It is true. Well, I believe it to be true. Frankly, I wasn’t going to write about this subject, but I threw caution to the wind and decided to give it a shot. This whole thing came out of an argument I was having with a girl friend of mine. The conversation got heated at some point, but we managed to keep everything above board. We stayed civil as we always do. I guess whenever people talk about a subjective theme like happiness, passions come out and it shows how differently we feel about happiness.
We live in a society where the meeting we have in the morning is more important than how we treat the cab driver who is transporting us.
Times are tough! Now, that's too self evident to mention, but let me get real about it.
We struggle to accept change because the new expectations do not align with past protocols. We resist changes that implement new systems because we ask the wrong question.
.. As a kid I was a distracted tyke whose main interests were food, music, my dad's collection of Playboy magazines and the hit TV show The Dukes of Hazard. Aside from those four pillars of humanity I also found myself in possession of a set of encyclopaedias published in the late 60’s aimed at exploring and explaining the various religious texts of the world.
Most things in life come down to who can last the longest. Who simply doesn't quit. Not just in my world of CrossFit but in all aspects of life. The lessons we learn in the box usually have a deeper meaning than barbells and pull-ups and muscles. Think about it for a second.
When you are a child, your parents sit you on their knee and read you stories, with Dragons eggs, and Dinosaurs. Far away lands and true love. Being rescued by the prince, or going on a great adventure. Their were princess stories, and adventure tales.
Right now, the entire globe is affected by unexpected changes that have occurred due to this pandemic. The United States in particular has faced high mortality rates and rising unemployment. Most essential workers have an abundance of stress due to pressure and the risk of dealing with large amounts of people. Not to mention the shift happening with law enforcement and our government.
Some traumatized people can recall every detail of their trauma while others remember little; if any of the actual events, yet are plagued with physical and emotional sensations that are down right mind boggling and distressing. Many who have experienced trauma and terror have learned to “shut down” their awareness of bodily signals, that “intuition side” which in turn inadvertently conditions them to distrust themselves. How can you get out of the cycle of distrust, negativity, and fear and find some relief? Here are some ways that may help you on your healing journey:
What excuses are you currently making for not reaching your goals? What truths are you avoiding? What lies are you telling yourself every day? Is it comfortable…living in your own damn comfort zone and rarely leaving it? Well, here’s the ugly truth for you: no one else is going to chase and accomplish your goals for you. No one. Let that sink in for a moment. No one is going to make your dreams and goals true. No one is going to save you. It is up to you. Only you. Remember that the next time you look at the mirror. The reality and seriousness might not sink in immediately, but let it simmer. Leave it on the backburner of your mind.
First of all, if your reading this little thought of mine I appreciate you taking the time to slow down from your busy life and take a deep breath. In fact, go ahead and take a few deep breaths and exhale each breath very slowly. Now that your mind is a little clearer take a few minutes to stop and think about all the things that you want, you might list a number of items that are desired by every person that you know. Maybe you want a new phone or a new car even if they are only new to you. Maybe you want to take that vacation you've always dreamed of. Everyone in the world desires something all the time. It doesn't matter if you have enough money to buy a private island or you're sitting on the side of the street asking strangers for enough money to eat for a day. It doesn't matter if you are a 5 year old child wanting a toy for your birthday or an 85 year old grandparent wanting nothing more than to spend time with your children and grandchildren. But if you truly take the time to delve deep into those desires what you will find is that everyone is looking for happiness. But happiness is a fleeting shifting thing and its different for everyone. The key to seeing each person’s immediate happiness is in why we want the things that we want. Take a look at someone wanting a new phone for example. What if the reason that person’s wanting a new phone (maybe it's only new to them) has less to do with the phone than what they use the phone for. Perhaps that phone is the means by which they communicate with their loved ones. Being connected with friends and loved ones is important to our health and happiness. In fact the reason that most people desire things is in an effort to build and maintain personal connections. And of course we also get a boost of self-satisfaction and ego when we obtain new things. Like someone that has just bought a brand new convertible and drives slowly down the street so that everyone can see. I personally disagree with doing so but it's undeniable that people also derive happiness from the envy and misfortune of others. It makes us feel good to know that we have a better lot than someone else. Consistent long lasting happiness is often difficult for people to achieve. Those that do are usually more content with better personal connections rather than more things. Contentment is truly the ultimate goal because a content person doesn’t want much. Needs and wants are a matter of human nature and therefore it is difficult to set aside wants in place of contentment. Naturally it’s impossible to lump everyone into the same mold because everyone is different. No two people are exactly alike but most people share similar needs and wants. We all need food, but while many can be satisfied with a cheeseburger some can only be satisfied with a very certain cheeseburger with very certain condiments. In many cases we tell ourselves that we need things that are only wants. So the next time you want something ask yourself why. What emotional or physical need does it satisfy? Will it contribute to your lasting happiness or only your immediate happiness? Is your happiness gained at the expense of someone else's happiness? I'm not a doctor or a priest and I don't have any intentions of telling anyone how to live, but it doesn't hurt to take some time to self-reflect. Knowing yourself can help you make better choices and become a better, happier person.