Living with Intent

There is a saying I grew up with that I’ve never been able to get out of my head. It is: If you go looking for trouble, you’re going to find it.

Of course, as an admonishment for anything remotely viewed as childlike, stupid behavior in my life, well, I suppose that’s when it started turning up.

Except, it’s true. Of course, you can take the opposite view and say: If you go looking for opportunities, you will find them.

Or, if you go looking for joy, you will find it.

Basically, wherever you turn your focus and interest, you’ll uncover what you’re looking for. It’s true in its many applications. Personally, I’d rather have the more uplifting versions of this old saying working in my direction.

The beauty is that you control what you’re looking for.

So how do you apply these ideas to your own life?

What if you are working a demanding job? I mean, this is the sort of job that you can barely get to on time because you just don’t want to be there. A job that saps you of energy. A job where you feel like you’ve hit a dead end and there’s nothing new on the horizon for years?

Well, is that dismal enough for you? I would say it was plenty dismal.

So, how can you change any of that?

A friend once told me that, when it comes to dieting, it is psychologically easier to add something to your diet than to subtract something. Say, your weakness is chocolate. You eat chocolate four times a week. It’s just what you’ve been doing for years. And you want to cut chocolate out of your diet. So, substitute a small apple instead. Not a big apple. A small one. You can still have chocolate once a week, so you aren’t depriving yourself completely of this delicious treat. Instead, you’ve added a delicious apple (or whatever floats your boat).

The same thing happens when you say, "I'd love to write, but I just don't have the time." You only need 15 minutes. Get up a few minutes earlier and write down a few words in your journal, even if it is only a to-do list.

So, one thing you can practice is living with intent. Your intention is to be creative, productive, loving, or more caring. Your intent belongs to you. Nobody tells you to live your life that way. You don’t read about it online and adopt somebody else’s intent. You create your own intention. Which, of course, will change over time.

It’s like your goal is a moving target. You spend six months focused on one spot, only to have it move on you. Does that mean you chose the wrong goal in the first place? Of course not. That’s what happens to goals. They change over time, depending on your experiences and expectations.

Okay, and what about failures? You could fail. Of course, you could, and I hope you do. It’s in picking yourself up and trying again that you develop a backbone in life.

What if you keep running into one roadblock after another? Well, yes, that could happen. Again, that is not the bad luck of the world following you through life. That’s you running into a problem even after you thought you’d sorted it out. Why does that happen?

It’s like being in therapy. You take one aspect of your life that doesn’t seem to be working out. With your therapist, you work on solutions. You try one and find it doesn’t work. You go back to your therapist, and together you decide on another course of action. This time it works. You are stronger. You can get things done. Six months down the road, you crash and burn and shout that your therapist was no good. Right? Wrong.

You had the skills to address an issue in your life that just wasn’t working. It worked for a while. What happened? Life happened. You had enough skills to move past this one issue. Then, your inner self said to the room at large, “Ah, now she is ready for the next lesson.” That’s all that was. Surprise. You develop patience as you think your way through to the next buried time bomb. Except, over the years, they become less of a bomb and more of a new opportunity to grow some more. Over the years, you develop more and more skill until, when something bad happens, you know what to do right away instead of waiting three months thinking you are a failure.

You were never a failure. You just had a lot of lessons. Life lessons aren’t one-and-done. No, life lessons drag on and on, but in the end? You’re smarter. You’re compassionate. You’re kind. And you can bounce back faster than anyone else you know.

Like my Spirit Guide says a lot: Oh, Happy Accident.

Thanks for reading.

Pauline Evanosky