Oubliette
an acrostic challenge entry
Damage seeps through unseen fissures, fracturing thoughts while sinew starts to atrophy, stripped down to pale bleached bone–a snowy hiemal white. An unwelcome affirmation that
Insipid winter's come again to steal my fragile mind. A sleight of hand, a trick to bury me alive in snowdrifts never once suspecting, while
Solstice doldrums pick apart my scabs and stitches,
The ones that hold my rotting innards from spilling out, exposing all my dreams and lies and shameful secrets; how I yearn for summery salvation.
Respite. A bit of warmth to thaw my frozen heart, burn away the self doubt. Instead I lie supine, shivering as indigo eyes search starless skies from the cold, clay floor of my homemade oubliette,
Aching to glimpse Ursa Major at its zenith; all the while knowing there's a price, a sacrifice demanded for that estival luxury–the hunger of a
Capricorn moon starved of tenderness and warmth, needing sated,
Taking and stealing and draining me dry until the emptiness echoes throughout my crystallized soul. Time stretches until...
I become ravenous too. Hunger pains drag me from distracted slumber as dormant seeds take hold.
One small stalk of viridescent growth breaches soil not yet freed from frost, blissfully unaware of its doomed fate. An innocent sacrifice that drives the crippling numbness away; pins and
Needles bringing long-dead tissue back to life, pushing away winter's loveless embrace. On the cusp of vernal blossoming, I awaken–renewed.
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Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
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The story invoked strong personal emotions
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More stories from Heather Hubler and writers in Poets and other communities.
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I want to grow and I’m going to grow. I’m not going to be this version of myself anymore and you won’t know who I become. You won’t talk to her, or be by her side as she goes through life— you won’t know her. Her heart won’t even remember the small moments that’ve clung to it for so long. I’ll watch her embrace a new life that has nothing to do with you, and there won’t be a space waiting like there has been for far too long.
By Aathavi Thanges2 days ago in Psyche
Comments (56)
Love your descriptive writing . Your words are full of feelings and impact. Great work.
This was truly a soul rattling poem, Heather! Goodness! Each word held so much weight and landed with intense emotion. This piece was an immersive journey with a gorgeous ending! I was entranced. Wonderful work! 💫💞
lovely work don't stop
Good job,unique work
Deep cavern of dispersal, you describe so well the void of unfocused thought and how it becomes unfocused. Hope it wins!
Wow, such language... In the most appropriate and descriptive way. This was stunning Heather, not sure how I missed it. Congrats on crafting this contender. If this doesn't place, I'll eat my shoe... as long as you give me some bbq sauce. 😅🙏🏽🥇💯
"Damage seeps through unseen fissures, fracturing thoughts while sinew starts to atrophy, stripped down to pale bleached bone–a snowy hiemal white. An unwelcome affirmation that / Insipid winter's come again to steal my fragile mind. A sleight of hand, a trick to bury me alive in snowdrifts never once suspecting, while." These lines really stuck with me. You have extremely creative and compelling dicton, and your command of syntax is exemplary as well. Congratulations on Top Story!
Incredible ❤️
“ On the cusp of vernal blossoming, I awaken–renewed.” This lifts my soul. Congratulations Heather 🥰🥇
woah
Heather I love the raw sensation and emotional triggering vocabulary! Such a great take on the challenge! Also, congratulations on Top Story!! 🎉
A truly sensory-inspired piece Heather. What a great job you've done! Congratulations!
Thank you for sending me to the dictionary with this one: hiemal is a new word to me, and it kept me on my toes all the way through this.
By far one of the best for this challenge. Awesome Congratulations
I can only picture Hoggle from the movie Labyrinth talking about the horrible, black oubliette, lol. This was written in excellent style. It flows beautifully and makes one ponder. Great job.
Unique. I enjoyed it
Wonderful imagery, amazing prose
Damn poets, you made me learn something today. I had to look up oubliette. Still, I got it. This was great.
Having some issues liking his post, it should have registered now though. My comment seems to have disappeared too. I shall give it a minute and refresh. Apologies.😊
☺️👍Wow, spectacular imagery Heather. My acrostic piece also has the word “innards” in it, you wrote it first so I hope it wasn’t copyrighted. 🤣 Jesting of course!
Superb & amazing!!! Loved it!!! Congratulations on T S too!!!❤️❤️💕
Outstanding work, Heather. This is visceral and every word is perfectly selected. Definitely learned a few new ones from this as well. Very nicely done!
This is incredible! A well-deserved top story. Beautiful, lyrical words!
A poem to read again and again. Chilling yet beautiful with stunning images! Congratulations on top poem. I hope to see your name in the winners announcement! 👏 👏 👏 🌹 🏆
Congratulations on Top Story!