Self Love Goals: 5 Self Love Goals and How To Reach Them

Self love is not just a new buzz word which encourages you to take a bubble bath and light some candles. It's about cultivating a positive and compassionate relationship with yourself as you travel through life, regardless of your circumstances. It's accepting that you are of value and worthy of love right now, exactly how you are, no arguments.

If you're like I once was, in the pits of self-hatred and striving for unattainable perfection, the concept of love can seem pretty far-fetched. I'm here to tell you that is achievable. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, probably not even next week. But if you take baby steps towards feeling more love towards yourself, you'll be there in no time.

If you're looking to start your journey towards self love, we've got you covered. In this post, we'll outline five self love goals that you should strive for, and provide you with practical tips on how to reach them.

What is self love?

Self love is the practice of taking care of your emotional, mental, and physical well-being. It's prioritizing your own needs before you take care of the needs of others. Self love is an unwavering acceptance of yourself and all that you are.

Why should we set self love goals?

Setting goals in life provide us with direction and give us something to aim for. They help us to take the right steps to progress forward. Goals also help us to prioritise certain areas of our life, depending on what we want to accomplish.

For example, if I set myself a goal of saving $1000 within the next 6 months, I'll be inspired to take action to reach that goal. Buying a brand new games console or splurging on a designer handbag would seem senseless when I have committed to reaching a certain financial goal.

Similarly, if I set myself the self love goal of stopping negative self talk about myself, I'm more likely to tell my inner monologue to shut up when it starts talking rubbish. Each time the voice inside my head tries to say something negative, "You can't wear that outfit, you look ridic-" I'll shut it down. I'll remind myself that I can wear whatever I want. I wouldn't criticize a friend on their outfit choice. I'm not going to do the same to myself.

Eventually, our behaviour choices become habits. Setting initial goals help us to form small habits which eventually make big changes. Goals are even move achievable when we take the time to recognise and celebrate how far you have already come and recognise each milestone.

Self love goals

Below are 5 self love goals which I think you should try to aim for if you're starting out your self love journey. I'll break them down into small steps which you begin to implement into your day-to-day life.

Stop comparing yourself to others

One of the most important self love goals you can set for yourself is to stop comparing yourself to others. It's easy to fall into the trap of comparing your life, your accomplishments, and your appearance others, even strangers on social media.

However, constantly comparing yourself to other people can have a negative impact on your mental health and self-esteem. It's important to remember that everyone has their own unique path and journey, and there's no one right way to live your life.

You have to remember that we see a tiny snippet of the best part of people's lives on social media. Your super-pretty friend Katy will probably post vacation pics of her in the Maldives, but she's less likely to post a photo of her and her boyfriend arguing.

Similarly, if you use social media regularly, take a look at the content you post. I'm willing to bet it's a mere snapshot of your life, the best bits, obviously. You can't compare your life with someone else's. People reach milestones in life at different times and it's completely unfair on you to compare!

In terms of appearance, comparing yourself to other people does more damage than it's worth. I'm sure you've heard of the phrase about flowers and Christmas lights.

"Just because you don't look like somebody who you think is attractive doesn't mean you aren't attractive. Flowers are pretty but so are Christmas lights and they look nothing alike."

Begin to understand that we are all unique. What is considered attractive in some cultures isn't in other cultures. Beauty trends are constantly changing and there is no point trying to keep up with them.

Recognise when you're comparing yourself to others. Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings, and try to identify any negative self-talk that's rooted in comparison. Once you've identified these patterns, challenge them by reminding yourself that everyone's journey is different, and there's no one-size-fits-all approach to life.

Instead of focusing on what others have achieved, focus on your own accomplishments and celebrate them.

By practicing self-compassion and acknowledging your own strengths, you'll be able to break free from the comparison trap and embrace your own unique journey.

Set boundaries

Setting boundaries can feel really uncomfortable at first, especially if you're not used to setting them. Before you decide on what boundaries you're going to set going forward, I recommend doing some research. Michelle Elman's book, The Joy of Being Selfish, is my go to boundary-bible. You can read my review of it here and learn how it helped me set boundaries in my own life.

Once you've done a bit of research about boundaries, start by identifying what your personal boundaries are and communicate them to others. Think about what makes you feel uncomfortable, disrespected, or taken advantage of, and be clear about what you're not willing to tolerate.

An example of a simple boundary to set would be leaving a conversation which makes you feel belittled or judged. If a relative comments on your weight and this makes you unhappy, you could say "I don't appreciate comments from others about my weight. Please don't mention it again or I'll leave the room". This way, if your relative mentions your weight again, you can leave the conversation knowing that you had a boundary firmly in place.

Remember that setting boundaries isn't about being selfish or unkind - it's about respecting yourself and communicating your needs in a clear and assertive way. Be prepared to enforce your boundaries if they're crossed, and don't be afraid to seek support or guidance if you're struggling to set or maintain boundaries in your relationships.

Boundaries teach other people how to treat us.

Find your tribe

Another important self love goal is to find your tribe. The people we surround ourselves with can have a profound impact on our well-being, so it's essential to build relationships with those who uplift and support us. Find the people who you feel excited to pick up the phone to. They enhance your life, they don't drain it.

To reach this self love goal, start by seeking out people who share your values and interests. Remember that finding your tribe is about quality, not quantity - it's better to have a few close relationships with people who truly support and uplift you than a large group of superficial connections.

By finding your tribe, you'll have a support system in place to help you navigate life's challenges and celebrate your successes. Finding your tribe is a process, and it may take time and effort to build meaningful connections. Don't rush friendship, take it slow, just as you would if you were dating a partner.

Find what makes you happy

When we prioritize our own happiness we're able to show up more fully in our lives and feel more fulfilled. However, it can be easy to lose sight of what truly brings us joy when we're caught up in the hustle and bustle of our lives. That's why it's so important to take the time to explore our passions, interests, and values, and to make space for the things that truly light us up.

Start by asking yourself what brings you joy. Think about the activities or experiences that make you feel most alive and fulfilled. Whether that's spending time in nature, practicing a creative pursuit, or connecting with loved ones. Make a list of these things and prioritize incorporating them into your life on a regular basis.

Remember that finding what makes you happy is a process, and it may take some experimentation to discover what truly resonates with you. Be patient and gentle with yourself as you explore new things and make space for what brings you joy.

By prioritizing your own happiness and well-being, you'll be better equipped to show up in your life with a greater sense of authenticity. You'll also cultivate a deeper sense of self-awareness and self-acceptance, which are essential components of self love. So go ahead and find what makes you happy - you deserve it!

Treat yourself like your best friend

Think about how you treat your closest friend - you listen to them when they need to talk, offer support and encouragement, and celebrate their successes, right? Why not do the same for yourself?

It's easy to be hard on ourselves and forget that we deserve the same kindness and compassion that we offer to others. By treating ourselves like our best friend, we can grow our sense of self-compassion and self love.

Start by practicing self-talk that is kind, supportive, and uplifting. Think about how you would speak to your best friend. Apply the same level of empathy and compassion to your own self-talk. When you make a mistake or face a setback, try to be understanding and forgiving, just as you would with your best friend.

In time, you'll learn to treat yourself with the same level of kindness that you treat others. A crucial step in learning to love yourself.

Conclusion

Self love is not achieved overnight, but taking steps to reach these five goals will start you in the right direction. Remember that self love is a journey, and it requires patience, persistence, and self-compassion.

Are there any other self love goals you are working towards?

*This article was originally posted on my website www.aphroditme.com