade and the sun will come out. A new day with a clean slate. Maybe your mental illness doesnt look like mine and youre someone who suffers in silence. Someone that can walk around laughing and joking like your world isnt crashing down around you. I see you, I feel you, and I understand. You arent alone. The night WILL fade.