Expression

When is a poem not a poem? Short answer? When you want to cheat the system a little bit. Why cheat the system? Because sometimes 600 words is too much, but Vocal has no other place for short articles. But also, this article is more about my poetry than not. So, perhaps I’m cheating the system less than I think. But anyway, I wanted to take a moment to talk about expressing one’s self.

I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not good at talking about myself, in person or in writing. Why? Because I don’t actually like talking about myself, despite what some may think. This is because despite how personable and gregarious as I can appear, I’ve found that beyond certain kinds of entertainment or subjects, a lot of my life experiences have made it difficult for me to relate with many people.

For instance, by the time I was 14 I had moved 24 times, and my freshman year of high school was the beginning of me going to the tenth school I would end up attending(without ever having been expelled) before finishing high school. The combination of moving nearly twice a year up to that point combined with me having been an only child up until 14 made it so that I was often alone as a child.

This had its upsides and its downsides. Upside, I never felt lonely, even into adulthood, if no one was around. I often didn’t notice or care. Downside, people tend to think I’m quiet in person, but the reality is, I’m just not used to having people to talk to. And most of the people that I was around growing up were often more concerned with other things than to give me the time of day.

So, why am I writing this? Especially, since I said 600 words is too much. Well, as some know, a few months ago, I lost one of the most important people in my life. And this led to a lot of reflection on my life the last few months. In this, I've noticed that a lot of my writing lately has been me releasing those thoughts in my writing. Not just in my poetry, but also in the next chapter of my WIP. Some of it is things I’ve held on to for years. Some are new things that have made me question where I am in life. Some were people that have made my life immeasurably better than it was, and that I will miss until I see them again.

I write this for those that are like me. Those that don’t publish everything, because they’re nervous that the world will know their innermost thoughts.

We can’t control everything, but we do control what we do and don’t express to the world. So, express yourself. You never know if you’re the voice in the darkness someone needs to hear today. And don’t worry about the rest.

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