Common Anxieties, And A Key Question, Of People Approaching 40

Being 40 years old is supposed to be a trying, and worrying, time for many people who seem to reach a bewildering crossroads in their life that causes them to question everything they might have done before, perhaps to lose their self-esteem, to doubt their achievements, and to dread the future.

This phase of turmoil, often referred to as the ‘midlife crisis’, is where everything seems pointless, past actions are questionable, achievements seem to have come at a huge price, and the value of one's direction in life becomes subject to scrutiny. In fact, it can affect some people so severely, it causes them to act in seemingly irrational ways. Like this guy who had been married for 18 years and was very disturbed about being 40. One morning, he got up as usual, said goodbye to his wife as though he was going to work, and was not seen again for years. He simply disappeared!

Many men, in particular, go through life chasing particular dreams which become the be-all and end-all of their existence. They even sacrifice relationships and people to reach those desired objectives. Then they reach their anticipated destination, especially in their jobs and fortunes (or some might not) and find that life is no different at that point; that life perhaps feel even harder than before.

But worst of all, they might have lost a lot in the process of reaching that objective, and that is the hardest for them to accept. They do not feel anything like they imagined they would feel. Success is tinged with much sadness and regret. In a bid to understand their situation, they are likely to ask themselves this key question: “What was it all for? Was it really worth it?” Unfortunately this period of doubt and regret happens to millions every year who focus on their development and growth to the exclusion of all else.

In fact, this is the time that they are likely to worry about six aspects of life. Their:

• Mortality: This is a time when people start to think more about how long they might have left to live, having realised that they are halfway through their lives, or that they are closer to the end than the beginning. This can lead to anxiety about death, and making the most of the time they have left. Others may worry about being discriminated against because of their age, and the obvious physical and cognitive decline that can come with ageing.
• Health: As we age, we are more likely to experience health problems, which can be a source of anxiety for those feeling insecure about ageing, particularly if there is a family history of an illness, or they have issues themselves.
• Career: By the time many people reach their 40s, they may be feeling stuck and unfulfilled in their jobs: perhaps worried about their prospects, not advancing to the next level, no longer being as competitive as before, or even being laid off.
• Relationships: This is the worst aspect of worry for people reaching their 40s. They are likely to be facing relationship challenges, such as struggling to conceive children, maintain a romantic partnership, empty nest syndrome, divorce, or caring for ageing parents. Needless to say, these challenges can be rather stressful and anxiety-provoking.
• Financial Security: This is a thorny issue at this time, especially if they are still paying off student loans, saving for retirement, supporting children, or are worried about being laid off.
• Appearance: This is often the time when some people - especially women - start to feel anxious about their appearance. They may be concerned about wrinkles, grey hair, or weight gain, which are all likely to make them believe that they are no longer as attractive as before, and to feel inadequate about doing anything to remedy he perception.

It is important to note that, despite all those potential anxieties, everyone experiences life differently and not everyone is worried by any particular age. Some people will take the different changes in life as they come, some may experience mild anxiety, while others might be severely troubled by them.

If you are worried about any stage of life, to the extent that anxiety is interfering with your daily routine, these brief tips might help.

• Talk to someone you trust. You don’t have to bottle up your feelings about it. We all experience life’s ups and downs. Talking to a friend, family member, trusted person, or even a therapist - your own support system - can help you to process your anxiety and develop coping mechanisms to deal with them.
• Focus on the positive aspects of ageing. There are many things to be grateful for as you age, such as increased wisdom and experience, stronger relationships, and a greater appreciation for life. Above all, there is only one alternative to ageing, and if you do appreciate life, that’s the last thing you’d want! Enjoy every moment of your existence, and give thanks for it because life is not a guarantee.
• Focus on the present moment. It is easy to get caught up in worrying about the past or the future, but the only moment that really matters is the present because you cannot go back in time to change anything, and you might not even see the future! Try to focus on enjoying the present moment and making the most of your time. Challenge your negative thoughts, too. When you find yourself worrying about the future, ask yourself if your thoughts are helpful, or even realistic. Remind yourself of how far you’ve come already through your own efforts.
• Take care of yourself. Make sure to eat a healthy diet, get regular exercise, and get enough sleep. Taking care of your physical and mental health can help to reduce anxiety because the more run-down or overwhelmed we feel, the less we feel able to cope with life.

And remember, that nothing in life is perfect!

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