The hardest part of trying to remain strong

I thought that leaving my abusive relationship, leaving his house, would be the hardest part. I thought that everything that came after that was going to be easy after what I went through. What I am finding is that the healing, dealing with the aftermath, is just as hard. At least for me, it may even be harder. Making the decision to leave, was like ripping a band-aid off. But the aftermath, has been like taking a band-aid off one hair at a time. I am trying to leave from it, I am trying to heal. After everything I have been through, all I want is to live in a life of joy and peace and happiness. When you are the only one trying to make your life and yourself better, most people don't get it. My problem is that the people in my life are not on that road. I know that is okay, as everyone is on their own path. If they are not on a path of building their dream life, then they don't understand why you would want to do that.

Most people in my life are not trying to go after their goals. They don't really have goals. So it's hard for anyone to understand what I am doing. Everyone ask me, "why do you work out every day". Like that is a crazy thing. I don't want it to get to me. In fact, I have been telling myself to not let it get to me, to stay in my own lane. However, somehow over time it has gotten to me. I have been going through the motions of my days without any drive. There's no push to do better. I go to the gym every day, and I work out. But recently I realized that I'm not pushing myself to do better. I was just doing the working, going through the motions of the exercises. That is the last thing that I want to do. I'm just not sure what I can do it change it. Even though I am trying to get myself out of it, I just can't seem to do it.

One thing that I am going to do change is to do more tracking. I know that when I am tracking my goals that I do better at trying to hit them. Earlier this year, I switched to a digital planner. It has been a learning process. But I don't think that I am using it to the best of my ability. I can for sure do better at using the systems that I have.

The thing that I have to remember is that I need to focus on my goals, and staying on my path in my lane. So tracking things on my own, is a great way to keep me focused on accomplishing my goals.

My second problem is having people that give me stress and bring negativity into my life. It's hard to stay in your own strength and confidence when people are putting you down. I have been trying, but it's hard. I'm having a problem staying in the energy that I can do this, that I am strong, that I am capable, even though I am on my own. It's always better when you have people around you that believe in you. However, I don't feel like I have that. I wish that I had that. I wish that I had someone that could lift me up and remind me that I am strong when I need it. When you are on your own truly, that is the hardest thing about staying strong. It's hard to always be strong.

Silence have been helping me a lot. As well as walking in silence with my own thoughts. I walk a lot, as I don't drive, dropping my daughter off at school, picking her up and going to the gym. I have been walking without anything on, no music, no videos. Just me and my thoughts. It has been really helping me to process my thoughts and feelings on things. I make an effort to stop any negative thoughts that I may say to myself.

Meditation and affirmations have been really helping me a lot. Every morning I do affirmations in my journal, about the dream life that I want. As well as saying positive things about myself. It sets up my day for positive thoughts. Mediations throughout the day have also really been helping me. Especially if you follow a guided meditation, which really helps me if you are just getting into meditation at all. It has really been helping me calm my mind from all my anxious, stressful and negative thoughts.

The hardest part of this journey to staying strong in myself. The best advice I can give it to try to surround yourself with people that will lift you up. That will help you on the journey of getting better. People who believe in you and want to see you succeed. That is the best way to help you stay on the path. If you can't, hopefully these little tips will help.

-T