The Lotus Effect

"To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering." - Friedrich Nietzsche

Why is it a person can go through an event that shakes them to the core, rattles their soul, or breaks their heart and they later say "I wouldn't change a thing."? We dislike or fear what causes us pain, yet in some situations, the lesson we learn may be worth the cost of such struggles.

Experiencing negative events in your life, is inevitable. There is more out of your control than under it. The one thing you have that no one else can take is your perception of your situation. That is a hell of a hand, and is too often played wrong.

The lotus effect is when beauty is found in an unlikely place or situation. Not every situation can be named beautiful, but possibly valuable. We're programmed to assess, experience and react to our situation from birth. What matters is not the immediate feeling in the moment, but the attitude born with reflection. We never stop following our natural instincts, as we get older, we carve out ourselves with our experiences and lessons learned. So much so, that if you subtract the struggle you subtract the evolution. In the lotus' case, without the mud to give it the water it needs, it can't grow.

I latched onto this idea at the age of seventeen and in almost a decade since, it isn't going anywhere. My struggles seemed mountainous, if I didn't cling to hope of a silver lining, I'd have self-destructed. We don't have to invite suffering in to see why it has value. A divorce, painful as they can be, can show you how strong and resilient you are. It can show you parts of yourself you didn't know you had. It can teach you what your true values are and what you want for your life next. Or mistakes you don't want to repeat.

We can be perfectionists and when we ultimately fail, we hold onto it. We obsess over it as if it's proof that we're hopeless. Except hopeless too easily turns to helpless. We use our mistakes to fuel excuses, behave badly, and they become like the sun, circling us until we rely on their warmth to survive. Our lives can be defined by our percieved failure. Or you approach with new eyes, and realize that from this moment forward you can live in a way that the mistakes weren't in vain. They happened, they can't be undone or reversed, but you can walk away better having had them. The alternative would be to deny our innate ability to adapt and survive.

As long as you're here, you're never hopeless. You've made it this far and for a reason. Come to terms with whatever it is that is eating you, and begin to forgive yourself, others and the situation. A bitter heart serves no one and keeps you from 'blooming'. Release the burden that it is your fault, situations are never black and white, don't live your life carrying it with you. Take what's valuable and meaningful and release the rest. Use it to craft your life and decisions with care and a positive mindset. Not a single person has all of the answers, we're all seeking something. We're all questioning, ruminating and pondering. We share this existence and all of it's highs and lows and imperfections. Give no credence to the murky water, only the lotus, bright and glorious is deserving of your attention. It made a long journey to bloom, and bloom it did.