To the Girl Trying to Heal

"Grief is like the ocean. It's deep and dark and bigger than all of us. Pain is like a thief in the night...quiet, persistent, unfair...diminished by time and faith and love.” -'One Tree Hill'

We think that it’s not okay to be sad. That we have to be strong. That we have to keep pushing forward. We think the best way to move on is to forget and to suppress our feelings. But, sadness is something that demands to be felt. And the longer it isn’t acknowledged the more it will demand to be felt. Without allowing ourselves to feel sad, we can’t ever truly heal.

It’s okay to be sad. It’s a feeling that needs to be embraced and felt in order to heal. Without feeling sad, we allow the brokenness to become a part of us until it surfaces. We feel sad because we experience loss. And we need to grieve that loss before we can move on.

“We think that when we have moments of sadness, we aren’t happy. We think that when we have moments of weakness, we aren’t strong. We think that if we have a cheat meal we ruin our shot at ebbing in shape. This isn’t the case at all, in fact, the very opposite.”Leena Sanders

When we get sad it often feels like we are stuck in this really dark and hopeless place. It feels like there is this ever looming cloud of darkness over us. It feels like you’ll never escape the waves of sadness that keep crashing into you. It feels like we’ve hit rock bottom. And it’s okay to feel that, but it’s not okay to stay there.

In order to heal completely, you have to embrace feeling sad. But, that doesn’t need to become your life and identity. You are allowed to feel. But, it’s not okay to be victim. Life happens. Breakups occur. Friendships end. Jobs are lost. Shit happens.

Healing isn’t something that happens in a day. You don’t wake up and you are all better. It takes time, you can’t rush it. Some days will seem hopeless while others will feel hopeful. There will be times when you think you are okay and that you’re over it, but then something will remind you that you’re not okay. That you’re not over it yet. And you’ll feel everything again. You'll feel sad, but you’ll remind yourself that you want to find happiness again. And then one day, you’ll be able to see that thing or person and you’ll be okay. It’s not that you’ll ever forget what happened, it’s that you will be able to acknowledge and address it and move on. Your heart may not forget, but your heart will learn how to move on. Your heart will learn how to be okay.

Because without pain, you wouldn’t know how strong you are. And without loss, you wouldn’t know appreciate worth.

It’s possible to strong while you’re sad. It takes a lot of strength to be able to feel something that you don’t want to feel. It doesn’t make you weak to feel your pain. It’s a necessary part of healing.

“You do not digress by spending moments with your pain, you do not go backwards by spending moments with you refer of movement, it is a part of healing. Wherever you are, you are part of healing.”-Leena Sanders

Be patient with yourself. Allow yourself to feel and embrace your feelings. Give yourself permission to grieve and heal. Give yourself permission to feel sad and heal.