These 5 Simple Rules Gave Me The Best Life Lessons

I remember when rules were annoying to me.

When I was in my early twenties, I wanted to have fun and be in control, and I didn't care about noticing any of the warning signs about my life or my behavior.

I was not into following rules and routines. I've learned this comes with consequences.

I was ignorant, immature, and completely lacking in self-reflection. After hitting a brick wall repeatedly, I finally began to see I was responsible for all the necessary drama in my life.

I've noticed this in my friends and family: we spend so much time playing the blame game and not taking accountability.

We want to defend ourselves from others' blame, but in doing so, we pass the fault along.

If we want to evolve, we need to realize how much our experiences are our responsibility.

Here are the five important yet simple realizations that helped me realize how I was sabotaging my life.

Rule 1

Always say less than necessary - Robert Greene

I adopted this rule of thumb many years ago when I came across this quote from Robert Greene, an American author and speaker, in The 48 Laws of Power.

When I started reading his book, I could understand many situations in my life, such as how I was allowing myself to react to unimportant conditions.

With Greene's book, I learned how to plan to master the art of timing strategically. I began to ignore things that were not important to my journey by using my intelligence, honesty, and generosity.

We have a saying here in my home country of Brazil:

"If words are made of silver, silence is made of gold."

Why? Because silence is the best answer to everything.

It's better to be silent when unsure what to say or do next. Silence allows us to think clearly before responding. It gives us time to consider our words before putting them into the situation.

Silence is also the best way to deal with people who have hurt you.

For example, the silent treatment. When someone does you wrong, there is no better way to get them to reflect on their actions than to give them space to think.

When someone disrespects you, putting them in this metaphorical time-out gives you space to collect yourselves.

Silence is indifferent to negativity. It helps you make the right choice, and it helps you protect yourself from those who wish to harm you.

Rule 2

Life is a balance between holding on and letting go - Rumi

This one is big in my life.

It took me a long time to master the art of balance and to accept that nothing is permanent.

I've learned that life is a delicate balance. You need to know when to hold on tight and when to let go.

Once I mastered this lesson, I pictured life as a dance between two elements that must flow harmoniously.

This quote helped me hold onto values and relationships that uplift me while releasing the burdens that no longer served me.

Maintaining balance is a challenging task, especially when life introduces new challenges.

For me, this new format is a challenge.

I mainly write other types of articles, and I am comfortable with that writing style. In addition, I mainly write in my native language, Brazilian Portuguese. English is a delightful yet uncomfortable challenge.

The challenge of writing in a different format, practicing vulnerability, and learning something new makes me uncomfortable and scared, but I love it because fear motivates me to grow.

When we open ourselves up to new challenges, we let go of the idea that we should be perfect.

Rule 3

What we think we become - Buddha

When I was insecure and living in my ignorance, the imposter in me always made me believe that everybody else was in a better place than I was.

I believed everyone else was better than me, especially with my romantic relationships.

I used to put the person I was dating on a pedestal. I accepted red flags and selfish behavior. I didn't think I deserved better.

We need to think we deserve better so we can give ourselves permission to find better.

When I started to believe I didn't need to accept the abuse, I experienced an explosion of awareness. It helped me realize this:

How we see ourselves is often what we change into.

Because I saw myself in situations where I felt insecure and weak, I attracted those situations to my life.

It's as if my brain sets a goal and works diligently, sometimes subconsciously, towards it.

If you imagine yourself as a successful author, you might find yourself writing more passionately.

Similarly, if you see yourself as a kind-hearted soul, you should prepare for an upswing in empathy.

Earl Nightingale also touched on this thought when he said, "We become what we think about most of the time."

Our minds are a mold waiting to be shaped by our thoughts.

Rule 4

A great man is hard on himself, a small man is hard on others - Confucius

As the first rule explains, the blame game is something we all play. We love to point fingers. It's human nature to always mind everyone else's business instead of focusing on ourselves.

I used to be easily upset by other people's lives. Then, I realized that this behavior stemmed from an insecure place.

They didn't have the same mindset I did, which was hard for me to understand. Then, I realized this behavior came out of fear and insecurity.

When I understood I couldn't control others' thoughts or actions, I gained the freedom to be the master of myself and my own life.

Like Rule 2, this helped me let go of something I didn't need to hold onto.

Instead of continuing to criticize others, I redirected that energy to understanding myself more.

When we are hard on ourselves, we analyze our actions, aim for continuous improvement, and never settle for mediocrity.

Someone hard on others invests their energy into criticizing, gossiping, and judging others.

They are adept at pointing fingers, avoiding self-reflection, and remaining buried under their insecurities.

Self-improvement is the mark of greatness, while judgment is the shelter of the insignificant.

Rule 5

The future depends on what we do in the present - Mahatma Gandhi

The need to have things right there, right now.

For some years, I was an ego-driven person who wanted things my way, so you can imagine how I reacted when things didn't go as planned.

I would get mad and ruminate for days if everything I planned didn't go as expected. I would repeatedly ask myself if there was anything I had done wrong.

Then I realized that life results from how we respond to situations, how long we allow ourselves to be bothered, and how much importance we give to unproductive things.

Today's actions shine the way to our future realities.

Once you realize this, the importance of present acts must be noticed. We must seize and mold the present wisely to create a brighter future.

By being bold, we lay the groundwork for the tomorrows we desire.

The future doesn't happen - it's the outcome of our choices today.

Key Takeaways

The keys to a more balanced and meaningful life are maintaining a productive attitude, making informed decisions, and striving to manifest a prosperous future.

My life changed for the better when I adopted these rules. My awareness increased by consistently following them.

It can be easy to forget what we have learned by falling back into old habits while on a growth journey, but this is also part of the process. Growth is cyclical. As we evolve, forgiving ourselves when we slip up is essential.

These five quotes have helped me on my journey by forcing me to recognize my responsibility in situations that didn't contribute to my happiness.

In your opinion, which of these quotes helps you most with your self-reflection, self-knowledge, or self-improvement?

Subscribe to my weekly Triumph Thursday newsletter. In it, I answer anonymous readers' questions about relationships, spirituality, and more on the Mindful Purpose Podcast.

© 2023 Zondra dos Anjos.