How To Build a Life Free Of Regrets

My high school buddy and I went hiking with his kids the other day.

I haven’t seen him for years, and we reflected on our last decade. He said, “I regre — , I mean, I don’t regret anything, but there’s stuff I still want to do.”

You could tell he was nervous about fulling his potential. He wanted to do more, but now he’s locked in with kids and a mortgage.

Life is too dynamic to decide on every little step ahead. However, keep a couple of things in mind when thinking long-term.

Deal with your issues early on

Don’t be afraid to admit you have a problem. I was depressed and had self-esteem issues. I barely had friends I liked. There were days I barely wanted to do anything.

After years of walking around like that, I went to therapy, and things got better. If I had let myself live like that, I could never move forward.

I could never build confidence and find a career path. Or find a new circle of friends. Or approach girls I liked and date them. I would stay stuck. Even the thought of that cripples me.

I have a friend who has financial issues mixed up with low confidence. He never approaches girls when we’re out. He never gets a proper job or tries to build something.

Shit got so worse that he had the “escape” to Australia because he owes some money to the bank. The stupid things he does.

The earlier your deal with your issues, the easier it’ll be to solve them and find a path. The more you postpone things, the worse you feel, the worse your life gets.

Dealing with your issues is fundamental for building a life you’re proud of if you ask me. Don’t trick yourself. Have the courage to say, “I need help”.

Go for what you want (experiment)

I tried to build a marketing agency in 2018. Did it for three years, then realized it wasn’t for me.

Marketing is my day job, and I love it. But I didn’t feel good about that project.

Even when I closed deals, things always felt like an uphill battle.

I didn’t even know WHY I was doing that. Always told myself it was money.

That project was a failure. But it wasn’t a waste of time since I learned about myself.

That experience became part “of me”. I could never get where I am now without it.

If I had not done it, today I’d be asking myself, “What if?”. I’d be full of doubts and angry with myself. That way, at least I “died on my own sword”.

I can live with failure. But I can’t live with regret, doubts, and not going for what I want. If you failed, then ok. Pick yourself up and try again. Mistakes make you intelligent.

Your curiosity is a better foundation for a career than whatever makes you money right now.

“If it entertains you now but will bore you someday, it’s a distraction. Keep looking”- Naval Ravikant.

Find what matters to you

Most people follow social norms and lose themselves. They’re influenced by others. Even if it’s just by a book or a random video on Youtube.

My marketing side hustle didn’t work because it didn’t matter to me as much.

Decisions become easy when you know what matters to you, what you value, and what makes you tick.

I love creating things. I didn’t know what to create, so I created a business.

I later realized “creating” for me translates better as writing. I also love reading books, so it fits well with writing.

Maybe you value time with your family and prioritize that over a career or making money. Great.

You may want to make tons of money, and nothing else matters. Fantastic.

Do you love creating stuff? Maybe it’s your art that’ll worth your time.

Find what matters to you, use it as a compass and build your life around that. Optimize for that goal.

If you can be honest with yourself that way, then be consistent for a couple of years, and you’ll realize, “You know what, my life ain’t that bad.”

Finally, find balance

The final piece is to find balance in all that. It may take you a couple of years, but it’s possible.

If you work towards your goal and don’t enjoy the moment, you risk losing yourself.

Running on a mouse wheel can get you ill. You can spend your whole life chasing goals and money, maybe achieve them, but you’ll hardly enjoy anything if you’re not careful. You may even be dead before you realize it and work your ass off for nothing.

Some people live in the present, and some are more future-focused. Both are necessary. If you aren’t relaxed, you’re too future-focused.

If you’re not disciplined, you lose sight of your goals and the future you want to create.

That is something I still work on. I now measure my days by awareness and enjoyment, not productivity.